WALNUTS
Oh, America, what will we do without our Long National Election Nightmare? We’ll do what we always do: Gossip, “scoops,” Joe Biden gaffes, etc. Joe Lieberman! That will be funny, whatever happens to old anus-face. And we’ve already lost so many seemingly irreplaceable human jokes, and it turned out that they were all immediately forgettable, [...]
Here’s your favorite unstable old man right where he wants to be, atop a pile of headlines predicting a pretty solid 6%+ Obama win in the popular vote, plus an extra thousand electoral votes. [Politics Home]
ENDORSEMENTS: Your editor endorses John McCain, for president, of America. [AOL Political Machine]
If there’s one thing nutty klanslady Sarah Palin is a-scared of, it is the Communist Threat. (And Katie Couric.) While there is no evidence of an actual communist country on Earth outside of, say, Cuba and … let’s see, that child army of Marxists or whatever in Nepal, it is still highly probable that a [...]
Let us go where we always go during our Times of National Crisis: to the wingnut comments of our nation’s proud conservative blogs. These people were obviously very angry last night about how this Negroid Monster Obama Staffer nearly murdered the brave 20-year-old white gal from Texas who was working the McCain phone banks in [...]
John McCain won’t speak at his “Victory Party” on Election Night, the AP just reported. Instead, he’ll “deliver postelection remarks to a small group of reporters and guests on the hotel’s lawn.” Really? This is what your campaign announces 10 days before the election? That you’re such a furious loser that you’ve decided, in advance, [...]
Are the McCain-Palin people even aware that Tina Fey is making fun of them, all the time? Oh, wait … this is a magazine cover from 2004. Which still doesn’t make any sense. Why, in 2004, did the editors of this (obviously now defunct) magazine decide that the best illustration of the Kerry-Bush race was [...]
SHIFTY EYES, TOO: “Since September, McCain has lost ground on nearly every quality tested in the poll, including lower scores for being likable, decisive, honest, competent, intelligent and inspiring.” [AP-YAHOO]
Do we have to watch this? All the way through? Tragically, the answer is Yes. We must all watch John McCain say “I screwed up” to a late-night comedy host.
We don’t really talk about the “comedy” around here because, come on, we are already writing about Sarah Palin every day, for real. But this is kind of cute. This Hayden Panettiere was in D.C. earlier this year, saving the whales. Now she is just cold hatin’ on the old crazy person who wants to [...]
Walnuts is re-launching his campaign for the millionth time, hurrah! Today he unveils a new speech, full of humor and zest and “my friends” and transparent falsehoods like, “we’ve got them just where we want them,” because yes, six months ago if you had asked John McCain where he wanted to be 21 days from [...]
