Person for whom there are no more nicknames Michele Bachmann is teaming up with the #1 asshole in Congress, Iowa’s Steve King, to throw “a big party” on the National Mall this Thursday against health care reform, the worst idea since 9/11 and, before that, the Holocaust. Also on the “worst guest list you can imagine” guest list are Betsy McCaughey, Jon Voight, and Mark Levin of National Review. As best we can interpret, the “idea” is for wingnuts nationwide to travel to Washington, get loaded on free kegs of cat piss, and then go yell at every member of Congress about freedom and liberty. What a steal! MORE »

Operative “Sam G.” sends us this gritty look at his “political Halloween costume,” of the popular Internet picture that launched 1,000 ships. His Internet friends will get it! If you like the idea of dressing as a wingnut Internet picture, this is your year! MORE »

It’s such fun to watch the wingnuts as they try to wrap their collective mind around the concept of a “moderate Republican” candidate, that endangered species of ancient lore, emerging from the Snowy North. They quickly spurned this GOP candidate, Dede Scozzafava — who from now on shall be referred to as “Scuzzlebutt,” because we’re sick of constantly having to look up the spelling of her last name — in the NY-23 special election in favor of some “neighbor” candidate for the Conservative Party, and their theses of hatred for Scuzzlebutt continue to mount. MORE »

Would anyone mind if the Washington Post just declared Bill Donohue, President of the Catholic League, the winner of the amateur pundit talent show immediately? Donohue was a “guest voice” yesterday on Jon Meacham and Sally Quinn’s religion thing, in which he heroically thought of this one alliteration: “America’s Secular Saboteurs.” He’s like, “The culture war is up for grabs. The good news is that religious conservatives continue to breed like rabbits, while secular saboteurs have shut down: they’re too busy walking their dogs, going to bathhouses and aborting their kids. Time, it seems, is on the side of the angels.” But like actually. MORE »

Just filled with buckets and buckets of satire! “2011 Obama’s Coup Fails is an action packed, satire-filled war game that takes place in the not-so-distant future. Right after the November 2010 election, to be precise. It has been said that America would never be destroyed by a foreign power. It does seem our biggest enemies are not from outside our borders. Could the scenario described above ever really happen? If current events keep transpiring as they are, then 2011 Obama’s Coup may in fact become a dark chapter in American History.” MORE »

[A new annual Wonkette tradition starts today, to honor Columbus Day: re-posting this thing Editor Ken Layne wrote last year about history's greatest American, Christopher Columbus. It is the definitive historical account. You can read all of your comments from last year, and then make new comments! -- Ed. Jim]

Christopher Columbus, which means “Our Lord’s Anus” in Portuguese, was a famous wingnut racist who didn’t even know where he came from, but he was hired by a shadowy cabal of Spaniards and the Knights Templar to find an easier route to the emerging economies of Communist China, because the Islamo-Fascists had blown up the highway to Afghanistan! MORE »

A bunch of you have sent us a link to this painting by a fellow named Jon McNaughton, depicting the divine event that took place during the hot Philadelphia summer of 1787, when Jeebus flew to America from his ice cave on Pluto to deliver the U.S. Constitution to some brat before an in-studio audience consisting of George Washington, Mister Hollywood, Liberal News Reporter, Satan, and others. “Jon McNaughton would like to set the record straight,” we read. MORE »

“Trent Franks” is some degenerate sad sack who had two options: become a celebrated onomatopoeic actor in pornographic films, or run for Congress in Arizona. At random, he chose the latter option, and thank goodness he did, because now America has been given FAIR WARNING that its President, Barack Obama, is an “enemy of humanity.” So THIS is whom we are Taking America Back From: its President. Frank Franks Sex Trenton or whatever will not stand for this, no sir! MORE »

Treachery! The wingnuts have a new thing to type about: “We now have solid confirmation that the communist government of China did in fact raise their flag above Washington, DC for the first time this past Sunday, September 20, 2009.” Obama, OPEN YOUR EYES! “The communist government of China now owns a great deal of US debt and factions of their military threaten to launch a nuclear strike against the United States over possible conflicts involving our allies in Taiwan. They used to only be able to threaten to destroy the west coast of America, but due to the theft of our two stage missile technology, during the Clinton administration, China now has the nuclear, biological, and chemical weapons and delivery systems to attack every major city in the United States.” These strikes will of course happen tonight, during Jay Leno or whatever, because of the flag thing. [WorldNetDaily, ALIPAC]

Hooray, it’s time to indoctrinate the school children at the government-run anti-choice public school-prisons. But how will we best teach these weak lumps of young shit how to be Nazi-Socialists for the Black Panthers? WITH THE TEEVEE, obvs. And that’s why the no-good Hawaiian-Chicago street hustler, Barry Nobama, will speak to the childrens on the closed circuit today, old school, and of course oh good gravy there are some WHITE folks who heard about this, and they are not so happy about a common African Slave telling kids to “stay in school.” Look what happens when black kids stay in school and go to Harvard and all that …. BLAM, black dude is president. Not good. MORE »

In the secret quiet of labor Day Weekend, the White House fired black person Van Jones, who had some administration position related to “green jobs.” The White House confirmed that Jones was out “early Sunday,” which is right now. Why did this Van Jones get axed? Because wingnuts were angry about …. MORE »