OK, But What About All The Times The Filibuster HELPED Pass Civil Rights? (Spoiler: There Were None)

As the conversation continues regarding killing off or at least reforming the legislative filibuster, defenders of the old relic of Jim Crow have been insisting that nah, it's not actually a relic of Jim Crow, despite it being used almost exclusively to defeat civil rights laws for most of the 20th century. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell recently flat-out lied that the filibuster had "no racial history," which is demonstrably untrue. Other filibuster defenders have insisted that while it was indeed used to block civil rights, the rule is necessary to protect the "rights" of the political minority, namely, the right to veto anything Democrats propose. But now, in a triumph of doublethink, the Wall Street Journal has published a thoroughly dishonest op-ed arguing that the filibuster was the very best friend of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. Just like Gamera was the friend of little children everywhere, at least when not stomping their homes flat.

You don't really need to read David Hoppe's op-ed, because it's very effectively eviscerated by New York magazine's Jonathan Chait, who has little patience for Hoppe's disingenuous history flummery. Now that's worth a read! Hoppe gets things exactly wrong, arguing that somehow a rule designed to thwart progress on civil rights actually resulted in better law, apparently on the principle that the more obscene the roadblocks put in its place, the greater achievement the final law was.

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Important True Update On MyPillow Guy's New MyCompanies That Will DESTROY All YourCompanies!

Time for your latest update on Mike Lindell's latest MyCompany that will totally END all the other YourCompanies!

Lindell says he's starting a new store called MyStore, which will beat the shit out of YourStore, or as the rest of us know it, Amazon. He explained this on the Steve Bannon podcast web show or whatever the fuck it is, because that's one of the places Mike Lindell is still allowed to go.

Lindell presented his business plan to Bannon:

LINDELL: 'CAUSE I'M LOOKING AT ANOTHER THING WE'RE GONNA BE LAUNCHING, WHICH IS MYSTORE, WHICH IS A RIVAL TO AMAZON!

It sounds like what Lindell means is that he's going to GREATLY EXPAND the "MyStore" section of the "MyPillow" website, and judging by the products it sells right now, we bet it will literally dethrone Jeff Bezos.

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Oregon Secessionist Gets Meeting With Idaho Legislators On Goofball Plan For 'Greater Idaho'

An Oregon dude who thinks it would make a lot of sense to peel off three-quarters of the state and hand it to Idaho actually held a meeting Monday with members of the Idaho House and Senate. Just about the best that can be said for the outcome was that the Idaho legislators seemed "intrigued but skeptical," as the Oregonian put it. It being Idaho, there's almost nothing too crazy our legislators won't entertain, from the existence of a vast conspiracy to fill rural Idaho with murderous jihadis to the perfectly sane proposition that "religious freedom" means parents should be allowed to let their kids die without any interference by Big Government.

The "Greater Idaho" proposal comes from a guy named Mike McCarter, who thinks there's no reason most of the land mass of Oregon should be subject to rule by the vast majority of the population, which tends to live in the northwest part of the state — Portland, Salem, Eugene, and environs. So why not move 22 counties from eastern and southern Oregon to Idaho, for great justice? Then later, maybe add in a few counties from southeast Washington and northern California, but with a NO HIPPIES ALLOWED sign.

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Wanna Read Gaetz Buddy Joel Greenberg's Secret WhatsApps? Wait, Where Are You Going?

When we last left our hero, he was trying and failing to get an audience with a king in the royal chambers at the palace of Mar-a-Lago, and his crack PR team was saying SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP, our hero is NOT EITHER trying and failing to do that SHUT UP!

Before that, we told you on Friday about our hero's Venmo receipts, where GOP Rep. Matt Gaetz would allegedly send money to his pal Joel Greenberg and say "Hit up ________." To be clear, _________ would be a very young woman's name, and then magically Greenberg would Venmo those exact same amounts to ________ for "school" or "tuition," allegedly. It was totally normal!

