war on christmas
The video after the jump is from yesterday, but, eh, nobody here was live-blogging it, so you chumps probably haven’t heard about it, so we could tell you it was from today and you’d never know! Anyway, watch an exquisitely bored Lindsey Graham ask Elena Kagan “where [she] was at on Christmas Day,” then watch [...]
Saturday, December 12 through Sunday, December 13: Dance as if you just got rejected and are stuck to the floor because there’s beer all over it. That’s what the Jane Franklin Dance company will be doing in their show The Floor is Sticky, which combines poetry, spoken word and theater. Modern dance is fascinating.
The sheeple will believe anything: “The Christmas tree at the [Tennessee] state Capitol will be replaced after being toppled by high winds overnight. The blue spruce, which had stood on Charlotte Avenue between the Capitol and Legislative Plaza, fell sometime before 4 a.m., snapping off the top, said Kenny Crowson, facilities supervisor at the Capitol.” [...]
Fast-track that resolution, Boner! A Hill operative sends us this photo and writes, “The War on Christmas is alive and well in the House of Representatives. This Christmas tree was seen discarded on the 2nd floor of the Longworth House Office Building.” Oh that’s no Christmas tree, just an aborted tree fetus. But why is [...]
Vulgar leather smoking jacket John Boehner does not believe in Congress WASTING ITS TIME on meaningless resolutions, and so it makes sense that he has now introduced the most meaningful House Resolution of the current Congress: H.R. 951, the resolution to save Christmas from the Jews, Atheists, Aliens, and other Democrats and Nobamas.
West Coast Xmas warrior operative “Katrina” sends this photo from a fancy dollar store in Portland, Oregon, which just so happens to be the epicenter of the entire War on Christmas. Here we have all the greatest gifts for children and adults and robots alike, and all for one dollar: stacks of Lou Dobbs’ book, [...]
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]
It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs are going to be particularly deadly until January 3 or so, as Republican congresspeople and their drunken wives and rent boys wreak havoc on the icy suburban streets. Congratulations to Charlene Lugar, wife of Republican Senator Dick Lugar, for winning the “First of the Season” [...]
Ever go to a quaint marketplace in Mexico or Morocco or maybe some flea market in a sports arena parking lot on Sunday morning and haggle over the myriad gewgaws? That is what shopping in America will be like, next year! Or maybe right now. With 148,000 retail store closures in 2008 and another 73,000 [...]
Congratulations, the War on Xmas is over. And guess who lost? Christmas! And the economy. Especially the economy. Looks like all the 70%-off sales in the world can’t squeeze money out of people with no money and no credit. It’s almost as if Santa left a lump of shit coal for U.S. Retailers! How many [...]
By the Comics CurmudgeonHey, everybody, have you heard about the economies? Of course, your Wonkette staffers spend their days luxuriating in the well-appointed, mahogany-trimmed, Campbell Brown-subsidized Wonkette HQ, but we are given to understand that things in the outside world aren’t going so great, money-wise! In fact, this li’l economic downturn has even affected Christmas, [...]
Finally. The children are nestled in stockings or whatever, asleep, and Christmas 2008 is over, and hopefully it was all right — jesus fucking christ and hopefully it did not go as horrifically wrong as this, or this, and what were we talking about again? Where is the bottle, of whisky? Let’s have a nice [...]
