Can Tom Cotton Out-Racist Donald Trump In A GOP Primary?

2024 presidential election
Can Tom Cotton Out-Racist Donald Trump In A GOP Primary?

Tom Cotton, whose sole redeeming feature is that he doesn’t have Ted Cruz’s beard, plans to punish us all with a presidential run in 2024.

Arkansas’s junior US senator reportedly met with two dozen wealthy people who hate America enough to give this asshole money. He described his potential White House campaign and insisted that he’s not about to clear the field for Donald Trump’s “don’t call it a comeback” bid.

Cotton’s top political adviser, Brian Colas, blinded the donors with science: He delivered a 15-slide PowerPoint presentation that boasted about how Cotton and his team had “studied dozens of past Republican presidential campaigns” and "concluded that early national recognition and attention had little bearing on the eventual success of candidates.”

OK, let’s consider the two Republican presidents elected since Cotton was able to vote: Donald Trump was a reality TV star and household name when he launched his campaign, and George W. Bush was the literal son of a former president. I’m not sure I agree 100 percent with the PowerPoint deck’s police work.

PREVIOUSLY: New York Times HAD To Let Tom Cotton Write About The Joys Of Fascist Occupation, Because JOURNALISM
What was determinative, Colas argued, was performance in Iowa and New Hampshire, which host the first two nominating contests.

Colas said that because Cotton ran unopposed for reelection in 2020, he was able to get a head start on developing a donor base and making outreach to activists in both states. He noted that Cotton had already made repeated trips to Iowa and New Hampshire — since 2020, he has gone to Iowa six times and to New Hampshire four times.

After Colas’s gripping PowerPoint presentation, Cotton got up and pitched himself like a crappy informercial product. He boasted about his appeal to the GOP’s populist (racist) and establishment (still racist) wings. This is arguably a liability more than an asset. Anyone who dares challenge Trump in 2024 can’t have the taint of the establishment on them. Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis can at least position himself as a Washington DC outsider.

PREVIOUSLY: Tom Cotton Is A Flaming Garbage Racist, Thank You For Coming To Our TED Talk

Cotton also publicly defied Trump when he refused his sedition call to block President Joe Biden’s Electoral College victory. Trump rage tweeted: "How can you certify an election when the numbers being certified are verifiably WRONG. You will see the real numbers tonight during my speech, but especially on JANUARY 6th. @SenTomCotton, Republicans have pluses & minuses, but one thing is sure, THEY NEVER FORGET!”

Cotton made it very clear that he wasn’t voting to certify Biden’s win because he liked him. He even tried flattering Trump: "I'm grateful for what the president accomplished over the past four years, which is why I campaigned vigorously for his reelection. But objecting to certified electoral votes won't give him a second term — it will only embolden those Democrats who want to erode further our system of constitutional government.”

Of course, Trump is far too much of a malignant narcissist to appreciate nuance. He likely still holds a grudge and will feel personally attacked if Cotton challenges him for the nomination. Politico doesn’t reveal if any of those 15 PowerPoint slides explains how a Republican candidate is supposed to run against Trump and not wind up marked for an at-home insurrection. Cotton should’ve considered voting for Trump's second annual impeachment, which could’ve spared the nation another Trump campaign and active coup attempt.

Cotton has $8 million in his Senate campaign committee account that he can use to fund his presidential ambitions. That should get him through the early stages of a campaign so more Americans can learn what a smug creep he is.


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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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