Live From Madrid, It's The President Of America!
Joe Biden, European Commission Pres. Ursula von der Leyen, & European Council Pres. Charles Michel, June 2021. EU Photo.

President Joe Biden has been at the NATO Summit this week, and according to various websites he is holding a news conference in Madrid. Allegedly.

We are sure he will have a lot to talk about, or maybe he will just make fun of Vladimir Putin's nipples the whole time -- oh no, there is a reason for that joke, it is important international business -- who even knows.

Let's watch it together and find out!

8:59: Oh, look who is basically on time!

OK so far Biden has said happy words about Sweden and Finland joining NATO and he accidentally called Sweden "Switzerland" because he said he was just so excited about these new NATO members.

He is also very excited that Germany and a bunch of others are getting very close to spending the agreed-upon two percent of GDP that NATO members are supposed to be spending on their own national defense. This is the thing Donald Trump was always trying and failing to understand, when he would act like Germany had failed to make a deposit in a bank account for which he had an ATM card.

9:02: Biden says he told Putin the whole world would line up against him because of the Ukraine war, and oh look, there were all these Indo-Pacific nations at the NATO summit, wonder how they got there.

Also Biden says screw you Joe Manchin, if he can't do Build Back Better at home, he will do "infrastructure week" for the WHOLE WORLD and guess what Joe Manchin does not have veto power over? World.

To be clear, Biden did not say Manchin's name, we are just reading through the lines and correctly assessing who is a piece of shit here.

9:06: OK, time for questions! Biden didn't make any comments about any of the shitshows going on back in America. But an AP reporter is asking about how goddamn awful everything is and how everybody in America thinks everything is terrible and also everybody in the world thinks America is going backward.

Biden says none of the world leaders think America is going backward, but he is pissed about the "outrageous behavior of the Supreme Court." Seems to suggest that's pretty much our current national embarrassment, and he is right about that.

9:07: Biden says he knows people are frustrated, and we have to codify Roe. AP reporter's second question, G-7 leaders (Biden was at G-7 before this) said they'd support Ukraine "as long as it takes." What does that mean? Will Biden support Ukraine "as long as it takes," or do those words not mean things?

Biden notes that what the world has done to Russia has had an effect, the sanctions have hurt them, they just defaulted on their foreign debt for the first time in over 100 years. Notes today that Ukrainians just took back Snake Island. Notes Russia tried to take Kyiv, failed, notes Russia has tried to control the Donbas, failed, "as long as it takes" mean as long as it takes.

9:11: Next question from the New York Times, basically the war has pushed our gas prices up, how long is it fair to ask Americans and others around the world to pay more because of the Russian war against Ukraine. Biden says as long as it takes, and why do we have NATO otherwise?

9:14: Biden reminds world that gas prices are high because RUSSIA. Food crisis exists because RUSSIA will not let grain out of Ukraine.

Now Bloomberg reporter has his turn. Asks about promises Biden made to Turkey's Erdogan about airplanes. (You might have seen that Erdogan officially dropped his shit yesterday over Sweden and Finland joining NATO.)

Second question, is Joe Biden going to ask the crown prince of Saudi Arabia on his trip to increase oil production, and how can he balance that with Saudi human rights abuses. Biden says that's not why he's taking this trip, he's starting in Israel, this trip is in Saudi Arabia but it is not about Saudi Arabia. Sounds like his point is, he's not going to some bilateral meeting with the king and crown prince, it's about a "whole range of things."

Bloomberg asks if Biden sees the crown prince in the hallway, will he ask them to increase oil production. Biden says this meeting is with all gulf states and he wants them all to do that.

9:18:Wall Street Journal copying everybody else and doing two questions instead of just one. Is Biden changing his strategies around how and how fast assistance to Ukraine should happen in light of how Zelenskyy said the war really needs to be over before the winter. Biden says the war could be over tomorrow if Russia fucking left.

Next question, what will Biden really do about the atrocious Supreme Court decision. Will he declare a public health emergency? Says he's meeting with governors when he gets home, will make announcements then, says we should do a carve-out in the filibuster to codify Roe into law.

Kelly O'Donnell from NBC News notes that Biden did make news right there saying he'd support taking a bite out of the filibuster to do that.

9:22: O'DONNELL: Can America trust the Supreme Court to be impartial? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Also asks if Biden is the best messenger right now, since his own views on abortion have kinda "evolved" over the years. He says yeah he is the best messenger because he is the president. Also some other blah blah blah blah blah.

Didn't really answer the question about if the Supreme Court is a collection of partisan hacks and a piece of shit, but we don't think he was avoiding it, they just all asked double questions.

ANYWAY, it is over, tip your bartenders if you like spontaneous liveblogs from Wonkette, goodbye!

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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