Everybody Pretty Sure Supreme Court Worthless, Illegitimate, Full Of Sh*t, Not Their Real Dad
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Good morning. Will the Supreme Court enshrine Sam Alito's one-handedmisogyny scrawlings into law in the next hour and drop the ruling in Dobbs, the case that will overturn Roe v. Wade? Who knows! It's a decision day, though. (UPDATE: They did it. They fuckin' did it.)

Yay! We get to sit around and wait to see what rights we'll have at the end of the day, and which ones will go away because a bunch of partisan hacks decided their stupid garbage religious beliefs should supersede our right to live in a free society!

Democracy!

Anyway, yeah, those motherfuckers can eat shit, and according to new polling, America agrees.


A whopping 25 PERCENT of Americans have confidence in the Court, says Gallup, which notes that number is down from 36 percent last year. They are not falling from great heights. Quite frankly, people haven't had a ton of confidence in the Court for a long time according to this polling, but it's really gone to hell now that it's sunk in just exactly what these trolls — Alito, Clarence Thomas, John Roberts, the Trump pick in Merrick Garland's seat, the Trump pick who's been credibly accused of sexual assault, and the Trump pick leaving a foul stench all over Ruth Bader Ginsburg's office — plan to do with the majority that was given to them without America's consent.

Haha, we said "consent." That's a big word! Go off and have dictionary time, Trump judges, you are excused.

When the Court overturns Roe, they will be doing it against the wishes of a supermajority of the country. It remains to be seen how much respect that supermajority will have for that ruling. Clarence Thomas recently said Americans need to just learn to "live with outcomes we don't agree with." Off to the dictionary with him to look up that big word too. While he's at it, he could look up "sedition" and "my wife."

But again, let's put a fine point on what the Court is about to do, because Gallup puts a fine point on it: "The Supreme Court is likely to issue one of its most consequential rulings at a time when public confidence in the institution has never been lower."

Yeah.

Yesterday, the Court ruled to severely limit people's Miranda rights. They also made sure to expand the federal government's ability to protect the precious rights of guns, because of how states obviously are not able to decide for themselves if they want to severely regulate concealed-carry weapons. If Alito's incel rub-and-tug abortion opinion stands, the Court will make the exact opposite argument, that states must be allowed to decide the legality of abortion for themselves, and they will do it with a straight face, because these are not real judges, they are ideologues and they are fucking clowns and no child should ever admire them.

Oh yeah, and also this term the Court has voted essentially to make "separation of church and state" a curse word, and has ruled that large companies aren't allowed to require their employees to be either tested or vaccinated for COVID-19. Click here for a handy New York Times interactive of all the shits this Court has taken this year, and just how out of step with the American public we are.

Oh, and we haven't even delved into how much the Court has skullfucked Americans using its secretive "shadow docket," where it makes rulings that hurt millions of Americans — like when it upheld Texas's abortion bounty hunter law! — without so much as hearing an argument.

Start watching SCOTUSblog at 10 a.m. Maybe today is the day Samuel Alito — click that link to remind yourself what a cretin he really is — officially appoints himself the crossing guard of the nation's uteruses, maybe it isn't.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

[Gallup]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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