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Ecuador Tells Julian Assange To Get Off The Couch, Or They're Taking His Cat

Clean up your shit, or find a new place to live, Julian!

Earlier this week, the Ecuadorian embassy in the UK told Julian Assange that it would evict him if he didn't stop being a slob and start taking care of his cat. Assange responded today by announcing he is taking legal action and claiming Ecuador violated his human rights by making him do his own laundry and pay rent. (He is reminding us of THIS awesome dude, who sued his parents for refusing to live anymore with a dude as awesome as he.) Pretty soon they're going to tell him to do things like "get a job" and "move out." GAWD, parents and embassies offering asylum to scumbag freeloaders are just the worst!

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Bonesaw Week Ends With GOP Calling Khashoggi A Terrorist, Of Course.

Surely you expected nothing less.

The bat signal has gone out in Trumpland, and the vampires are obediently flying in formation. This Khashoggi murder story isn't going away, but here in US Amurika we got bombs to sell. So the GOP Brain Trust called an emergency meeting and came up with A PLAN. What if Jamal Khashoggi was a terrorist who deserved to be beaten, dismembered with a bone saw, and have his body repatriated to Saudi Arabia in pieces distributed among his killers' luggage? Can Republicans really have sunk that far?

YES, THEY CAN. The Washington Post reports,

In recent days, a cadre of conservative House Republicans allied with Trump has been privately exchanging articles from right-wing outlets that fuel suspicion of Khashoggi, highlighting his association with the Muslim Brotherhood in his youth and raising conspiratorial questions about his work decades ago as an embedded reporter covering Osama bin Laden, according to four GOP officials involved in the discussions who were not authorized to speak publicly.

Those aspersions — which many lawmakers have been wary of stating publicly because of the political risks of doing so — have begun to flare into public view as conservative media outlets have amplified the claims, which are aimed in part at protecting Trump as he works to preserve the U.S.-Saudi relationship and avoid confronting the Saudis on human rights.

Wow, that's pretty fuckin' evil, even by the debased standards of today's GOP! But if that's what it takes to protect Trump and Kush, Fox is here to oblige. Here's Harris Faulkner on the curvy couch wondering if maybe Jared Kushner's BFF Mohammed bin Bonesaw even has time to order the murder of a dissident reporter since, "He's dealing with a whole host of other issues over there." He's probably too busy, like, washing his manly beard to murder people outside Saudi Arabia, right?

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Donald Trump Loves The Stupid And Violent

Trump rallies are all shitshows that shame the nation. But the closer we get to November, the more Trump makes subtext into text. It's not the word salad dementia -- we're all used to that by now. It's the spectacle of a flabby, draft-dodging conman hooting and hollering like he's a testosterone-soaked warrior, while a crowd of knuckledraggers poisoned by Fox News howls for blood.

Can we Make America Better Than This Again? COME ON NOVEMBER.

But enough foreplay. Let's hit the Top Five Batshit Insane Moments In Missoula, Montana, where the editrix went to the nice rally at the park instead of trying to infiltrate the stupid idiots, why would she even do that?

Democrats are a MOB so get out and vote for the guy who attacked a reporter!

Seriously.

Greg is smart. And by the way, never wrestle him. Never. Any guy that can do a body slam, he's my kind of guy. I shouldn't say that. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. So, I was in Rome with a lot of the leaders from other countries talking about all sorts of things, and I heard about it. And we endorsed Greg very early, but I heard "body slam" and reporter. [Pause for cheering and applause.] And he was way up, and I said -- this was like the day of the election, or just before, and I said, 'Oh, this is terrible. He's going to lose the election.' Then I said, 'Wait a minute! I know Montana pretty well. I think it might help him." And it did.

LOL, get it? Because people from Montana are a pack of wild jackals who think it's totally cool to assault a reporter who asks a politician a question about the Republican healthcare plan.

