wingnuts
So what sorts of hobbies are America’s agitated olds taking up these days when they are not busy surfing the apocalypse survival kit and Bible sale ads on Newsmax? Plotting mass murder, it turns out. Yeesh. When did soothing naps go out of style? The FBI arrested four seniors in Georgia Tuesday for allegedly using [...]
Even tense fringe hillbillies like Terry Jones have clued into the fact that there’s money to be made off a long-shot Republican presidential run this time around owing to the fact that the weepy, undecided GOP base is full of hungry fear junkies who’ll immediately trade campaign donations in exchange for their frenzy fix faster [...]
Some misguided wingnut (whoops, that’s a redunderancy there!) thought that the most critical entertainment items to mail all the way overseas to a bunch of U.S. troops stationed in Bumblefuck, Afghanistan were a couple boxes of crazed loofah-humper Bill O’Reilly’s book Pinheads and Patriots, presumably on the assumption that soldiers would enjoy masturbating to O’Reilly’s noxious [...]
As infamous walking cue-ball “Joe the Plumber” proved in 2008, America is top-loaded with dubiously employed gasbag wingnuts who believe they are the economic equals of the Koch Brothers. Each near-bankrupt sole proprietor of a drywall-hanging home-based business that hasn’t had any work since 2007 is now threatening to “stop job creation” because of the [...]
The fringe end of the Jesus people spectrum is still sore about the unholy existence of patron witch-saint Christine O’Donnell’s annual demonic pagan sex party “Halloween,” so they are heroically promoting a hilarious/doomed Internet campaign to put the “Jesus” back in “Ween” this October 31st. Everyone celebrate “Jesus Ween,” for the kids! Oh sure, it [...]
The Onion put out a series of “breaking news” tweets narrating an escalating Capitol Hill hostage situation perpetrated by Republican members of Congress (GET IT??), which the Capitol Police decided to treat as actionable cause for TOTAL PANIC because “satire” is not covered in the police training manual. Hooray, Earth is now sentenced to have [...]
A secret plan by the New World Order to kill off America’s most dangerous people, the Texans, is moving forward as an actual law now that the Texas House of Representatives has approved an 85mph speed limit in the nation’s second most populous state. Cloaked experts from the Council of Malthusian Relations announced from their [...]
One thing American God hates nearly as much as poor people and minorities is some liberalz sneaking a Koran inside His national cathedral, which is apparently what happened, and which is also the legal reason (according to the Patriot Act) why God struck the East Coast with a terrible, humiliating earthquake that also toppled His [...]
Allen West is no friend to Muslims, and he will not apologize for this. He has spent far too many hours researching listening to strange lectures about the great Muslim conspiracy against America to reflect or change his mind at this point. Even so, the Council on American-Islamic Relations rolled its eyes recently and thought, [...]
Dinosaur Wars 2011 brings you this update from Gainesville, Florida, where creationist wingnuts are attacking the vehicles of University of Florida biology professors with religious pamphlets and rusty nails, because that’s how you formulate an argument if you’re an idiot. Or… we don’t know, maybe it’s secretly clever, because these individual specimens are among the [...]
Did right-wing hate blogs make the Norwegian psychopath kill all those people? No, of course not. But when violent crazy people have a “safe place” (the right-wing hate Web) to spout their vile hatred and violent fantasies alongside a bunch of other dingbat people who despise various ethnicities and cultures, the situation certainly isn’t helped. [...]
Nobody knows what’s really going on in Oslo or at the holiday camp island in Norway where a bombing and a shooting have left many people dead, but it’s always safe for American Idiots on the Internet to jump in with a suspect (“Muslims”) and a verdict (“guilty”) and a list of co-conspirators (“Obama and [...]
