Rand Paul Has Thoughts On Russia, Ukraine, NATO. They Are Pretty Much Putin's Thoughts.

Usually when you see Rand Paul trending on Twitter, it means he's opened his insolent mouth toward someone far more respectable than he during a Senate hearing, and everyone is appalled. Or maybe it just means his neighbor has charged him with a riding lawn mower.

But yesterday it was the first thing. Secretary of State Antony Blinken visited the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to talk about Russia and Ukraine, and Paul, a garbage isolationist seditionist troll who's been accused more than once of being all the way up Vladimir Putin's ass, thought he could open his mouth without embarrassing himself. We don't know where he got that idea, but we blame his parents for filling his head with lies like "what a handsome boy!" and "you're good enough!" when he was a child.

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So Paul was talking at Blinken, and it was going poorly. Paul spouted Kremlin talking points, similar to those vomited by Tucker Carlson, that Russia's chosen war on Ukraine was Joe Biden's fault, because Biden somehow was forcing Ukraine to join NATO. All of that is bullshit, but Vladimir Putin loves to hear it.

Then Paul shoehorned in a few more of Putin's dogwhistles about the history of the world and restoring the glory of the former Soviet Union.

BLINKEN: If you look at the countries that Russia has attacked over the last years, Georgia, leaving forces in Transnistria in Moldova, and then repeatedly Ukraine, these are countries that were not part of NATO. It has not attacked NATO countries for probably good reasons.

PAUL: You could also argue the countries they've attacked were part of Russia.

Oh, Vladimir Putin would argue that. And repeatedly has.

PAUL: Or were part of the Soviet Union.

Blinken reminded the wayward fuckstick senator that it is the "fundamental right of these countries to decide their own future and their own destiny," reminding Paul that Vladimir Putin actually doesn't have a right to claim countries for Russia simply because he sticks a flag in them.

But Paul was not deterred.

PAUL: I'm saying that the countries that have been attacked, Georgia and Ukraine, were part of the Soviet Union, and they were part of the Soviet Union since the 1920s ...

BLINKEN: But that does not give Russia the right to attack them. On the contrary ...

PAUL: No one's saying it does, but ...

BLINKEN: They were liberated from being part of this empire by force.

Bet that sent a thrill up Putin's leg.

Paul insisted he wasn't trying to offer a "justification for the invasion," but merely "reasons." You know, like his garbled horseshit about how Biden caused this, because NATO, even though that's not why Putin invaded. Paul said that if Ukraine had become part of NATO, then American troops would have to be fighting in Ukraine now. Of course, that applies to every NATO country, so unless he's explicitly taking Russia's side against the free world, his point is kind of fucking irrelevant.

Rand Paul really doesn't want Ukraine in NATO, though. Look at this motherfucker:

Does Rand Paul want anyone in NATO?

Right here it's worth remembering a thing that happened several years back, which Wonkette wrote about at time, and which Rachel Maddow brought up last night in setting up this story.

Back in 2017, the Senate was debating letting Montenegro into NATO. (That's the world leader Donald Trump totally shoved that one time, if you remember that. Trump was against letting Montenegro into NATO, for what must have been very important reasons and not just marching orders from Putin, who literally fomented a coup in 2016 to try to stop Montenegro from joining the European Union.)


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We Have Always Been At War With ... Montenegro???

And during that debate, the late John McCain said you'd have to be a total idiot to oppose Montenegro joining, and that if you do oppose it, you literally work for Putin. Rand Paul responded by huffing and puffing and queening the fuck out of the room, because McCain wasn't being real subtle about how he was directly talking shit about Paul. After Paul stormed out, McCain noted that Paul hadn't given "justification or any rationale" for his opposition. And then McCain said it again:

"The only conclusion you can draw, when he walks away, is he has no argument to be made. He has no justification for his objection to having a small nation be part of NATO that is under assault from the Russians. So I repeat again, the senator from Kentucky is now working for Vladimir Putin."

Sure, you can say that on the Senate floor, but you can't read a letter from Coretta Scott King.

And now here is Rand Paul reaching down into his own small intestine and pulling out literal actual Russian propaganda about how it's not that big a deal -- or at least somehow different -- for Putin to be warring on Ukraine and Georgia and God knows who's next, looks like Moldova, because after all they used to be "Russia" or "Soviet Union" or whatever.

Quite a pattern he's got going here. Quiiiiite a pattern.

[New York Daily News]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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