This is all especially hilarious since a columnist for the Washington Post was just murdered by our great ally Saudi Arabia, who hacked his body into pieces and took it back in their luggage! And boy were their arms tired!

Vote for that other dude, not Jon Tester!

Trump likes Matt Rosendale, or whatever his name is. But he haaaaate Jon Tester, who had the temerity to say that Donald Trump couldn't park his personal physician Ronny Jackson at the VA to commence the GOP's privatization wet dream for veteran's healthcare. How dare Tester oppose such a handsome man with lovely sons and never a hint of scandal! Well except for that time where he blabbed about Karen Pence's interesting medical condition. And his habit of passing out uppers and downers without a prescription. And being a horrible boss who created a toxic work environment. Anyway, Trump's just here to get revenge on Tester.

Jon Tester led the Democrat mob effort to destroy the reputation of a great man, Admiral Ronny Jackson. Now Admiral Jackson I got to know well. He's a doctor, in addition to being -- he's a handsome, wonderful father. His son had just graduated high in his class in Annapolis. Incredible young man, beautiful family, incredible wife, and Tester said things about him which were a disgrace. And I say the people of Montana would not stand for it, what he said about Ronny Jackson.

Not for nothing, but Jackson withdrew when the GOP made clear they weren't going to support him. Maybe it was the report of him being drunk on duty and wrecking a government vehicle that did him in. But please, GO ON.

Never had a problem in his whole life. A little bit like Kavanaugh. Really a very fine, high-quality, handsome guy. Never had a problem. [...] That's really why I'm here. It's not that we need the votes so badly. I think we'll do good. I have a lot of respect for the man that's running, Matt. But also, I'm here because I can never forget what Jon Tester did to a man that's of the highest quality. You would have loved this man in this state, he'd be one of you. And so I said I have to come here, I have to help, because what he did was unfair. What he did was disgusting. What he did was what they did with Judge Kavanaugh. Same thing. Almost, if this is believable, worse!

Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Vote for Matt Whatshisname!

Who you gonna believe, Trump or your lying eyes? LOL, this is a MAGA rally, DUH.

Hey, remember that fun time when Donald Trump called on the Russians to hack Hillary Clinton's email?

Donald Trump: Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find 30K emails that are missing.

Okay, so that never happened.

Can you imagine me saying, 'I don't know what we can do, let me call the Russians. Maybe they can help.' Do you believe any of this? Let's call the Russians? If I had to call the Russians, the first one to know about it would be the state of Montana. And you would not be too happy about it. Can you imagine? That's a disgrace. It was an excuse made by the Democrats for losing an election frankly they should have won. Remember the electoral college? Exactly 270. That's right. How many times did you hear there is no way? I went to Maine, by the way, four or five times. All of the people of Maine, and I ended up winning.

He did not end up winning Maine. And also, what kind of 1984 shit is this? We all saw you, dude!

And, also, too, what Daniel Dale said.

Any Nazis in da hizzouse?

What Trump rally would be complete without a nakedly anti-semitic shout out? TFW you're taking a hundred million dollars from Sheldon Adelson, but you still want that sweet, sweet Nazi vote. After blaming Democrats for the skeeeery caravans of ragged, desperate women and children in Honduras -- which we're not quoting any more, because NO THEY DO NOT GET TO OWN THIS STORY LINE -- Trump then bragged, "It's my problem. I caused it because I have created such an incredible economy and have created so many jobs." But then he was back to accusing the Democrats of being Soros puppets because their signs weren't made with markers or something.

They are paid by Soros or somebody. Did you see with Justice Kavanaugh? And by the way, what about Justice Gorsuch? How good is he? Did you see the signs? Everybody has the same sign from the same printer in Washington. They were all identical. And I pointed that out the next day. Everybody had signs. I didn't see any of the black and white ones. There are a lot of rigged things going on. Just ask Bernie Sanders.

