Wolf Blitzer
Despite no threats or evidence that there might be any threats in the near future, the FBI still needs DCers to feel threatened during Inauguration Week. [DC Examiner] The tickets to the Inauguration Parade, during which Barry will hijack a car and drive off with Mandy Pepperidge forever, sold out in a minute flat. [WTOP] [...]
“Alright, uh, there she is, Jessica Yellin, I know you’re in Chicago but we’ve uhhh done something, a hologram. We beamed you in. We beamed you in, here, uhh into the CNN Election Center. I want to talk to you as I would normally be talking to you if you were really face-to-face with me. [...]
If you were watching CNN around 7:15 ET then you saw this frightening hologram beast named “Jessica Yellin” appear from the planet Saturn to talk about, uh, Obama and the elections. So… who the hell greenlit this? BILL BENNETT? [Philadelphia Examiner]
Time flies when you’re getting jabbered at by a lightly furred ballsack! Wolf Blitzer has apparently been hosting CNN’s Late Edition for ten wonderful years, and this Sunday America will get to enjoy two whole hours of decadent Blitzerian retrospectives. Relive Wolf’s proudest Journalistic Moments, after the jump.
