Ted Cruz Says We're A Go For Butt Stuff

Ted Cruz, because he is an unlikeable bigot, was one of the first senators after the Supreme Court overturned Roe to express how icky he also finds Obergefell, the ruling that brought marriage equality to the entire United States. However, he paid lip service to the notion that he doesn't really want the Court to actually overturn that one. He thinks it would be "chaotic." And besides, he thinks the Court really doesn't want to do that anyway, so we should probably all stop being so hysterical.

Of course, none of that means Cruz will vote to enshrine marriage equality in law with the marriage equality bill coming his way. Pffffft.

But he does have a message for the state lawmakers of Texas, and it is Let My People Have Butt Stuff. We are as surprised as you are! His office, according to the Dallas Morning News, believes Texas should get rid of its old crusty unenforceable sodomy laws.

“Consenting adults should be able to do what they wish in their private sexual activity, and government has no business in their bedrooms,” Cruz’s spokesman told The Dallas Morning News.

We agree with Ted Cruz, butt stuff for everyone who'd like some!

His office also says he thinks the sodomy ban is an "uncommonly silly law." The Dallas Morning News suggests this may not be that surprising, since Cruz, back in 2003, was the state's top appeals attorney, and it was his job to defend the state's stupid sodomy law at the Supreme Court in the case that ultimately overturned it. Cruz declined and made some underling do it.

Of course, this is all in the news because that case, Lawrence v. Texas, was one of the ones Clarence Thomas specifically mentioned in his concurring opinion overturning Roe, as another case maybe the Supreme Court should come for next.

And look, if you want to read all the tortured states rights garbage logic that may have led Ted Cruz to his current positions both on marriage equality and butt stuff and marriage equality, read that full Dallas Morning News article.

And don't let it lead you to think Cruz is anything less than an absolute piece of shit, and don't throw a go-go boy's thong at Ted Cruz's face and ask him to wear it in the pride parade. First of all, that's disgusting. Second of all, made you imagine Ted Cruz in a thong. Third of all:

“While we welcome bipartisan support to repeal an antiquated and harmful law, we must ensure that the same government overreach is not replicated with trans health care today,” said Ricardo Martinez, CEO of the LGBT rights group Equality Texas.


But Nathan Johnson, the state senator who filed a bill last session to repeal the unenforceable, stupid law, says he'll do it again, and maybe with a "little more optimism than last time around" because Cruz came out and said this.

So great, it's Thursday, July 28, 2022, and Ted Cruz is on the correct side of butt stuff, but almost certainly for stupid reasons. But hey, at least he wasn't like Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, who grunted affirmative words about defending state law, when asked if he would enforce the sodomy ban, given the opportunity.

At least he wasn't like Ken Paxton. That is the nicest thing we will ever say about Ted Cruz.

[Dallas Morning News / h/t Joe.My.God]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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