Well, this is all REAL STUPID! Can you bring it on home with an extra dose of MORON?

The one thing that has been really great this whole endeavor, that 'He wears a hairpiece.' They don't say that any more. They've seen me not in perfect conditions. I haven't heard that in over a year. When the wind goes crazy like the other day, Hurricane Michael and the devastations of Florida and Georgia and Alabama got hit hard? Then a couple weeks before Michael, couple weeks before, I went to North Carolina and South Carolina. Look at what happened in a little piece of Virginia. Walk around in those conditions, you can't fake it. Nobody ever says that any more. Maybe one of the best things that has happened to be in a long time.

So sorry about the flooding and devastation and whatever. But you guys have performed a valuable service to the nation by proving that mangled orange weasel on top of his head is all the way screwed in tight.

IT'S GETTING WORSE. HE'S GETTING WORSE. And if you watch this hideous C-SPAN video of that lunatic rally, you will be getting worse, too. So don't.

[C-SPAN]

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Police Arrest First Proud Boy. Surprise! He Also Likes Beating Up Women.

Last night, the NYPD finally got around to arresting one of the "Proud Boys" responsible for assaulting several activists this past weekend. Said "Proud Boy" was 38-year-old New York City resident Geoffrey Owens, who was charged with "riot and attempted assault" -- an odd choice given that there is actual video of these people surrounding the activists and beating and kicking them in true American History X fashion.

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Trump And Fox, Just Flashing White Power Signs To Each Other All Morning

POPPY, TAKE YOUR MEDS! America's Couch Potato in Chief spent the morning live-tweeting Fox & Freaking Out Your Dad For Ratings. Today the White Grievance Goon Squad spent the six o'clock hour whipping up the Silent Generation over the INVASION of Our Southern Border by a scary caravan of ragged, starving people trying to escape poverty and crime in their home countries. And Donald Trump knows who is to blame for the existential threat to this, our fragile superpower with full employment and fruit rotting on the trees.

That's right, it's those dastardly Democrats! If only they would allow ICE to throw MORE babies in cages, if we could just build gulags as White Jesus intended, no one would seek asylum in the United States. (Nope.) Then we could all go back to the way it was when America was great and strawberries cost $9/lb and you could have iceberg or romaine, but not mesclun which is some kind of Messican drug probably. MAGA!

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Post-Racial America

Is Andrew Gillum Too Good To Be True? The New York Times Is VERY SUSPICIOUS.

He doesn't get the Beto treatment, wonder why.

The New York Times ran a piece in Thursday's paper about Florida gubernatorial candidate Andrew Gillum that started out poorly and kept going full-stupid ahead.

City Hall never did seem big enough for Andrew Gillum.

It was November 2014 — Mr. Gillum's swearing-in as mayor of Tallahassee — and typical accommodations would not do. Traditionally, the city had inaugurated its new government quietly, in its municipal chambers. But Mr. Gillum, then 35, wanted a party. He wanted, colleagues groused, to be seen making a speech.

And seen he was.

How dare Gillum have higher aspirations than mayor of the city that doesn't have a Disney World? Why does Mr. Uppity want to be seen? In Trump's America, "Invisible Man" is a how-to guide for black politicians.

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Immigrants

THE MIGRANTS ARE COMING!

Be very afraid or something.

As we head toward the midterm elections, Donald Trump and his pals at Fox News are doing all they can to hype fears of an unstoppable mass of dangerous criminal aliens (in other words, families seeking asylum from crime and gang violence) from Central America. Fear is always good to excite the base, and since panic over a migrant "caravan" in April led to Trump's stupid boprder military deployment and the disastrous family separation policy, why not ramp up that fear all over again, this time so Trump can implement Family Separation 2.0? OK, sure, the caravan panic is a bullshit, and it's bullshit that resulted in documented human rights violations. But it's exciting bullshit, so Trump's running with it, because it gets his mobs -- and even members of his own lunatic cabinet -- barking mad.

