Trump Goes To Waco, Tells 'Em About His Lord And Savior Vladimir Putin

We haven't spent a lot of time on Donald Trump's pathetic redneck Hitler rally this weekend in Waco, Texas. It happened. He will do more little Hitler rallies. Hopefully before long he'll be indicted and then convicted and unable to do his little Hitler rallies anymore.

But it feels useful to keep pointing it out that Donald Trump, no matter his official status with Russia, is still so far up Vladimir Putin's ass he's swimming in this morning's borscht. That's what he'll bring to the presidential race, for however long he's in it, and while Ukraine continues to fight for its existence against a rogue trash nation that has declared a genocidal war on it.

Trump was talking about that war, of course, and he played a couple of his usual hits. The one about how the war never would have happened if he was president, because of his brilliance, for instance. The one where he fawned all over how smart Putin is.

But this time there was something else in there, a weird prediction that somehow his king, his beloved, would win the entire war and manage to steal all of Ukraine.

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Manhattan DA Bragg To Jim Jordan: Don't Start No Sh*t, Won't Be No Sh*t.

Maybe by the time you're reading this, Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg will have indicted Donald Trump. Or Fulton County DA Fani Willis, or Special Counsel Jack Smith, or The Hague, or perhaps the Klingon High Council. Lord knows, there are plenty of crimes to go around. And if and when that happens, he will be entitled to due process of law, just like everyone else. The Republicans with their bare congressional majority will have nothing to do with it, particularly if that prosecution takes place in a state court. That's how federalism goes, and Republicans know it perfectly well, particularly when they're clamoring for local control so they can oppress minorities and women in "red" states.

Nevertheless, the howler monkeys in Congress, led by House Judiciary Chair Jim Jordan, are making a spectacle of themselves in a bald attempt to intimidate DA Bragg in the wake of Trump's prediction that he's about to be arrested.

Last week Jordan, Oversight Chair James Comer, and Administration Chair Bryan Steil sent Bragg a nastygram demanding testimony and documents pursuant to their congressional oversight role.

"You are reportedly about to engage in an unprecedented abuse of prosecutorial authority: the indictment of a former President of the United States and current declared candidate for that office," they screeched, insisting that any prosecution of Trump would "erode confidence in the evenhanded application of justice and unalterably interfere in the course of the 2024 presidential election."

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Would You Pay Seven Bucks Per Month For Nothing Of Value? What About Six? Five? Come On, Guys!

Let's check in with genius businessman Elon Musk and his genius plan to underpants gnome Twitter into profitability by forcing us all to spent eight dollars a month on a "product" with no discernible value:

Worthless shit that benefits no one: now only SEVEN dollars a month!

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Why Trump Would Probably Blow Up The World Before Accepting Primary Loss To Gov. Pudding Fingers

The mainstream Republican strategy regarding Donald Trump seems similar to the mother's from the VC Andrews classic Flowers in the Attic — just flatter and appease the crazy old man and reap the rewards once nature takes its course. Sure, you might endure a few vicious beatings at first and eventually have to kill your own kids, but it’s better than poverty and socialism.

Some Republicans think they won’t have to wait until Trump expires. Ron DeSantis might save them. We assume they’ve actually met DeSantis, but they are nonetheless optimistic.

Even non-Republicans believe DeSantis can oust Trump next year. Political strategist Rachel Bitecor tweeted last week, “From the political science perspective, the last time we saw as strong an insurgent candidate as DeSantis is at this stage [of] presidential primary, it was some dude named Barack Obama in 2008 taking on a much better known [Hillary Clinton].“

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National Politics

Liz Cheney Correct About Thing

No, it's not about January 6 or Donald Trump being trash.

Let's check in with Liz Cheney, a person whose Twitter bio these days identifies her as a rodeo mom and a soccer mom and a baseball mom and a constitutional conservative, BUT NOT as a member of Congress, because of that whole thing where you can't get through a Republican primary anymore unless you're the devil incarnate, dumb as a Kaboodle full of rocks, or both.

Is she feeling any more free? Is she further dropping the shackles of poisonous Republicanism?

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LIVE: Let's Hear From The President.

WonkTV exclusive!

The White House says President Joe Biden is going to talk about Investing In America this afternoon in Durham, North Carolina, but we have a feeling he probably will address other things as well.

Just a hunch.

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Trump Howls As Pecker Leaks All Over Grand Jury

These headlines really write themselves.

Dear God, the fate of the country is in the hands of a guy whose business model relied on paying a few thousand dollars for stories about celebrities, and then locking up those stories in a safe to use as leverage over the celebrities. And his name is literally a synonym for penis.

We're talking of course about David Pecker, the former publisher of the National Enquirer and head of American Media Inc. You can read about the sordid history of Trump's Pecker Protector here, in case you don't remember every detail from 2018. Pecker was a key player in the conspiracy with the Trump Organization and the Trump campaign to buy up stories that might embarrass Trump during the 2016 election and make sure they never saw the light of day. He was given immunity by Special Counsel Robert Mueller, and his testimony helped implicate "Individual 1" in Michael Cohen's guilty plea.

In 2016, after arranging to buy Stormy Daniels's story about bumping bits with Trump a decade earlier, Pecker pulled out of the deal, fearing that it might violate campaign finance laws. Instead, Cohen tapped his home equity line and paid Daniels the $130,000 himself. Flash forward five years, and Pecker is once again spilling his load (sorry, not sorry), this time before the Manhattan grand jury investigating Trump for falsifying business records to hide the reimbursement to Cohen, made in a series of $35,000 checks totaling $420,000, to cover Cohen's tax liability as well as $50,000 he'd paid to a guy from Liberty University to rig an online poll.

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