xmas
A creepy old priest-king clad in Prada slippers, flowing robes of silken embroidery and an enormous bejeweled golden hat warned Christians that the true meaning of Christmas was being lost to a sinful pursuit of “glitter.”
How many days until Christmas? Just 358 days! Oh man, next Xmas is gonna punish, especially if we get Mike Huckabee’s dream gift, which is a box of 1,000 copies of his Xmas book, signed by Jesus and pooped out by reindeer over Iowa. Thanks to “Kevin H.” for the funny bookstore picture.
Hooray, at exactly 12:47 p.m., it is Winter Solstice! Look outside. Does it look “wintry”? Congratulations, that is how it is supposed to look. And because it’s the shortest day of the year, go ahead and start drinking now. Perfectly legal! [National Geographic, Annapolis Capital]
Let’s put aside the “commercialization of the War On Xmas” and thank our loya jirga of advertisers, who make possible the continued existence of your Wonkette: Barack and Michelle: Portrait of an American Marriage, Harper Collins’ HarperHolidays.com, Her Fearful Symmetry, Siemens, What’s My Pee Telling Me, weekly news magazine THE WEEK, Land’s End, Steve Berry’s [...]
So sad, this Christmastime. Last year, we could still sort of laugh. That fancy Barack Obama had won the presidency, after all. Maybe we would, uhh, weather the storm? Come back stronger?! Well, sorry about that. But it’s the Season of Xmas, and we’ve got a super special selection of cheap-ass unwanted “America-themed” old-pantyhose stuffers [...]
Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]
Oh lord, what is happening here? Is the Elephant Man in the flower-print pillow-case mask the “grocery cart”? Which one’s Susan and which one’s Gabriela? Oh Arkansas, WTF? Ha ha, it is just a misplaced caption! This is really just a harmless photo from the terrorism in Mumbai! Thanks, “Xavier O,” for the tip. [Arkansas [...]
