Ha ha, U.S. President of Doom Barack Obama obviously has no idea how awful his government is. He seems to think that if an American person has a question about something, that person can just call up the government to get that question answered! HA! OUTRAGEOUS. Come on, Barack Obama, have some sense. At Wednesday’s [...]
Nut-flavored poopsicle Michele Bachmann was visiting flood-affected regions along the Missouri River when she was asked a very simple question about whether she thought proposed government cuts to the USDA should worry farmers needing help because of the damage. Normally Bachmann would get going on her “government isn’t here to solve your problems” speech, but… [...]
Wednesday, February 9: The USDA has just targeted its first fancy-food victim in the War on Fat: pizza. It turns out that a slice of American factory-franchise pizza is supposedly not good for you. But what about the gigantic triangular cheese slabs purchased on the vomit-crusted streets of Adams Morgan, or the slices served out [...]
The U.S. Department of Agriculture promotes the sale of as much U.S. agricultural products as possible, which means soaked in poison and processed out of recognition, but the USDA is also supposedly the national arbiter of nutritional information. This is why the average public school lunch is made of trans fat, e. coli and the [...]
Midterm exit polls have shown that a majority of Americans identify as “obese fatsacks.” But there are many millions of Other Americans who identify as “smug young professionals” — these are the jerks who drink “low-fat vegan skim milk” so that they can stay healthy and smug. Obviously this is borderline treason, because it is [...]
Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! “Just wanted you to know that this dismissal came up at our morning senior staff meeting today,” said the White House’s [...]
Oh look, our pal Shirley finally ended her well-deserved weeks of R&R to hold a press conference with Ag Secretary Tom Vilsack-of-poop about him groveling to get her to come back to the USDA. She decided not to take the job, because who wants to work for Tom Vilsack? That’s not exactly titillating news, but [...]
The USDA should be dissolved, because it makes zero sense to have a separate government death panel just for Agriculture. [Matt Yglesias] The U.S. can only send a few helicopters to rescue flood victims in Pakistan. Maybe if Wikileaks didn’t start the War in Afghanistan we could have helped out more? [Think Progress] Many ignorant [...]
In these rancid sweltering days of summer when smart people are at their beach houses and only the poor and the dumb continue to “show up for work,” media professionals understand that there’s basically no news, and no audience for that lack of news. In late summers past, interns and near-retirement burnouts would dump a [...]
Have you been waiting up all day and night for Washington firebrand Wolf Blitzer’s take on the whole Shirley Sherrod bogus wingnut video White House embarrassment outrage scandal thing, on Wolf Blitzer’s Twitter? Here, America. Now heal. [Wolf Blitzer's Twitter]
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs apologized to Shirley Sherrod “on behalf of this entire administration” in his daily briefing, which Sherrod “watched live on CNN.” Gibbs said Vilsack is “trying to reach her” to talk and apologize to her. Sherrod, like a true champ, said the administration has her phone number and knows how [...]
And how did the White House managers react to Shirley Sherrod being fired from the USDA because Andrew Breitbart fucked around with a video he found somewhere? High Fives all around, according to Politico’s Ben Smith. During Tuesday morning’s staff meeting, White House deputy chief of staff Jim Messina reportedly said, “We could have waited [...]
Andrew Breitbart is here once again to save the day, this time to show us that the NAACP is racist, NOT Teabaggers. “The NAACP and the Congressional Black Caucus do not want racial harmony. They want political victory, and the race card is their Strativarius [sic],” he writes, hilariously. The NAACP wants to take out [...]