Trump State TV's Laura Ingraham offered a typical scare-the-hell-outta-Uncle-Clyde story on the frightening caravan Thursday night, speculating that while it might have only started with a few hundred people, now it's in the thousands, and who know, by election day it will probably be FOUR MILLION IMMIGRATION ZOMBIES knocking down the entire border, why not? Funny how migrants all "swarm" or "infest" or other scary vermin-y verbs, huh?

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News

Donald Trump Loves The Stupid And Violent

And oh in Montana they love him right back.

Trump rallies are all shitshows that shame the nation. But the closer we get to November, the more Trump makes subtext into text. It's not the word salad dementia -- we're all used to that by now. It's the spectacle of a flabby, draft-dodging conman hooting and hollering like he's a testosterone-soaked warrior, while a crowd of knuckledraggers poisoned by Fox News howls for blood.

Can we Make America Better Than This Again? COME ON NOVEMBER.

But enough foreplay. Let's hit the Top Five Batshit Insane Moments In Missoula, Montana, where the editrix went to the nice rally at the park instead of trying to infiltrate the stupid idiots, why would she even do that?

Democrats are a MOB so get out and vote for the guy who attacked a reporter!

Seriously.

Greg is smart. And by the way, never wrestle him. Never. Any guy that can do a body slam, he's my kind of guy. I shouldn't say that. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. So, I was in Rome with a lot of the leaders from other countries talking about all sorts of things, and I heard about it. And we endorsed Greg very early, but I heard "body slam" and reporter. [Pause for cheering and applause.] And he was way up, and I said -- this was like the day of the election, or just before, and I said, 'Oh, this is terrible. He's going to lose the election.' Then I said, 'Wait a minute! I know Montana pretty well. I think it might help him." And it did.

LOL, get it? Because people from Montana are a pack of wild jackals who think it's totally cool to assault a reporter who asks a politician a question about the Republican healthcare plan.

This is all especially hilarious since a columnist for the Washington Post was just murdered by our great ally Saudi Arabia, who hacked his body into pieces and took it back in their luggage! And boy were their arms tired!

Vote for that other dude, not Jon Tester!

Trump likes Matt Rosendale, or whatever his name is. But he haaaaate Jon Tester, who had the temerity to say that Donald Trump couldn't park his personal physician Ronny Jackson at the VA to commence the GOP's privatization wet dream for veteran's healthcare. How dare Tester oppose such a handsome man with lovely sons and never a hint of scandal! Well except for that time where he blabbed about Karen Pence's interesting medical condition. And his habit of passing out uppers and downers without a prescription. And being a horrible boss who created a toxic work environment. Anyway, Trump's just here to get revenge on Tester.

Jon Tester led the Democrat mob effort to destroy the reputation of a great man, Admiral Ronny Jackson. Now Admiral Jackson I got to know well. He's a doctor, in addition to being -- he's a handsome, wonderful father. His son had just graduated high in his class in Annapolis. Incredible young man, beautiful family, incredible wife, and Tester said things about him which were a disgrace. And I say the people of Montana would not stand for it, what he said about Ronny Jackson.

Not for nothing, but Jackson withdrew when the GOP made clear they weren't going to support him. Maybe it was the report of him being drunk on duty and wrecking a government vehicle that did him in. But please, GO ON.

Never had a problem in his whole life. A little bit like Kavanaugh. Really a very fine, high-quality, handsome guy. Never had a problem. [...] That's really why I'm here. It's not that we need the votes so badly. I think we'll do good. I have a lot of respect for the man that's running, Matt. But also, I'm here because I can never forget what Jon Tester did to a man that's of the highest quality. You would have loved this man in this state, he'd be one of you. And so I said I have to come here, I have to help, because what he did was unfair. What he did was disgusting. What he did was what they did with Judge Kavanaugh. Same thing. Almost, if this is believable, worse!

