Herschel Walker Knows How Many States There Are

Once upon a time in 2008 — before you were born, probably — Barack Obama was on the campaign trail, and oh golly he said a gaffe! He said he had been campaigning and campaigning, and that he had visited 57 states so far with one more to go. What a stupid! What a biiiiiig stupid, and he was dumb, and he was bad, and he should have felt bad.

In reality, he was tired. It was pretty clear upon examination he meant to say "47." Barack Obama knew how many states there were.

But HAW HAW, he said "57 states"! Make fun of him for 100 years!

And oh, it was such a wonderful attack for racist Republicans, just like when Tucker Carlson or Jesse Watters or (here's a late breaking one!) Newt Gingrich talks about Kamala Harris, a human who is superior to those mediocre white man losers in every way, as if she is some empty windsock who only got where she is by sleeping her way there. (This week, Gingrich said, "She doesn't know anything, she doesn't know how to learn anything, she's inarticulate, and she's not sure what the big words mean anyway.")

When Republicans used the "57 states" thing to make fun of Barack Obama, it was their way of calling him stupid, something they rarely got to do because the thing about Barack Obama was that he was obviously brilliant, more worldly, funnier, more handsome, pretty much everybody assumed far bigger dick, more EVERYTHING than they were.

No one who mattered looked at the average Republican politician next to Obama and wished they were the Republican. No one. And they knew it.

Herschel Walker said on Tuesday that Stacey Abrams — brilliant, worldly, funny, etc. etc. Stacey Abrams — should move to another state, and that she has 51 others besides Georgia to choose from.

HAW HAW! He said there are 52 states! Make fun of him for 100 years!

No, but really, you should.

Walker said it on the Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, one of those weird wingnut subculture outfits that nobody knows about if they're not a MAGA loser. “If you don’t believe in the country, leave and go somewhere else,” said Walker. “If it’s the worst state, why are you here? Why don’t you leave ― go to another? There’s, what, 51 more other states that you can go to?” (That's not exactly what she said, but we don't expect a Republican to understand the nuance.)

Herschel Walker said what he said because his brain is, by all appearances, broken. It's no different from any of the words that come out of the mouths of Sarah Palin or Donald Trump.

Is that unfair? Fuck you. This is the man who just told us Jesus had multiple personalities, and before that said we could do something about mass shootings if we had a "department that can look at young men that's looking at women that's looking at social media." Y'all hear his thoughts on evolution?

And when he's not saying something stupid he's lying.

And he's the GOP nominee for senator in the state of Georgia, the man they picked to run against Raphael Warnock, the actual pastor of the Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, who was the great John Lewis's pastor.

Republicans have this thing about picking the absolute stupidest, worst person to run whenever Democrats are running one of the very best. It's their own special way of sticking it to America.

Vote in November, Georgians.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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