vice president
Here is a Hot Scoop via our nation’s secret spy network, CSPAN: one of the main guys from John McCain’s VP vetting committee spilled salacious details on how and why Joe Lieberman did not get to be John McCain’s Sarah Palin.
At this point everybody knows about how Sarah Palin griped at some GOP dinner last week about how there was nobody to pray with before the vice presidential debate besides her speech coach/daughter, Piper. And Jesus. Naturally, McCain aides who suffered by her side for months, TWO WHOLE MONTHS, are furious at the suggestion that [...]
Jill Biden, huzzah! She should own sixteen Nobel Prizes already, for staying married to the blabbermouth Joe Biden and for sending out a fundraising appeal on behalf of the pants monster Hillary Clinton. Now she deserves another prize, for Truth, because of what she told Oprah yesterday.
Human dumpster Sarah Palin hasn’t held many unnecessary interviews in the last few weeks, what the hell is wrong with her? Does she want this thing in 2012 or not?? Her lazy ass needs to be in cold motherfuckin’ IOWA right now and every week for the next few years, going to fried steak dinners [...]
Joe Biden used to have a nice life. He did his work at the Senate, and then he took a relaxing train ride back to his nice house and family in Delaware. Thanks to the sinister schemes of your new president, Barack Obama, the happy times of Joe Biden will all end forever in January, [...]
Even if Joe Biden manages to escape Dick Cheney’s house and walk out that front door again… well, he’ll never be the same. Oh, the horrible things he will see. There’ll be no more jokes from Crazy Joe, we’re afraid. [YouTube]
Joe Biden has accepted a rare invitation from America’s most popular politician, Dick Cheney, to tour his off-the-grid slave castle, “One Observatory Circle,” for an “evening sit-down” tomorrow. The tour will kick off with Dick Cheney opening the front door and shooting his successor in the skull, lopping off a chunk of brain. Joe will [...]
Ha ha ha darling cub reporter Damon Weaver is the next Liz Glover! Joe Biden totally treats this wee child like a normal press person — invading his personal space, saying “literally” when he means “figuratively,” and promising that President Barack Obama will start a million foreign wars as soon as he’s in office. The [...]
Hurrah, it is a very short YouTube clip! Joe Biden says the middle class’s biggest problem is a three-letter word: jobs, J-O-B-S. Three letters, literally. Literally. [Joe Biden Can't Count]
Sarah Palin continues to avoid the “mainstream gotcha media” wing of yellow black journalists after Katie Couric, the host of a basic news program for old people, proved to be too In The Tank in too many interviews. Since last week’s debate, she’s only granted interviews to such staunch conservative kingpins as Hugh Hewitt, Rush [...]
This is pretty much perfect, except maybe somewhere you could squeeze in, “That Joe person is crying about his dead family?! –> Shout Maverick several times,” which is something that happened. [Adennak via Andrew Sullivan]
Trying. To keep. Blood pressure. Down. Musn’t DIE. Watching the lady lie about literally everything. Oh, she has some complete sentences alright. “Congratulations.” You’re still not a human though! STILL NOT THERE! Oh and Joe — less numbers! We realize numbers are your defense mechanism whenever you really want to say “SHUT THE HELL UP [...]
Gotta admit, we’re feeling a teeny bit of pressure for tonight’s liveblogging. The last time we remember the comedy stakes being anywhere near as high as this was the GOP YouTube Debate last November. (Memories!) (Sigh.) Come back at 8:30 ET for the pre-game liveblog! Until then, we’ve compiled the last two days’ worth of [...]
