vice president
TODAY’S POLITICAL GOSSIP RENDERED USELESS: Just up on First Read: “As Delaware Sen. Joe Biden left his home a few minutes ago, golf clubs in tow, he was asked where he was going to be on Saturday. Biden replied, ‘Here’ and pointed down to his driveway. As he pulled out of the driveway in the [...]
DEMOCRATS TO SPEND CONVENTION WEDNESDAY PRETENDING THEY AREN’T PUSSIES: The Obama people announced on a conference call today that the Wednesday of their convention — the night the vice president speaks, assuming there ever is one — will be National Security Night, meaning it will focus on “Securing America’s Future.” You know, with guns and [...]
DICK CHENEY’S UNIVERSALLY LOATHED CORPSE TO BE REANIMATED FOR ONE LAST HURRAH AT REPUBLICAN NATIONAL CONVENTION: Whew! “Cheney plans to speak on the first night of the convention in St. Paul, Minn., the same Monday night that President Bush will speak. … There had been doubts about a speech by Cheney, who remains unpopular with [...]
HA, Bill Kristol‘s column is like seriously not bad today. Hooray! This is because he writes about actual political strategy and not about how Obama is Hitler at the War Dildo. And he has a scoop, from his friends who work for McCain. Oh neat a scoop.
OH DON’T MIND US, LADIES: Hey Matt Jaffe and Rick Klein of ABC “News,” did we st-st-stutter when we wrote this story like a million years ago with “Must Credit Wonkette And Its Tipster, ‘John’” in the headline? No, and now “John” is sobbing, probably. JAKE TAPPER would’ve credited us because HE’S THE MAN and [...]
So what’s been going on with our greatest Vice President, Richard “Dick” Cheney, since we last spoke? Nothing much, just some new revelations about Cheney bein’ Cheney, hatin’ on the environment and such. In this latest news cycle, we have the tale of that time Cheney’s office once edited out six pages of the CDC [...]
Guess who will for sure be John McCain’s pretend vice president until November 4? Creepy businessman Mitt Romney, that’s who! According to a Super Exclusive and Very Weird Sentence by CO-ED Magazine, which is actually a website full of hot young girls who are more than half naked: “Sen. John McCain will choose businessman and [...]
Vice presidential “hopeful” and Louisiana’s Mexican boy-governor, Bobby Jindal, has just signed into law a very special bill, because he is incapable of vetoing anything and also because HE IS NOT OF THIS WORLD. The bill (now law) here is called “the Sex Offender Chemical Castration Bill, SB 144, authorizing the castration of convicted sex [...]
Louisiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, the Indian street urchin who is also somehow a Mexican Catholic exorcist, is 36-years-old and supposedly “beloved” by his backward state, for being charismatic and Strong. He has been a governor for literally -2 hours. The state has chosen this moment to start hating him, for reneging on a campaign pledge [...]
