vpilf
Last night Sarah Palin flew back to her ice cave and gave a rousing address to her people on the snowy tundra. An Undercover Moosketeer Obamatard kindly snapped a few candid photos from the rally and sent them along. Here we have the vice-president-to-be in literally the only unflattering photograph we have ever seen of [...]
Guess who hasn’t been mentioned at all tonight? America’s favorite president, George W. Bush Junior! It’s as if Republicans haven’t held the White House for the past eight years. Who can remember that far back? So let’s welcome the new Geraldine Ferraro, “Barracuda Sarah” Palin — her own sister just called her that, on CNN [...]
McCAIN TRYING TO STEAL WONKETTE’S PAGE VIEWS: As your Wonkette staggers under the heavy load of a trillion people trying to find Sarah Palin pictures online, the evil anti-capitalist McCain Campaign is attempting to steal our precious web traffic with this Google Ad: “Sarah Palin Photos: Get Official Campaign Photos of Governor Sarah Palin Today! [...]
Besides her sudden disappearance from tonight’s RNC lineup, there are many other signs that Sarah Palin will be the first major-party veep nominee to drop off the ticket since George McGovern dumped Thomas Eagleton for being crazy, way back in 1972. What are the other chilling new signs of Snowbilly Loserdom?
Here is the story of how John McCain picked his running mate: after Barack Obama selected Joe Biden instead of Hillary Clinton, McCain went on a six-day Nyquil bender and at the end of it slurred, “Get me one of them wimmins.” He had always had his heart set on another salty warmonger like himself: [...]
Why did mean old John McCain ruin our favorite Klondike Snow Bunny’s happy life? It’s another day, which means it’s another day of embarrassing revelations about Alaskan Gov. Sarah Palin — last week she was America’s Hottest Governor, and this week she’s a disaster!
Poor Sarah Palin! We mean, “Sarah Palin lies everyday about everything!” In any case, our beloved junior governor from Alaska is now embroiled in so many snowbilly scandals that she’s probably not going to last through the week. Let’s start this fun new feature, about all the ways poor Sarah is about to be tossed [...]
SARAH PALIN’S EXTENSIVE MILITARY EXPERIENCE: From a McCain statement about Sarah Palin: “As the head of Alaska’s National Guard and as the mother of a soldier herself, Gov. Palin understands what it takes to lead our nation and she understands the importance of supporting our troops.” And under Palin’s leadership, the Alaskan National Guard has [...]
John McCain made a vice presidential choice, but no one knows her? Time to establish a complete waste-of-time TWITTER MEME in which one may use other INTERNET MEME JOKES to describe her. This is the most important Internet development since TUMBLR. Oh who are we kidding. We’re still getting over the lack of Mittens on [...]
Historians will always remember the day when the esteemed objective reporting bastion called Wonkette assured the nation that there was no fucking way Sarah Palin would ever be John McCain’s pick for vice president. Let’s look back at all the other times we wrote completely accurate and truthful things about Sarah Palin.
Yikes, the entire world is trying to read about Sarah Palin on Wonkette right now! So crazy. Anyway, our Alaskan GILF is now on stage and we’re liveblogging it. She’s a pretty girl, so we guess she’s qualified to be president! But good lord we did not realize she had such a squeaky voice.
