Raise Your Hand If Your Friend Of 30 Years Cut An Ad Calling You A Piece Of Sh*t Today

National Politics
Raise Your Hand If Your Friend Of 30 Years Cut An Ad Calling You A Piece Of Sh*t Today

Eric Greitens, a piece of shit

We reckon things aren't going so great in your personal life or your public life or your running-for-political-office life when a guy who used to be one of your best friends feels compelled to put a video on the internet telling you to stop running to be a senator from Missouri, telling you to get your shit together, and telling the world what a piece of garbage you've become.

What's sad is that if context clues and the picture above didn't tell you this was about Eric Greitens, we feel like it could be about just about any Republican currently running for office.

The tweet says, "I have known @EricGreitens for 30 years. He is a broken man, who will do anything, including inciting violence, to regain power. He’s not the same person whose weddings I went to. Eric, drop out. Try to repair the damage you have done, to your family, your country, and yourself."

It's from a gentleman named Ken Harbaugh, who explains that he went to Duke with Greitens — who went on to become governor of Missouri, resigned in disgrace after a really disgusting sexual assault scandal, and now wants to be the state's US senator even as the dirty laundry continues to come out in the custody dispute between Greitens and his ex-wife Sheena Chestnut Greitens. Harbaugh says Greitens must be in a "dark place" to be conducting himself as he now is.

Harbaugh, a Democrat who ran for Congress in Ohio in 2018, goes on to bust Greitens out for how they went to the 2008 Democratic National Convention together, and how excited Greitens was about Barack Obama being elected. (Or at least we read that as a subtle dig.) He talks about how they ran a veterans organization together.

He talks about when Greitens decided to run for governor as a Republican, and how he gave him money because he, Harbaugh, a Democrat, figured a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage Republican governor in Missouri wouldn't be all bad. Harbaugh's mom gave Greitens money.

Now Greitens is making ads like this "RINO hunting" thing he came out with a couple weeks ago, which featured him doing home invasions to murder his political opponents with his big loud peener substitute:

"What you're doing now is not honorable," says Harbaugh in his video. Harbaugh continues:

Your call to hunt down Republicans who disagree with you? That's my mom, Eric. Just because she doesn't think the election was stolen — and let's be honest, you don't either — is not a reason to threaten her."

Harbaugh says his mom was one of the few people to reach out to Greitens with grace when, again, he had to resign as governor because of an absolutely vile sexual assault scandal.

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch has more on the longtime friendship of Harbaugh and Greitens, and more on what led to this, should you be interested in reading it. They note that neither Greitens nor his campaign have responded to this message from Harbaugh, but Greitens did post this ad about 40 minutes after Harbaugh's video went up. It's just more Eric Greitens waving around his big peener substitute gun and blowing stuff up, because we guess he thinks we all find that manly.

What a sad, deranged piece of shit. And what a winner a guy must be when his friends of 30 years are making videos like Ken Harbaugh had to make.

Sad thing is we bet it doesn't do a damn bit of good. That guy is far beyond the reaches of grace.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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