Vengeance is mine, saith the Lord. Vote for Matt Whatshisname!

Who you gonna believe, Trump or your lying eyes? LOL, this is a MAGA rally, DUH.

Hey, remember that fun time when Donald Trump called on the Russians to hack Hillary Clinton's email?

Donald Trump: Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find 30K emails that are missing.

Okay, so that never happened.

Can you imagine me saying, 'I don't know what we can do, let me call the Russians. Maybe they can help.' Do you believe any of this? Let's call the Russians? If I had to call the Russians, the first one to know about it would be the state of Montana. And you would not be too happy about it. Can you imagine? That's a disgrace. It was an excuse made by the Democrats for losing an election frankly they should have won. Remember the electoral college? Exactly 270. That's right. How many times did you hear there is no way? I went to Maine, by the way, four or five times. All of the people of Maine, and I ended up winning.

He did not end up winning Maine. And also, what kind of 1984 shit is this? We all saw you, dude!

And, also, too, what Daniel Dale said.

Any Nazis in da hizzouse?

What Trump rally would be complete without a nakedly anti-semitic shout out? TFW you're taking a hundred million dollars from Sheldon Adelson, but you still want that sweet, sweet Nazi vote. After blaming Democrats for the skeeeery caravans of ragged, desperate women and children in Honduras -- which we're not quoting any more, because NO THEY DO NOT GET TO OWN THIS STORY LINE -- Trump then bragged, "It's my problem. I caused it because I have created such an incredible economy and have created so many jobs." But then he was back to accusing the Democrats of being Soros puppets because their signs weren't made with markers or something.

They are paid by Soros or somebody. Did you see with Justice Kavanaugh? And by the way, what about Justice Gorsuch? How good is he? Did you see the signs? Everybody has the same sign from the same printer in Washington. They were all identical. And I pointed that out the next day. Everybody had signs. I didn't see any of the black and white ones. There are a lot of rigged things going on. Just ask Bernie Sanders.

Well, this is all REAL STUPID! Can you bring it on home with an extra dose of MORON?

The one thing that has been really great this whole endeavor, that 'He wears a hairpiece.' They don't say that any more. They've seen me not in perfect conditions. I haven't heard that in over a year. When the wind goes crazy like the other day, Hurricane Michael and the devastations of Florida and Georgia and Alabama got hit hard? Then a couple weeks before Michael, couple weeks before, I went to North Carolina and South Carolina. Look at what happened in a little piece of Virginia. Walk around in those conditions, you can't fake it. Nobody ever says that any more. Maybe one of the best things that has happened to be in a long time.

So sorry about the flooding and devastation and whatever. But you guys have performed a valuable service to the nation by proving that mangled orange weasel on top of his head is all the way screwed in tight.

IT'S GETTING WORSE. HE'S GETTING WORSE. And if you watch this hideous C-SPAN video of that lunatic rally, you will be getting worse, too. So don't.

[C-SPAN]

Follow your FDF on Twitter!

Only for YOU we watched that nightmare! You tip us now, please!

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Post-Racial America

Police Arrest First Proud Boy. Surprise! He Also Likes Beating Up Women.

Geoffrey Young reportedly became a fourth degree Proud Boy by beating a woman.

Last night, the NYPD finally got around to arresting one of the "Proud Boys" responsible for assaulting several activists this past weekend. Said "Proud Boy" was 38-year-old New York City resident Geoffrey Owens, who was charged with "riot and attempted assault" -- an odd choice given that there is actual video of these people surrounding the activists and beating and kicking them in true American History X fashion.

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Culture

Ohio Senate Candidate Jim Renacci Tries To #MeToo Sherrod Brown

Jim Renacci is a slimeball.

