wa food
The New York Times did some superb journalism and wrote yet another article about how D.C. is all growed up! What did they focus on this time? That gay people live in D.C.? That a group of 20-somethings effectively run the government from their condos in Logan Circle? That white people live where black people [...]
Wednesday, December 8: Obama loved the D.C. restaurant scene and would devour our rich-people hamburgers and gourmet junk food whenever he could. But just because the new Obama doesn’t want to have anything more to do with the silly intellectuals who came to D.C. for him and created a city in his image doesn’t mean [...]
Oh goody! Even if most of the country is currently sitting on the edge of their seats, wondering if they’ll be able to afford Ramen or chickpeas for Christmas Dinner, at least self-gifting is on the rise in famed not-America Washington, D.C. Hooray! There really has never been a better time to be rich/want a [...]
Back in the day, the brave people who ate hot dogs in D.C. were only the tourists who purchased them from stands near the Mall, after a tiring day of erratically circling monuments and bumping into people. But these days are FINALLY over. While the rest of America is permanently starving/unemployed and chugs along on [...]
Wednesday, December 1: Because last week an ancient ex-Nazi declared that condoms are kinda sorta okay, this could very well be the BEST World AIDS Day ever. Congratulate AIDS on another successful year of causing much death by attending a cocktail benefit for the Whitman-Walker Clinic at the wine bar Urbana. Admission is $10 and [...]
Hanukkah/Chaunkkah, the ancient Hebrew celebration of Christmas, has decided to come early this year — which is strange because baby Jeebus’ birthday isn’t for another four weeks. Now Jews everywhere are going to be confused and will have to get in the Festive Spirit even though it doesn’t quite feel like Christmas yet. Oh, well. [...]
Let’s weigh your options for this Thanksgiving holiday: There’s either subjecting yourself to the TSA’s new fingering policy or NOT GOING ANYWHERE. If America’s Top Molesting Force is insisting that it’s necessary to see everybody naked, and forbidding the transport of cranberry sauce unless it’s out of reach of anal probing, then this is the [...]
It’s that special time of year when we all give thanks for 25% real unemployment, the never-ending real-estate collapse, terrible schools, broken infrastructure and a bunch of mouth-breathing cretins sticking their hands up Granny’s hoo-ha at the airport. And that means we should all gather around the oven and watch Aunt Wonkette make its world-famous [...]
Thursday, November 18 through Sunday, November 21: Provided you survive your touchy-feely airport experience, a week from today you will be eating cranberries from a can and watching teevee footage of large floats wandering the streets of New York, to give thanks for smallpox blankets and other Important things. Prepare for the Fun that is [...]
Maybe you’re not the type of person who enjoys the groping supplied by the porno-cancer scanners or its radiation-free alternative, the hot and heavy pat down. Maybe you reserve the look-y looks at your genitals for the nice people you meet at crowded, dark bars, as opposed to the TSA agents who come after you [...]
Hot Dogs: What’s the newest trend to come to D.C. that’s just as unhealthy as Slim Jims and Big Gulps, but that’s become gourmet-y and so acceptable? Hot dogs! There are now TWO, yes two, restaurants in D.C. that serve specialty hot dogs, and the newest one serves bacon wrapped all-beef hot dogs, deep fried [...]
It’s been a week now since the Great Shellacking of 2010, a night when librul Washingtonians refused to leave their homes and slept spooning their “Yes We Can” posters. Well, Obama managed to get his sad self off the couch for a trip to Asia, and Nancy Pelosi is working through her sadness by avoiding [...]
Friday, November 5: By December, hopefully, the country will have healed and Emo Obama will be willing to get up off the White House couch and go eat hamburgers somewhere so Washingtonians can gawk at him. Who knows. Either way, he and his family should be at the National Christmas Tree Lighting ceremony on December [...]
Wasn’t that fun, two years ago when everyone flooded the streets in sheer happiness after Obama won? Haha, we don’t think that’s going to happen this year! Oh no, this year’s results are too devastating for Washingtonian libruls, who are probably just going to lock themselves in their homes, pout, and watch reruns of the 2008 [...]
