This Lady Also Running For Georgia Governor, Promises Jesus And A Gun In Every Womb

State/Local Politics
This Lady Also Running For Georgia Governor, Promises Jesus And A Gun In Every Womb

We covered Sunday’s Georgia GOP governor’s debate between incumbent Brian Kemp and former Senator David Perdue, but those two assholes aren’t the only ones seeking their party’s nomination. There’s also this crazy asshole, Kandiss Taylor, who wasn’t at the debate, presumably because there was security.

Monday, Taylor released an ad where she proclaimed herself the “one you’ve been waiting for.” Then she went Sinead O’Connor on a photo of Kemp and Perdue in happier times. Ripping the image in two, she said: "In Georgia, we’re done with establishment twin buddy system. I’m Kandiss Taylor. I’m a mother, a wife, and a public school educator.”

It’s not encouraging that Taylor holds any of those positions.

She goes on:

And I’m so sick and tired of people who bend their knee and are bought off. And that’s why I’m running to give you a voice.

But what if potential voters enjoy bending the knee while getting bought off? She’s already limiting the voices she’ll elevate.

Taylor details her compelling platform:

I believe in Jesus, guns, and babies. And I believe in putting the Constitution first. I’m gonna tear down the establishment crooks in Atlanta. Vote May 24th, Kandiss Taylor. I’m the one you’ve been waiting for.

So, that’s a lot. Taylor has a PhD from Pat Robertson’s Regent University. She’s certified in early childhood teaching and has worked for 19 years as a third-grade teacher and a school counselor. She’s currently a school administrator in Baxley, Georgia. However, she’s not one of the educators the Libs of TikTok account freaks out over because she’s a hardcore religious conservative.

Despite living in Georgia all her life, Taylor doesn’t believe the state government actually represents people like herself. However, that more likely means she’s afraid the government no longer exclusively represents people like her.

I'm represented by a bunch of men who don't care anything about us. And some women, too, who are there for the wrong reasons. And I couldn't complain if I wasn't willing to do something about it myself.

Taylor has run for Senate twice and failed. (She received less than one percent of the vote in the 2020 special election.) So, now she’s running for governor as an anti-establishment outsider. That’s one way to make her past failures worthwhile. It’s an “I meant to do that” political strategy.

I’m the only one who’s running who’s not establishment. Money is all involved in politics. How much you’ve raised makes you viable or not, and I want us to put morality first.

Her morality is clearly marked on her campaign bus that bears the large words “Jesus,” “Guns,” and “Babies.” Her smiling likeness is even larger. She told a local Fox affiliate last month that "Jesus, guns, and babies kind of sums up how we are as Americans.” She further evangelized:

Jesus being the First Amendment right to worship whoever you choose freely: for me, it's him. And then guns, because it's our Second Amendment right to bear arms to protect ourselves from the tyrannical government, or to protect our safety. Then babies because none of us would be here if our mommas didn't choose to have us.

Taylor obviously misses the irony of using the word “choose” when describing her extremist anti-abortion views. It was always creepy and weird when conservatives talked about stockpiling guns for some future war against their own government, but the January 6 insurrection was just last year. Republicans are openly seditionist and refusing to recognize the legitimacy of any election Democrats win. The Second Amendment rhetoric no longer feels like bluster. It sounds like a threat.

The professional educator also rails against the "critical race theory, social-emotional learning, and comprehensive sex education” in Georgia schools she believes “teach communism, oppression and conversion to our children.” Jesus apparently wasn’t known for his empathy so conservatives resent their kids learning to care about people who are the slightest bit different.

Taylor is all but sure to lose next month's primary election, but she’s establishing a brand for herself. We unfortunately haven’t seen the last of her.

Oh, and please don’t make fun of her accent in the comments. It’s not a “Saturday Night Live” parody. Actual humans do speak this way. I grew up around them. That’s not what makes her terrible.

[JoeMyGod / Twitter / Forsyth County News]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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