Brother, Can You Spare Two Literal Dimes For Donald Trump’s Tax Bill?

It's not quite October but this is still a pleasant surprise. The New York Times dropped a bomb on Donald Trump's overpriced head Sunday. The paper obtained Trump's tax information for more than two decades, and it's a doozy: Trump paid no — as in zero — taxes for 10 of the 15 years prior to his presidency. However, President Deadbeat wrote Uncle Sam a big check for $750 in 2016. That's right. He paid the federal government less than his cable provider. He paid another $750 in 2017. If your income was greater than $20,000 last year, you likely paid more in federal income tax.

How did he pull this off?

From the Times:

His reports to the I.R.S. portray a businessman who takes in hundreds of millions of dollars a year yet racks up chronic losses that he aggressively employs to avoid paying taxes.

That's not the description of a “businessman." It's the plot of The Producers. Trump is a walking one-man Ponzi scheme who plays everyone he meets for a sucker. This includes the current first lady, who negotiated a fat prenup settlement on the taxpayer's dime, but Trump could never pay it. He's really, most sincerely broke.

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Brad Parscale Avoids Permanent Solution To Temporary Problem, Whew That Could Have Been TERRIBLE

Brad Parscale, Trump's former campaign manager, has been hospitalized after barricading himself in his home in Fort Lauderdale with multiple firearms and threatening to kill or otherwise harm himself on Sunday afternoon. His wife, who was not in the house with him, reported the incident to police who were able to talk him down and take him to Broward Health Medical Center for an evaluation.

Via New York Times:

The episode took place just before 4 p.m., the authorities said, outside a home that records show Mr. Parscale bought in 2019.

"When officers arrived on scene, they made contact with the reportee (wife of armed subject) who advised her husband was armed, had access to multiple firearms inside the residence and was threatening to harm himself," the Fort Lauderdale Police Department said in a statement. "Officers determined the only occupant inside the home was the adult male. Officers made contact with the male, developed a rapport, and safely negotiated for him to exit the home."

The reasons for Parscale's suicide attempt are not clear, although things have not really been going great for him lately.

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Who Wants To Watch Dr. Fauci Sh*t On Rand Paul And Call Him A Bad Doctor?

Wanna watch a SUREFIRE HIT VIDEO? We have you one! Rolling Stone is gonna be pretty mad it already released its new 500 bestest albums of all time list, because Dr. Anthony Fauci just dropped a new hit record on Kinda Sorta Dr. Rand Paul's face!

It is called "I Am Too Polite To Say This, But I Don't Think This Dipshit Is A Real Doctor."

Rand Paul, a doctor, was very mad that Dr. Fauci kept saying New York's response to the coronavirus was so great. "New York had the highest death rate in the world," exclaimed Paul, who says he is good at ophthalmologizing, which is too a real word, but we would never trust Rand Paul with our eyes.

(Even the one that we are blind in.)

(Especially that one, because we couldn't see the very good doctor coming at us with his instruments to bite him if he tried anything funny.)


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Rachel Maddow Finds CDC Director Sh*tting Bed, And Floor, Some Walls, The Ceiling

In an exclusive report yesterday, MSNBC's "The Rachel Maddow Show" uncovered still more political interference by the Trump administration in the response to the coronavirus pandemic. The story makes a hell of a strong case for the immediate resignation of Robert Redfield as director of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, because he's given in to Trumpworld directives that have led the agency to promote misleading, non-science-based information about the virus and what's needed to protect Americans from the pandemic.

Specifically, Maddow and her reporting team uncovered evidence that the CDC watered down recommendations its scientists had made for dealing with a COVID-19 outbreak at a Smithfield Foods meatpacking plant in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. It's just good old document-finding, digging, and checking with agency insiders. Here's the video; be ready to be disgusted.

CDC Director's Office Ordered Softening Of Coronavirus Safety Protocols For Meat Plant | MSNBC

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2020 presidential election

Someone Please Make A Caper Movie About These Postal Workers Refusing To Ratf*ck The Mail

What's the opposite of a union slowdown?

After Donald Trump's pet Postmaster General Louis DeJoy ordered a bunch of cost-cutting measures earlier this summer, which had the effect of slowing down mail deliveries, a lot of postal workers said fuck that noise. They took matters into their own hands to resist the changes and preserve good service as best they could, the Washington Post reports. On the whole, it's not exactly the cheeriest story, what with all the damage to morale and concerns about DeJoy potentially mucking about with democracy, but there are moments of feel-good where workers (with support from their union) put the good of the Post Office above what the bosses want, and insist on doing their jobs well, even when told to please be shittier for the sake of money.

So while it's not quite the glorious fuck-you to the Man we'd like to see in a caper comedy, with the workers prevailing over the penny-pinching new boss, it's still a reassuring reminder: When faced with bureaucratic shitheadedness, workers who give a damn can make things work. Here's hoping the story will inspire other postal employees to do all they can to keep the mail moving when the ballots start getting returned in the next few weeks.

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GOP Wants ‘Investigation’ Into Whoever Leaked President Broke Ass’s Tax Returns

Good luck with that.

Republicans are struggling to keep their stories straight about Donald Trump's tax returns. There are some who claim Trump did nothing wrong when he avoided paying federal taxes for years. His more devout supporters seem to think he deserves a gold medal in Olympic tax dodging. But even Ann Coulter, while evil incarnate, appreciates that it's not a great campaign strategy to suggest that paying their taxes is for suckers who can't get out of jury duty.

Democrats have tried fixing this problem. A few of them even ran for president. The problem is that real billionaires own a lot of Republicans.

Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk realized that the New York Times expose wasn't good news for Trump or John McCain. He immediately argued that a great crime had been committed against Dear Leader, the same crawling smear of slime who “jokingly" asked Russia for Hillary Clinton's emails.

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Poll Porn: Americans Being Goddamn Grownups About Waiting For Votes To Be Counted

Turns out shouting 'Here's how we're gonna steal it!' is a bad strategy. Go know!

"Must know Election results on the night of the Election, not days, months, or even years later!" the Tweeter in Chief demanded in July.

So how's that one going?

Just about as well as Trump's demand that states ban mail-in ballots and force voters to show up in person during the third wave of a viral pandemic. Which is to say it's a BIGLY FAIL.

If the Democrats' "job" was to educate Americans that election night tallies of in-person voting might show an advantage for Trump which would erode when the mail-in ballots, which are heavily favored by Democrats this year, are counted, then Trump's foot stomping seems to have done the trick.

Politico reports from a poll conducted with Morning Consult that just 20 percent of voters expect to know who won on November 3. In fact two-thirds of Americans are prepared to wait several days for an accurate tally.

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