WALNUTS
Remember politics between all of 1998 and 2008? For the few of you who do (nerds), you may gasp at this epic mindfuck of a new John “WALNUTS!” McCain admission: he denies being the media version of John McCain, “The Maverick.” If the John McCain we knew isn’t the real John McCain, then he must [...]
Lurching worm-beast John McCain found a new thing to yell at today! He’s just stuck down at the end of the hall, barking at his cell phone and demanding that staffers “fix the goddamn door that used to be here,” and of course there’s no door, and no staffers either … just one of those [...]
A pathetic, amoral piece of garbage who is utterly terrified of losing his fat-cat Senate privileges, that’s John McCain: “I believe we must repeal this bill immediately. I am currently working in every way possible on your behalf to accomplish this. However, I am facing a tough reelection campaign. If I am not reelected this [...]
Angry old idiot John “Walnuts!” McCain is probably going to lose his beloved Senate seat this year and then be forced to actually live in Arizona, which he hates, so he’s even more desperate and crazy than usual. What kind of maverick-y bullshit stunt can he pull to remind Arizona voters just how shamelessly he’ll [...]
The funniest part is that he thinks he needs more than three minutes of speaking time. Most people can clock in even a significantly belabored “HEHNGNN?” in under two seconds. (Also, sometimes laws are passed that set a policy and then grant the relevant department/agency a certain amount of time to implement them, after which [...]
John McCain, who loves town halls so much that one time last summer he ORDERED Barack Obama to appear with him at 7,000 of them (and hopefully pay for them!), has “gone librul” again, now that his own party’s official anti-health reform strategy is to piss all over his favorite “American tradition” throughout August with [...]
O Holy Day, look what just dropped in ye olde “Wonkett” tips box! Cougs is back for more: “Will you follow this link to sign the birthday card? There’s even a special space to leave a personal message of encouragement for John. After you’ve signed the card, I hope you’ll make a generous contribution to [...]
The super-dumb full-of-shit jingoistic Magic 8-Ball known as “John McCain’s twatbot” crapped this out today: “America has been and remains the greatest force for good in history.” Eric Spiegelman wonders why John McCain is pissing on Christ’s grave. [Bus Your Own Tray]
How deeply must you despise your former running mate — the person you wanted America to accept as a perfectly good and safe president-in-waiting, just a few months ago — to be unable to fake a quick “Sure I support her” on a Sunday news-chat show? Here’s Old Walnuts McCain utterly unable to answer a [...]
This fantastic McCain Campaign fire sale doesn’t just provide gadgets and office supplies on the cheap — you can also buy enough Republican VIP personal information and incriminating emails to run your own failed presidential run! Local teevee station Fox 5 sent somebody over to the Everything Must Go sale, and while most of the [...]
The news has decided to stop today, because Thanksgiving is tomorrow. So uh here is a video clip from when was it, the other day, when John McCain gave his first press conference since the Presidential election. Once again we must remark on how much more relaxed and normal-seeming he is now that he no [...]