Republicans have quickly developed a pattern of weaponizing the #MeToo movement for their own political ends, while simultaneously crying "witch hunt" in a crowded adult movie theater whenever one of their own is credibly accused. They defended and endorsed Roy Moore for the Senate while happily applauding Al Franken's exit. Now just weeks after Brett Kavanaugh inexplicably became the Tom Robinson of Washington DC, we have slimy Republican Senate candidate Jim Renacci hurling out accusations of sexual misconduct by his Democratic opponent, Sherrod Brown.

Renacci released a statement late Thursday from a former business partner and political donor, Laura Mills, who alleges that a woman disclosed to her that the Ohio senator made an "unexpected, uninvited, unwanted, and sudden advance" in the late 1980s when they were alone together. The statement does not provide a date, a location, supporting evidence or the name of the accuser. By the standards Jeff Flake and Susan Collins use to confirm Supreme Court nominees, we can presume this never happened or, if it did, the woman is clearly mistaken that it was Brown because he denies it.

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Elections

Wanna Feel Good This Morning?

Probably not, knowing you.

This is a terrific story, starting with the white suburban women doing Indivisible and moving on to the young people of color doing amazingly creative voter reg and engagement. It is worth your time for you to CLICK.

Black Voters Matter, a regional network engaging rural black communities in the South, instructs volunteers to knock on every door on the block, not just the ones on the walk list, and bring up local issues rather than stump for a particular candidate. When organizers learned that black parents in Pensacola, Fla., were angry about the lack of minority representation on local school boards, Black Voters Matter urged voters to the polls. Black turnout in the Democratic gubernatorial primary helped deliver the party's nomination to Andrew Gillum, who may become Florida's first black governor. "Once you can get them to turn out, they'll vote for Gillum," says Cliff Albright, co-founder of Black Voters Matter. "But the thing that got them to show up is those local issues."

Sometimes getting attention requires getting creative. Jolt organized a quinceañera at the Texas capitol building in Austin to protest a state immigration law, and has spent the past year hosting monthly parties featuring traditional Latin American food to register Latino students to vote. The goal is to reach people like 21-year-old Henry Aguirre, who was parked near the tacos at the Jolt party in Dallas. Aguirre didn't vote in the 2016 election. Now he's trying to atone for his apathy, registering more than 100 voters since Labor Day. "I feel like I wasn't completely living up to being an American," he says, "because I wasn't voting."

You can donate to Black Voters Matter here and Jolt here. Don't worry about the VoteGoat, Tom Steyer's picked up the tab for that one. And as always, you can click the handy donation widget RIGHT HERE to throw money at the world's greatest website, Wonkette.com. (We are probably just going to send it on to Black Voters Matter or Jolt, or maybe we will use it for nice wine, there is just no way to know.)

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News

Whatever Ryan Zinke's Wife Lola Wants, Lola Gets

And little Lola wants some grifted flights.

Looks like grifty Ryan Zinke won't have his butt saved from ethics investigations by a political hack after all. Earlier this week, news broke that a political appointee from Housing and Urban Development would be installed as the Inspector General at Zinke's Interior department, which smelled like a pretty obvious cover-up even by the lax standards of this administration.

But last night, Interior Department officials said no, heavens, they certainly hadn't put the lady who approved Ben Carson's dinette set in charge of the IG's office, and please disregard that email from Ben Carson wishing her luck in her new job. Heh-heh, what a silly idea! It was a well-timed walkback, since the acting IG who's been leading four investigations into Zinke released a report finding that Zinke and Interior staff had approved government-funded travel for Zinke's wife, Lola, violating standing Interior department policy. No big, really, since Zinke later changed the policy so family members could ride along with no reimbursement to the government. Just change the ethics rules and you're suddenly ethical as fuck!

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Cops Behaving Badly

Joe Arpaio Sues New York Times For Ruining His Sterling Reputation

And our old pal Larry Klayman is back for the assist.

