• February 14, 2012

washington’s birthday

GEORGE WASHINGTON

He’ll Kick You Apart

by Ken Layne

11:15 am February 16, 2009

Remember your greatest first president, in style! Play it for your kids, or your parents, and Never Forget the Father of Your Country, as presented by the great Austin-American artist Brad Neely, on a teevee show at some point? Happy Presidents Day. (DO NOT TURN UP THE SPEAKERS AT WORK UNLESS YOU HAVE A SPECIAL [...]

MEET THE PRESIDENTS

George Washington Guilty of Everything

by Ken Layne

8:35 am February 16, 2009

It’s the Presidents’ Day Sale Day, of course, which is why you’re not at work reading Wonkette. But experts say the federal holiday is actually to remember one of the first American presidents, George Washington. Let’s remember the good times and the bad, like when his 300 African slaves tried to kill his wife.

GEORGE WASHINGTON

by Ken Layne

12:52 am February 16, 2009

PLUS THAT GIANT STONE PHALLUS: “Was this man, George Washington, truly our greatest president? No, not at all! Most historians put him in the ‘Top 50,’ at best. But he was the first president, of America, and for that we honor his service to our country.” [AOL Political Machine]