Senate A**hole Caucus Folds, Government Shutdown Averted!

Huzzay! After several days of Republican senators huffing and puffing and threatening to force a government shutdown over Joe Biden's vaccine mandates, the Senate last night passed a bill to temporarily fund the government for 11 weeks, meaning that government won't be furloughing "nonessential" employees or closing down any agency websites tonight at midnight. Heck, with climate change causing weirdly mild temperatures in much of the country, you might could even go camping in some national parks if you want. or at least they won't be shutting down.

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Don't Tell An Anti-Vaxxer To Go Eat Dirt, Because They WILL Take It Literally!

If we were worse people, we would all be millionaires right now. Billionaires, probably. Because if we have learned anything over this pandemic, it is that there is a frighteningly large segment of the population who will turn their noses up at anything an actual doctor says, but who will guzzle bleach no-questions-asked at the suggestion of some random Instagram person. Each time they come out with a new thing — colloidal silver, white oleander, bleach enemas — it seems like they have hit rock bottom, or should have. "Well, at least it can't get any more bizarre than this," you said to yourself, probably, when they were putting horse paste up their butts.

Oh how wrong you (probably) were. Because this whole damn time they were eating and bathing in "magic dirt." Go figure!

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LIVE BLOG: Partisan GOP SCOTUS Hacks Hear Arguments In 15-Week MS Abortion Ban

Today is a terrible day at the Supreme Court.

The nine justices, most of whom are partisan Republican hacks, and several of whose nominations and confirmations were entirely illegitimate, will hear oral arguments in Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, the case over whether Mississippi's 15-week abortion ban — and by extension all pre-viability bans — is constitutional. In other words, this is the case that could overturn Roe, or gut it beyond recognition.

So let's liveblog the terribleness together! For backgrounders and more analysis, check out SCOTUSblog and NPR and CNN and hey, if you're still bored after that, google it.

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State/Local Politics

David Perdue Embraces Trump’s Big Lie That He Can Beat Stacey Abrams For Georgia Gov.

When Republicans fight themselves, the winner is the American public.

The Georgia governor’s race has become the next stop on Donald Trump’s revenge tour. He loathes incumbent GOP Gov. Brian Kemp, because Kemp wouldn’t help him steal the election. This has created an opportunity for ambitious Republicans who have maintained the mad MAGA king’s favor. Monday, former Senator David Perdue is expected to announce that he’s challenging his old buddy Kemp for the GOP nomination.

Democrat Stacey Abrams announced her candidacy last week, and Perdue has reportedly told allies he’s not confident Kemp can defeat her again. So, for the sake of all that’s white in Georgia, Perdue must rise again from the ashes of his own decisive loss in January's Senate runoff.

What specific policies distinguish Perdue from Kemp? That’s apparently not important. What matters is that Perdue isn’t Kemp.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reports:

“We have a divided party in Georgia right now,” Perdue recently said. “Forget about me. It’s divided. And a lot of people feel like that people in power haven’t fought for them and caved in to a lot of things back in 2020 that didn’t have to be done.”

"David Perdue 2022: FORGET ABOUT ME.” It’s a fitting slogan. You’ll recall that he was too much of a coward to face Senator Jon Ossoff in a third debate last year.

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Culture Wars

Steve Bullock Has Solid Advice For How Democrats Can Beat Republicans From Old ‘West Wing’ Reruns

It’s significantly less relevant today.

Democrat Steve Bullock, the former governor of Montana, has a prescription for Democrats’ electoral woes, and you know it’s great because conservatives such as Amanda Carpenter are retweeting his words. (By “great,” we mean useless.)

Bullock was a decent governor who failed to generate much interest when he ran for president last year, then lost his 2020 Senate race to incumbent Republican Steve Daines like any common coastal elite. But here’s some of his savvy political advice that he published in the New York Times (i.e. The Rural Working Man Gazette). The op-ed is titled "I Was the Governor of Montana. My Fellow Democrats, You Need To Get Out of the City More.” Obvious dogwhistles aside about how cities -- where a significant number of Americans live! -- are somehow not “real America,” Democrats are constantly visiting rural America. They aren’t characters from a Woody Allen movie.

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Cops Pretty Sure Their Morale’s Too Low To Solve Homicides

Thanks, Black Lives Matter!

The United States homicide rate is increasing. More than 500 people were murdered in Philadelphia this year. Cook County, Illinois, reported a 50 percent increase in murders since 2019. Baltimore also had an increase in homicides that Police Commissioner Michael Harrison blames on gun violence. He’s not scapegoating. Guns are the murder weapon of choice.

"Whether it's young people, whether it's older people, people solving their conflict with violence, namely gun violence," Harrison told CBS News.

Harrison is also concerned about the rise of so-called “ghost guns.” These are firearms that lack commercial serial numbers and people can assemble the untraceable weapon in their home “within an hour.” Baltimore cops have seized more than 300 ghost guns this year.

The same week as the Michigan school shooting, a 17-year-old Brooklyn high school student was busted with a loaded 9 mm pistol and more than $30,000 in cash, which we presume he wasn’t going to spend on the vending machines. The school put up a single metal detector the next day and found 21 weapons, including knives and stun guns.

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