WHY IS JOE ARPAIO STILL HERE? After the people of Maricopa County finally kicked his flabby ass to the curb, after he won a whopping 18 percent in the GOP primary for Jeff Flake's seat, after all the horrible shit he did and still managed to grift himself a pardon, why has he not vanished in a puff of acrid, sulfurous smoke?

But Sheriff Joe has not vanished. He's like a case of drug-resistant TB, and we'll never cough him up. He and his lawyers are currently hacking globs of phlegm at the New York Times, which had the temerity to say that Arpaio is a racist nutbag who ran a jail where a whole lot of people died. So Arpaio and lawyer-to-the-loons Larry Klayman are suing the Times for $147,500,000 in punitive damages over an August 29, 2018, editorial by Michelle Cottle titled, "Well, At Least Joe Arpaio Isn't Going To Congress."

That seems like kind of a random number. Were they just eating rancid bologna leftover from Sheriff Joe's "concentration camps" and hallucinated it? Where on earth would they come up with $147,500,000?

WAIT FOR IT ...

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Russia

GOOD MORNING MONTANA. Wonkagenda For Fri., Oct. 19, 2018

Trump tries to change the story, Zinke gets caught grifting, and Nikki Haley's got jokes. Your morning news brief!

Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today.

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White House

John Bolton, John Kelly In White House Screaming Match, And We ALL WIN!

Except the immigrants.

John Bolton and John Kelly got into what was described by CNN as a "heated argument" over increased border crossings by families that developed into a "shouting match" in the West Wing today, although who was arguing for what isn't yet clear. Knowing those two, it may have been a simple disagreement over whether bringing back the family separation policy would be sufficient, or if it would be more effective to bomb and strafe the "caravan" of asylum seekers that has wingnuts freaking out this week.

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Elections

Smart Nerds Gonna Flip EIGHT State Legislatures To Dems. They Need Money To Do That. Well?

So start throwing money already.

With a bit over two weeks to go until the midterms -- that's calendar time, not Trump Distortion Field time -- there's one more dang data-driven campaign project to give some thought to: How about flipping eight state legislatures from red to blue? The nerds at Data For Progress have picked out eight state legislature races they think could be key to switching an entire legislative body to a Democratic majority, and bundled the bunch together into a single ActBlue donation campaign (the suggested donation is 80 bucks, because ten bucks per seat, but you can also give less or more, and even divide up your donation how you choose). Since 2000, rightwing billionaires like the Kochs and the Mercers have turned state legislatures into laboratories of Bad Ideas, so hey, let's try to get the most bang for the buck and concentrate money on seats that could well make all the difference in the targeted states!

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Culture

North Carolina Conservatives Saw Their Homes Washed Away, Now They're Almost Climate Change Believers!

A slow, stupid march to the acceptance of science.

I'll say one good thing about conservatives -- literally one good thing: They are certainly willing to take a serious issue to heart as long as it is specifically their own heart at risk. Lately, you can't go a few months without a hurricane slapping you in the face, and a lot of the folks getting slapped upside the head are formerly climate-change-denying supporters of Donald Trump.

The Washington Post had a piece today about residents of North Carolina, who are dealing with the aftermath of Hurricane Florence and possibly reconsidering their obstinance in the face of decades of compelling science.

"I always thought climate change was a bunch of nonsense, but now I really do think it is happening," said [Margie] White, a 65-year-old Trump supporter, as she and her young grandson watched workers haul away downed trees and other debris lining the streets of her posh seaside neighborhood last week.

Yes, White, who holds several doctorates in head-up-her-ass-ology, thought climate change was "nonsense." Krypton was just settling in its orbit. Stop shooting off babies in rockets and chill out. But she's recanting like Galileo because her "posh" seaside neighborhood now resembles one of those "hippety-hop" clubs after last call. Why did Al Gore bother making An Inconvenient Truth when he could've just knocked over some power lines in nice neighborhoods?

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Science

Facebook Forgot To Carry The One, Killed Journalism. ALLEGEDLY.

