New Uvalde School Shooting Report Reveals Cops Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks Who Ever Sucked

New Uvalde School Shooting Report Reveals Cops Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks Who Ever Sucked

Sunday, an investigative report was released about the police response to the gun massacre at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas. It’s pretty damning, with searing criticism for state and federal law enforcement, as well as local authorities. A whopping 376 officers showed up at the scene on May 24 but mostly stood around like dopes for an hour due to “egregiously poor decision making.”

From the Associated Press:

“At Robb Elementary, law enforcement responders failed to adhere to their active shooter training, and they failed to prioritize saving innocent lives over their own safety,” the report said.

The gunman fired approximately 142 rounds inside the building — and it is “almost certain” that at least 100 shots came before any officer entered, according to the report, which laid out in detail numerous failures.

Buckle up and grab a tissue, as we recount the many failures that led to 21 dead humans, including 19 children. Thirty-eight people in total were gunned down.

PREVIOUSLY: Uvalde School Surveillance Video Underlines How Much Nothing Cops Did For 77 Long Minutes

No one assumed command of the officers, even though there were enough present to film an entire season of "Law & Order: Especially Useless Unit.” A Border Patrol tactical team commander waited — while children were murdered — for a bulletproof shield and a master key for the classroom door. The school police chief, Pete Arredondo, frantically searched for a key but didn’t think to ask the fucking principal, who had one. Here’s an especially appalling sentence from the New York Times account: "The usefulness of a specialized tool to pry open the door was tested but then rejected as too dangerous to officers.” Such heroism.

Uvalde Police Chief Pete Arredondo called acting chief Lt. Mariano Pargas and told him to set up a command post. Pargas moved across the street to an office at a funeral home but wandered off shortly afterward. The report concludes that “this did not result in the establishment of an effective command post.”

No one tried to breach the classroom despite multiple 911 calls from terrified children. Everyone assumed someone else was on it. None of the officers suggested “shifting to an active shooter-style response or otherwise acting more urgently to breach the classrooms.”

The report found that a "flawless police response would not have saved most of the victims” — this is why we need to ban AR-15s, by the way — but a competent one might’ve saved some of the victims who died on the way to the hospital. The report states in a final footnote that “it is plausible that some victims could have survived if they had not had to wait” for rescue.

GOP state Rep. Dustin Burrows, who spearheaded the investigation, said at a news conference on Sunday that there ‘were multiple systemic failures” with the police response: “Several officers in the hallway or in that building knew or should have known there [were people] dying in that classroom, and they should have done more, acted with urgency.”

The courts have repeatedly ruled that police have no legal obligation to actually protect and serve. Cops are arguably trained to prioritize their own safety over the lives of anyone they encounter. This is how they’ve justified the deaths of unarmed Black people, and this same callous disregard for human life is what was on display at Robb Elementary.

“It’s a joke. They’re a joke. They’ve got no business wearing a badge. None of them do,” Vincent Salazar, grandfather of 11-year-old Layla Salazar, who was among those killed, said Sunday.
After Sunday’s report, Uvalde Mayor Don McLaughlin announced that Lt. Mariano Pargas, the acting chief during the shooting, was placed on administrative leave. Let’s hope he rests well during his paid vacation.

[The New York Times / Associated Press]

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Stephen Robinson

Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."


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