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Oh how we miss the days when we could write about pasty rat sack Newt Gingrich sobbing over how no one remembered his existence. Because this is what Newt Gingrich should be, a forgotten nightmare that not even a bad acid trip can rouse from the depths of half-memory. That was our first thought when [...]
Adults have never had much luck talking so much as a faint glimmer of sense into Michele Bachmann, so maybe someone smarter but a little closer to her own intellectual ilk can finally reach her? Eight-year-old Elijah came with his mom to an Occupy Myrtle Beach gathering at one of Bachmann’s book signings to let [...]
Here is some hilarious archaeological evidence of hair gel-powered mannequin Mitt Romney’s lifelong struggle to convey a basic sense of humanity courtesy of the year 1994 when he was campaigning for Ted Kennedy’s Senate seat: an energetic high school nerd interviewer lets candidate Romney rattle off his talking points before asking him whether he likes [...]
Just to clarify: Michele Bachmann isn’t offering to let gays get married in the same way straight people do, she’s offering to let gays marry people of the opposite sex if they feel the need to be able to get hitched so badly. This is how “civil rights” works, according to someone with a mail-order [...]
Have you somehow forgotten about Arizona these past few days? Let’s remember it all over again, for the holidays! Nothing says “mythology of the peaceful savior Jesus” like an Arizona gun club hosting a Guns ‘n Santa family foto event. “I thinks it’s going to be all in fun from those who support the second [...]
Here we have always assumed that Orly Taitz was some kind of comic relief goober invented by the universe to break up droll news cycles, but apparently some people still somehow take her seriously! Not real people of course, just a screamy handful of Republican state legislators in New Hampshire, this time, who got so [...]
We began posting this Thanksgiving Prayer by William S. Burroughs back in 2006. And something weird has happened in the years since. The deadpan list of Bloody American Triumphs sounds less like sarcasm in our Terrible Year of the Lord 2010 2011, and more like an elegy.
The Pat Robertson teevee show has been desegregated, apparently by force, and now allows a Negress interviewer to interview “her kind” (Condoleezza Rice). What are the mysterious black people up to, this Thanksgiving? The hip-hop? Smokin’ crack? Crunking? Voodoo? Hankering for the Original Constitution days when they were slaves? No, worse. They are eating bizarre [...]
An actress who hilariously portrayed a representative from Bloomberg’s office during Saturday’s weaponized drum circle around the mayor’s mansion has been fired from her job at a marketing firm. Why? Eh, got to keep the people on edge. If everybody starts protesting, well, there would be fear and confusion in the corporate boardrooms!
Did Michele Bachmann share a sexy classified scoop about attacks on Pakistan’s nukular sites during last night’s GOP debate? Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?
Woaaaah, hey there! Here is a chilling video of Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska) giving himself an actual lobotomy in front of a C-SPAN camera, or maybe just suffering from severe constipation, or having an aneurysm, but in any case something pretty awful is going on with him because his eyes are so bulged out of [...]
