washington
Yes, yes, yes, Washington, DC is very sad because we’re about to be overrun with racist loonies who worship a pudgy weirdo who worships space monsters. But before the crazies shuffle onto their tour buses and make their way into our city’s safest areas, we have local politics to focus upon, namely the election for [...]
Washington, D.C. looks, like, super-depressed about having to host this weekend’s Glenn Beck’s Lard-Baby Rally & Hate Festival, you guys. When it saw that junky “Restoring Honor” stage banner thingie go up, it felt really embarrassed and even kind of distraught, you know? So it went all gray and overcast. Didn’t feel like sunshining. Seemed [...]
As threatened, both Washington and Wyoming went ahead with their primary elections yesterday. Washington didn’t surprise anybody because it is boring; in Wyoming, the nominations of Republican Matt Mead and Democrat Leslie Peterson for governor surprised everyone, because nobody had heard of any of the candidates before and thus any name would have been a [...]
Oh, God, can you even believe that more primaries are happening? When will America’s suffering end? Today’s victims are in Washington state and Wyoming. Washington has a savage, out-of-control “jungle primary” that will almost certainly result incumbent Democratic Senator Patty Murray facing off against Republican Dino Rossi, who lost the last two gubernatorial races. In [...]
Here’s a tour of the neighborhood — good stuff and bad alike — by Adams Morgan community organizer Bryan Weaver. It’s a ripoff of a much funkier homage to a famous old Paul Wellstone spot, but Weaver worked for Wellstone so it’s kosher … unlike Weaver’s kids, who appear to speak Spanish. Anyway, this wins [...]
Free Washington Metro Station paper The Politico exists for one reason: To sell advertising to D.C. lobbying firms and interest groups so that D.C. government professionals will see the ads while flipping through the tabloid on the way to work. “Oh,” the cubicle-bound factotum with the graduate degree in public policy will mumble to him/herself [...]
Guess what was prancing around the people’s Rose Garden during Barack Obama’s press conference about Wall Street reform yesterday? A little brown invader! This mouse arrogantly taunted the White House press corps while scoping out new places to deposit some anthrax-infused poop pellets. And nobody did anything to stop him, because showing leniency toward our [...]
How do we know this special-people rally is going to be super special? The organizer wants you to “bring your birth certificates.” YEAH THAT’LL SHOW KENYAN JOE! See you there at the Ellipse! Don’t forget your misspelled signs with the “GO BAK 2 AFERKA,” etc. [Thanks to Wonkette operative "LimeyLizzie"]
Sorry, Washington DC! Maybe you can have a voting member of Congress if there’s ever a black president or something. Steny Hoyer announced this afternoon that the House won’t vote on the DC voting-rights bill because the National Rifle Association got its bullshit attached to the legislation, thanks to wingnuts in Congress. [Washington Post/Roll Call]
Your Wonkette will be all over town today, taking pictures and carrying signs and just cold goin’ nuts, for Liberty! We also invite you to send whatever crazy pictures, videos, whatever. This is exactly like that day when the British torched the White House, so make sure to Twitter about it, to the Library of [...]
On this glorious morning in DC, the first legal weddings of the homosexuals took place. Hooray! And all thanks to Supreme Court Chief Justice John “Gay” Roberts, who so loves his people that he didn’t overturn the local law or call for mass arrests or appoint George W. Bush president. About a hundred couples are [...]
Wonkette comrade Matt Welch tried to get across Logan Circle so he could buy, uh, dishwasher detergent at Whole Foods. Super snowy out there! Never forget! [YouTube]
Ha ha, those old people had to stay at work until 1 a.m. this morning after being stuck in the smelly old Senate for the entire snowbound weekend, and now Health Care Reform is just another three 60-vote procedural operations from becoming a real true Senate law the House can screw up. YIPPEE!
The D.C. City Council has finally passed its bill to legalize gay marriage, hooray! Mayor Fenty is expected to sign it soon. HOWEVER, while Father Congress is not expected to go all “Home Rule” and block this sucker, we’re about 99.9% sure that one congressman or another representing some salty swamp in the middle of [...]
The world’s most crime-ridden capitol city, dirty old rat-filth Washington DC, won another hospitality award last night when the 22-year-old daughter of Senator Bob Corker (R-TN) got carjacked and thrown to the street by a couple of thugs. She’s okay, and police found both her Chevy Tahoe and “two suspects” in Maryland, but jesus. Last [...]
