white house
Facebook ‘Likes’ To ‘Friend’ Robert Gibbs (Facebook Hiring Robert Gibbs)
by Ken Layne
What does a powerful, immense global online network worth $60 billion need more than anything? A cozy voice in the White House! That’s why Facebook is reportedly hiring Barack Obama’s former spokesman and best buddy Robert Gibbs. The ex-White House press secretary will make “millions of dollars” in salary and stock, according to the New [...]
Even when you have the power to bomb pretty much anything at will, you can still be humbled now and again! (This door will be bombed. Its family will be bombed. The forest it came from will be bombed. Everyone it ever liked will be bombed, and its enemies will enjoy riches and an easy [...]
Remember when Barack Obama couldn’t go two hours without a press conference or a speech or an appearance somewhere? Now he just hides in his bunker doing NCAA brackets and sexting the Republicans in Congress, but he will supposedly pop his head of the hole and see his nuclear shadow any second now (he’s 15 [...]
Guess who turned out to be the biggest asshole in the world? Your boyfriend, Barack Obama. The latest outrage in the Bradley Manning situation involves Obama’s direct involvement in the firing of State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley — because Crowley committed the sin of condemning the torture and abuse of U.S. Army Private Bradley Manning, [...]
Glenn Beck’s Website Reveals NPR Lunch Video Was Edited To Ruin NPR
by Ken Layne
Whenever that James O’Keefe guy puts out another heavily edited video against some liberal bogeyman, both the White House and the Washington/New York media quickly fire everyone involved — because the only rational way to deal with claims made by partisan pranksters is to simply punish anyone targeted. That’s why Shirley Sherrod was immediately fired [...]
According to TPM’s Ryan J. Reilly, a police officer at the scene said this Muslim man shows up at the White House “every couple days” to pray. That was lucky for anti-Sharia protestors who were there and couldn’t find any Muslims to yell at.
Joe Biden Requests White House Photograph Him In Kinky Voyeur Style
by Jack Stuef
Disgusting. [Twitter]
Alright, you knuckle-biting asshandlers, it’s time for your favorite Pulitzer Prize-winning kolumn to return with a sexy vengeance! Yes, fapping masses, your weekly investigative report/breathless Obamarrr fanfic installment is back. I’ve been busy traveling to tell jokes and do filthy things with your D.C.-based Wonketteers (and also Jim Newell.) Here is what Muamarbama Barackfi did [...]
Workers Nationwide Fighting For Labor Rights; Barack Obama Invisible
by Ken Layne
Hey, leftists and liberals and Democrats, remember a couple of years ago how super-excited you were about Barack Obama, the Chicago community organizer? Nobody really expected unicorns and a fair tax burden for the richest of the rich, but we were enthusiastic, right? Barack Obama has remained completely invisible during the intense labor battles raging [...]
It’s not easy being the president during a sustained industrial/economic collapse! But Barack Obama bravely went to Willy Wonka’s munitions factory somewhere in Ohio or someplace, and then Barack Obama did a bad thing and tried the Every Flavor Dinner Gum, which includes “fried fat curds,” which are against Michelle Obama’s rules, so the crazy [...]
Hello! Would you like to know what your President Mahmoud Barack Hussein Al-Bama did this week? Well, this column will tell you everything in vast, accurate detail, based on Official White House Videographer Arun Chaudhary’s weekly pornographic Inter-tubes serial. But let us imagine instead that you would perhaps be more interested in a WEST WING [...]
America hasn’t had much in the way of an environmentalist president since Richard Nixon and before that Theodore Roosevelt, so we weren’t exactly expecting Barack Obama to do anything bold or visionary when it came to such unimportant things as the air we breathe and the water we drink and the Earth we live upon. [...]
Secret Best Friends Barack Obama and Ralph Fiennes Phone Transcript 05/19
by Jack Stuef
Wonkette is releasing its latest government leak, an official White House transcript of a phone conversation between President Barack Obama and the actor Ralph Fiennes that took place in the Oval Office beginning at 9:36 pm on May 19, 2010. The subject of the call: saving the world.
We did it, you guys! We defeated Robert Gibbs with our restless coverage of his LEGO-based terrorism when there was nothing else to write about last week! Yes, Mr. Robert Lane Gibbs, famed White House press secretary, is leaving the White House forever, to go work in an actual building like an actual professional member [...]
Obamas Spend Holidays With College A Capella Groups, Worshipping Dog
by Jack Stuef
Thanks to Jackie Kennedy being hott that one time she lived there, the White House is supposed to be a place of well-decorated holiday majesty at this time of year. But the Obamas are ruining it by hanging out with singing asthmatic white college guys and forcing everyone around to worship their horrifyingly faceless dog, [...]
