witches
Regretful teen-aged witch Christine O’Donnell has endorsed bland gazillionaire flip-flopper Mitt Romney — or, to the Newt Gingrich campaign, Mitt Romney the cultist. Why endorse Mitt? According to O’Donnell’s appearance on CNN this morning, it’s because “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Uhh.
We get several hundred emails a week from Gary Johnson’s presidential campaign begging us to go on some “blogger call” or another to hear Gary Johnson discuss his favorite jogging apps or mandatory marijuana for third graders or whatever, but we have largely ignored him because, eh, there can be ONLY ONE TRUE libertarian in [...]
Poor little witch girl Christine O’Donnell never has any money. It sucks, because you need money to do stuff, like pay rent or buy ladybug costumes. So Christine figured out she could just run for various political offices she’ll never ever win, and then old wingnuts who “think she’s cute” will send her money, which [...]
Many tried to top the Epic Comedy of Christine O’Donnell’s actual political commercial about being a witch, but only one brave man could approach the occult pathos of the Delaware Masturbation Witch’s official campaign advertisements, and that was this guy. Who else made us ashamed in 2010? Oh pretty much everybody, but these six videos [...]
Rejoice, Wonketeers, for Halloween is nearly upon us! In keeping with the spirit of this sexy witch-burning holiday, Wonkette World o’ Books is going to try something a bit different this week. Instead of reviewing one shameful/inept book, we’ll simply recommend a few different books, none of them explicitly about politics but all helpful in [...]
Who is mackin’ on Christine O’Donnell here in this crappy bar somewhere with Philadelphia Eagles posters on the fake paneling? Why is she rocking the “sexy insect” costume? Didn’t she know Halloween is for Witches? Well, whatever masturbating happened on this night was of the “mutual” variety, according to the anonymous author of this Gawker [...]
Delaware masturbation witch and constitutional scholar Christine O’Donnell finally did another teevee interview! It is super boring, but we’ll post it just in case you (like most Americans) have a lot of time on your hands. Better to watch a dull ABC News interview with jobless sex activist Christine O’Donnell rather than let your idle [...]
Not bad for two weeks late, and having an unlimited budget, and a live audience and a bunch of stoned people watching on the teevee! Not bad, but still not nearly as good as this guy.
Yes, yes, yes, way too many people are making “I’m You” parodies of Satanic meatball Christine O’Donnell’s Delaware Witch Project commercial, but some of them are worthy of 30 seconds of your time, right? What else are you going to do with that time, today? Look for a job, on Friday afternoon before a three-day [...]
Espionage heroine Christine O’Donnell took a break from dabbling in witchcraft and eating meatballs and not masturbating to get some super secret classified data from China! And what has she learned from analyzing these documents from Beijing? The Heathen Chinaman is about to invade America!! It’s a terrible burden, to know what’s going to happen [...]
Sexy Delaware sorceress Christine O’Donnell went on Sean Hannity’s teevee program to announce that although she’s been a promiscuous media whore her entire life, Jesus told her just yesterday that national teevee interviews are sinful and lusty. Perhaps one day Christine O’Donnell will return to television, to give an interview to her wizard-groom, thus consummating [...]
Do you remember, a few days ago, when we MADE UP A COMEDIC STORY implying that Christine O’Donnell practices witchcraft? (It was a masturbation joke, somehow, like most mid-September jokes about Christine O’Donnell.) Well, guess what? Christine O’Donnell was actually a witch! But she didn’t “join a coven,” she says, in actual video from the [...]
Sometimes we actually read the Politico “Morning Score” email (we know, we know) and today there’s a funny secret GOP-to-Politico communication within the usual pile of conventional wisdom and links to Politico stories. About nutty fraud Christine O’Donnell’s miraculous win last night, a “Republican reader” (Karl Rove) asked, “Is this what S.C. Dems felt like [...]
So once upon a time in a small town in Kenya, people kept having a lot of car accidents. A local pastor named Thomas Muthee of course blamed a “demonic influence” for this problem where people crashed their cars into each other, and some lady had to leave town before everybody killed her to death [...]
