Trump Can't Wait To Run For President Because Feds Can't Find Him There

Donald Trump is very likely to announce he's running for president sometime around September, and reportedly Republican bigwigs are fuckin' terrified about that. Want to change the subject completely from "inflation" and "Biden is old" for the midterms and let voters' loathing of Trump motivate them to the polls?

Make it all about you, buddy, go for it!

According to a new Rolling Stone report from Asawin Suebsaeng and Adam Rawnsley, Trump is saying out loud that he really needs to be president again so that the law doesn't finally catch up to him.

In recent months, Trump has made clear to associates that the legal protections of occupying the Oval Office are front-of-mind for him, four people with knowledge of the situation tell Rolling Stone.

Trump has “spoken about how when you are the president of the United States, it is tough for politically motivated prosecutors to ‘get to you,'” says one of the sources, who has discussed the issue with Trump this summer. “He says when [not if] he is president again, a new Republican administration will put a stop to the [Justice Department] investigation that he views as the Biden administration working to hit him with criminal charges — or even put him and his people in prison."

Among many other crimes Donald Trump has committed in plain sight, he incited a terrorist attack against the United States of America and tried to overthrow the country in order to keep power. He and his people should be under the prison.

The Rolling Stone report acknowledges that the GOP really doesn't want Trump to fuck everything up for them by announcing early, but it says this whole threat of prosecution thing is really keeping this at the front of Trump's mind and keeping him awake at night:

He “said something like, ‘[prosecutors] couldn’t get away with this while I was president,’” another one of the four sources recalls. “It was during a larger discussion about the investigations, other possible 2024 [primary] candidates, and what people were saying about the Jan. 6 hearings … He went on for a couple minutes about how ‘some very corrupt’ people want to ‘put me in jail.’”

Rolling Stone does a nice job succinctly reminding readers of all the different lawsuits and investigations Trump and people in his orbit currently face, but it says many in Trumpworld are really hoping underlings will get prosecuted for January 6, but not Trump. Idiot lawyer John Eastman and Mark Meadows are mentioned as people who might get thrown to the bottom of a lake. You know, because of how Trump is very impressionable and never would have done any of these terrible things if he hadn't fallen in with the wrong crowd.

There is no rule against prosecuting somebody who is running for president, but we all know the Justice Department and FBI theoretically have policies (when Hillary Clinton's Hotmail account isn't involved, at least) that keep them from doing things that appear overtly political close to elections. It should be obvious to anyone that these rules shouldn't apply to people who only announce they are running for president two years early because they want immunity from the consequences of their actions.

Laurence Tribe makes a very good point here:

We worry Merrick Garland just doesn't have the backbone to take that advice, but we'd love to be proven wrong.

In news related to the inevitable forthcoming announcement from the coup inciter, Charlie Sykes notes a number of polls this morning in his newsletter that suggest Trump might not be the first choice for GOP primary voters anymore, especially in Florida, where Ron DeSantis really might have a leg up on the old crusty shitbag.


How legit is any of this at this point? Who knows. But it sure would be wild if all this talk of Trump announcing his candidacy years ahead of time to escape the feds turned out to be talk about a candidate who couldn't even win the GOP primary.

Only time will tell.

Meanwhile, Matt Viser at the Washington Posthas a thing this morning about how Joe Biden will definitely run again if Trump announces, because he's pretty sure he's still the best guy to beat Trump. Seems like that's exactly the malarkey Biden wants in his life right now, and to be honest, we can see why, if it helped remind American voters currently giving Biden crapass approval ratings what the alternative really is:

“I’m not predicting,” Biden recently told an Israeli TV interviewer, when asked about a Trump-Biden rematch. “But I would not be disappointed.”

In summary and in conclusion, Trump is running, and also hiding (from the law), Biden is running and not hiding, and Merrick Garland could solve a lot of America's problems if Mike Pence had the courage, haha, that joke will never not be funny.

[Rolling Stone]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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