Anyway, last week, Greenberg's lawyer said he and his client were getting close to making a deal on the eleventy-seven counts Greenberg is charged with, including allegations that one of the girlfriends the two wild and crazy guys reportedly "shared," one of the people they may have paid in a roundabout way for sex, and may have even transported across state lines, was under 18 at the time, which would be, ahem, sex trafficking. As we understand it, that person is the same person as "Hit up _________."

Look, there's just a lot, and it's nigh impossible to keep up with the waterfalls of information and allegations coming out of Matt Gaetz's Fantastical WeenerPeener Lagoon.

Let's just read WhatsApp chats between Greenberg and another dude, right before Greenberg was indicted, because Politico has those.

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Legal

Ohio Will Prosecute Your Doctor For Your Abortion, And Sixth Circuit Says THAT'S GREAT!

It is in fact still legal to have an abortion, even in Ohio. And yet somehow your doctor is an 'accomplice' in this legal act.

For the moment, it's still legal in Ohio to have an abortion. And it's still legal to seek an abortion because you are carrying a fetus with Down syndrome. But if you tell your doctor the truth about your reasons for seeking to terminate your pregnancy, he risks going to jail if he provides you that care to which you are entitled under the Fourth Amendment. So the Sixth Circuit would like you to lie to your doctor in the interest of "protecting the Down syndrome community from the stigma it suffers from the practice of Down-syndrome selective abortions."

You got that? A legally privileged conversation between you and your doctor is an attack on a community of people with disabilities. And, oh by the way, you're also participating in a Nazi-style campaign of "eugenics."

It's a really bad decision, and worse still, it's specifically crafted to get Justices John Roberts and Brett Kavanaugh to sign on.

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Right Wing Extremism

Of Course Capitol Police Leaders Knew What The MAGA CHUDs Were Going To Do, Everyone Did

It's hard to get a man to recognize a threat when he doesn’t wanna, we guess.

During the January 6 insurrection, it seemed like Capitol Police handled the mostly white MAGA mob a little differently from how the police usually manage protesters, even ones who aren't trying to overthrow the government. It turns out we weren't just paranoid, divisive, or somehow inciting violence by even suggesting racism exists. Capitol Police Assistant Inspector General Michael A. Bolton has released what the New York Times calls a “scathing new report" that reveals the Capitol Police knew well in advance that a potential attack was likely and that “Congress itself was a target" for violence. Yet, officers were instructed not to use their “most aggressive tactics" against the violent mob, which was good since it likely would've led to a bloodbath because the mob was heavily armed. Still, this clearly put the police at a disadvantage because “aggressive tactics" are their speciality. It's like telling Mick Jagger before a concert that he can't strut around the stage like a chicken. What's he supposed to do for two hours?

But once the mob breached the Capitol, it was only dumb luck that Congress members weren't killed.

In a 104-page document, the inspector general, Michael A. Bolton, criticized the way the Capitol Police prepared for and responded to the mob violence on Jan. 6. The report was reviewed by The New York Times and will be the subject of a Capitol Hill hearing on Thursday.

Mr. Bolton found that the agency's leaders failed to adequately prepare despite explicit warnings that pro-Trump extremists posed a threat to law enforcement and civilians and that the police used defective protective equipment. He also found that the leaders ordered their Civil Disturbance Unit to refrain from using its most powerful crowd-control tools — like stun grenades — to put down the onslaught.

The challenge for the Capitol Police was that the looming threat wasn't random Black people demanding that the police not kill them. If it's a Black Lives Matter rally, then it's stun grenades all around, even in Seattle. This time, the threat was the one-term loser's supporters who believed his whiny-ass lies that the election was stolen. Three days before the siege, Capitol Police were aware that the former White House squatter's droogs had posted a map of the Capitol's underground tunnel system on pro-MAGA message boards.

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White House

Wednesday White House Press Briefing Ready Set Go!

Live on Wonk TV!

We have nothing funny to say anymore, we are jokeless, at least until after we eat some lunch.

Hey, why don't you watch the White House press briefing while you wait for us to have jokes again?

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