war on christmas
“Members of a church in Kansas City, Ks., are protesting the secularization of Christmas by dressing like Jesus at their jobs, malls and restaurants.” (This is how they would dress regardless.) [Fox News, Blogslut]
Oh hi, people. This is your holiday editor of the day, wishing you good seasons &c. It is too bad your editor’s fucking plane can’t get to Portland (Oregon), ever, so he is back home again, where there is also a new blizzard, and many feet of tragic snow! Hope your holiday travels worked out [...]
Here they are, the two leaders of the Free World, exchanging a sexy “knuckle bump” under the new White House Christmas Tree. No wonder the transition to the Obama Administration is going so smoothly … these two were in on it. [White House]
Still sad because False Unicorn Barack Obama won’t legalize it? Here’s heroic Texan Willie Nelson, dressed as the Angel Mohammad, bringing the gift of ganja to the Baby Jesus. This is apparently from a Stephen Colbert Christmas Special (?!), so Happy Xmas. [High Times]
There is no finer Yuletide tradition than kidnapping or decapitating the hated Baby Jesus dolls put out in public at this time of year by the very people who would be most upset by the kidnapping or decapitation of Baby Jesus dolls. It is a terrible outrage, this thing that happens every year, everywhere. Let’s [...]
You know who that presumptuous half-breed muslin Barack Obama doesn’t compare himself to nearly enough? Our greatest president, Richard Nixon! Celebrate the season with this creepy recording from the good old days. [YouTube/Pareene]
Here’s your favorite Xmas-card Congresslady, Loretta Sanchez, riding a hovercraft on her new horrible Christmas Card, paid for by the proud donors to Sanchez ’68 Forever, LLC. While nothing will ever top the “Pet the Cat” card from, what, 2006?, we can all be proud that an actual congressperson is sending this stuff out to [...]
Look at this creep, with his terrorist beard. His name is legion, or “Sinter Klass,” which means Karl Marx, because this is a photograph of the grave of the unrepentant Marxist, Karl Marx. Even his name is Marxist. An Australian person has written these words: “First, Father Christmas is a dead ringer for the Father [...]
Oh look what your editor stumbled upon, yesterday, while researching the George W. Bush Jr. Xmas Gift Guide: It’s Florida Erection, the cult-classic homosexual pornography telling of the 2000 recount in Florida! Here, from the cover copy: “Hundreds of cum-drenched ballots are ignored by Florida Secretary of State Harris (Lana Luster) when she declares George [...]
FIVE-DOLLAR GEORGE W. BUSH GIFT GUIDE: “Nothing says Kwanzaa, or ‘good will,’ like choosing a cheap, mean George W. Bush-themed trinket for your idiot relatives who actually voted for that clown.” [AOL Political Machine]
Well isn’t this beautiful? No? Right, it’s a design disaster. Maybe Photoshop should require an Operator’s License with annual testing. That would create jobs! Anyway, here is your latest Wonkette War On Xmas gift suggestion, this terrible fucking plate, which looks like it should be the hubcap of a blinged-out compact car with those gay [...]
Friends and enemies, it is time to put aside our irrevocable partisan differences and unite in the pursuit of inexpensive yet offensive X-mas/Kwanzaa/Ramadan/Channukah/Jedi gifts for our few friends and many enemies. In these troubled times of National Doom, you want a present that is a) cheap, and b) either wonderful or truly horrific. But the [...]
HELP WONKETTE WITH OUR ANNUAL WAR ON XMAS GIFT GUIDE! We are almost done with this year’s Gift Guide, but we need your suggestions (with links) to actually, er, help us type it up. Email your real true fun/terrible Wonkette gift ideas with the subject line SANTA HURTED ME. Special insider editor talk after the [...]