A new lawsuit claims Facebook knew damn well what it was breaking, and didn't care.

Recently unveiled documents suggest Facebook was blowing smoke up everyone's ass when it was bragging about the "pivot to video" back in 2016. A small group of advertisers, who already filed a suit against Facebook for unfair business practices, have added a claim of fraud now that internal documents show how badly Facebook was screwing its customers. They accuse Facebook of a "mentality of reckless indifference" that caused businesses to spend more money based on phony reports, even after Facebook's own engineers knew something was broken. It's too bad Facebook already cashed their checks.

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Elections

Montana GOPer Cain't Wait To Shoot Up Some Dirty Hippies For Trump!

He's PRETTY SURE Missoula is just lousy with Antifa. (It's really really really not.)

Donald Trump is coming to Missoula, Montana, tonight! There, he will be greeted by the fewer than 2000 people who will fit in an airplane hangar, while Missoula's hippies protest far away, from 2:30 to 6 p.m. at Playfair Park. It will be your usual EXTREMIST LEFTIST OUTSIDE AGITATOR RIOT:

The Native community will open the event. We will sing, educate ourselves on the ballot initiatives, candidates, and sign up to canvass and volunteer. We will participate in community art, sharing in food, making signs and t-shirt printing. There will be bouncy houses for kiddos and time for us to meet, talk and connect in person. We will be together.

Then there will be a rally, followed by a march, followed by VOTING. You can see why a former Montana state party chair offered to shoot everyone up, because oh shit, TIN SOLDIERS ANTIFA COMIN'.

In his first Facebook post, [former Montana GOP chair Will] Deschamps wrote: "For all the prospective attendees to the Trump event. Come early. Also all you protesters, show up as well. This is a concealed and open carry state and we know how to use em. USMC trained."
He elaborated in a second, longer Facebook Post, writing that "… protesters have become more and more brutal. They are in fact, now carrying fire arms, hardened gloves and other violent articles with them that can kill, or harm those they disagree with. Apparently, those of us that want peacful (sic) marches, are not allowed to suggest we defend ourselves."

You know what they have in Missoula? The Jeanette Rankin Peace Center, where you can buy fair-trade weavings from Guatemalan widows while contemplating the first woman in Congress, and the only member of the body to vote against entry into both World War I and World War II. You know what they don't have in Missoula? Antifa. Not even a little. But some tuff guys with guns are giant fucking scared pussies we guess!

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Kamala Harris Has Good Idea For Economy: Give Poor People Money To Buy Stuff.

Class War is good for you.

Kamala Harris is just one of several Democrats who'd like you to think about an alternative to the Republicans' Great Big Tax Cuts for Rich Fuckwads bill from last year. Instead of redistributing wealth to those who are already rich, how about we make a similar outlay in public spending, but give it to middle and working class people who would spend most of it on rent, groceries, a treat sometimes, and other basics, which would create demand for products and actually spread wealth through the economy? As we've already seen, Trump's tax cut for corporations and the already wealthy has mostly gone into stock buybacks, not to workers, so what about if we give millions of people the ability to buy groceries and furniture and school supplies, instead of helping out yacht brokers?

Does that sound like class war? Bet your sweet ass it does -- but it's really a counterattack after nearly 40 years of Reaganism.

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Dave Brat Whines To Prisoners About His Struggles, Or 'Kampf'

We're all living in The Onion now.

RULE NUMBER 1: Republicans are always, always, always the victims. Even in a room full of incarcerated addicts wondering how to put their lives back together, the real victim is actually the liver-lipped Republican congressman in the plaid sport jacket. Because he has to go back on the campaign trail, which is OMG soooooooo haaaaard.

No, seriously. Dave Brat just told a female inmate worried about how to take care of her family when she is paroled, that he has a lot of shit to deal with, too, because, "I've got $5 million worth of negative ads coming at me. How do you think I'm feeling?"

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