Herschel Walker’s Pretty Sure He Can Whoop Elie Mystal In Georgia Senate Race
Herschel Walker, an honest-to-God Republican Senate nominee, has spent the past week or so dodging any attempt to schedule a debate with Georgia’s incumbent Democratic Sen. Raphael Warnock. It seems as if he’d much prefer debating with The Nation’s Elie Mystal, who isn’t running for the Senate and doesn’t even live in Georgia — although that didn’t stop Walker.
Walker was personally offended when Mystal expressed how personally offended he was over Walker’s slow-motion train wreck of a candidacy, which might still somehow reach its final destination. This weekend, Mystal and MSNBC’s Tiffany Cross discussed an Atlanta-Journal Constitution poll that showed Warnock leading Walker 46 to 43 percent, well within the margin of error. Somehow, eight percent of Georgia voters remain undecided.
“Make it make sense for me,” Cross asked Mystal, who proceeded to drop several truth bombs.
MYSTAL: Yes, it’s going to be a close election in Georgia because Walker has the backing of the Republicans. Now, you ask, why are Republicans backing this man who’s so clearly unintelligent, who so clearly doesn’t have independent thoughts? But that’s actually the reason. Walker’s going to do what he’s told. And that’s what Republicans like. That’s what Republicans want from their Negroes. To do what they’re told. And Walker presents exactly as a person who lacks independent thoughts, lacks an independent agenda, lacks an independent ability to grasp policies.
Mystal compared a potential Senator Walker to current Senator Tommy Tuberville, whom he considers “the dumbest person in the United States Senate.” Hey, Wonkette agrees!
MYSTAL: So the GOP likes these candidates that aren’t able to kind of think for themselves, because that ... basically means that Mitch McConnell gets three votes every time he shows up to work as opposed to just his own.
This is obviously true, as no Republican seriously believes Walker is qualified to serve in the Senate as anything more than an extension of McConnell’s will. In fairness, they don’t require anything more. They need “no" votes when a Democrat’s president and “yes" votes when a Republican’s ruining the country.
Rightwing media apparently spent the weekend aghast on Walker’s behalf, and the candidate himself — wearing a “Team Me” T-shirt — recorded a video response where he claims that Mystal called him “the n-word.” That’s not true but we’ve established that Walker lies a lot.
\u201cAlso. No one called him the N word. Obviously. But I don\u2019t think his tribe bothers too much with evidence and facts. \ud83e\udd37\ud83c\udffd\u200d\u2640\ufe0f\u201d— @tiffanydcross (@@tiffanydcross) 1659440653
WALKER: Good morning! You know a lot of people have been asking me to say something about the man on MSNBC that called me the “n-word.” Here’s what I got to say about that: Shame on MSNBC and shame on them. I’m gonna pray for both of them, because they need Jesus! When I saw what he said, it reminded me of the differences between myself and my opponent, Senator Warnock, and the leftwing crazies who believe America is a fundamentally bad country full of racist people. They want to divide us and turn us against each other. We have our problems but we can solve them together ...
Zzzzz ... sorry, dozed off for a second there. You get the gist of his treacle. Walker is going on about U-N-I-T-Y while Republicans call Democrats radical socialist “groomers” who hate America. But Walker gives Republicans the warm fuzzies whenever he suggests that Democrats, especially two Black people on MSNBC, are the real racists.
Here’s where I’d disagree slightly with Mystal, who argues that Walker is an insult to actual Black conservatives. Walker’s a bad joke who has no actual policy positions he can articulate without fumbling, but this is arguably true of all Republicans these days regardless of race. Warnock is a great senator and I’d hate to see this living brain donor replace him, but Walker's not any dumber or less qualified than Marsha Blackburn or any more craven and dishonest than Ted Cruz.
Cross invited Walker to appear on her show and share his "thoughts on voting rights, reproductive health, domestic terrorism, gun rights, economic woes, etc” and how he plans to address these serious issues in the Senate. Instead, Walker spent the day with Brian Kilmeade for a glowing segment on "Fox & Friends.” Let’s hope they didn’t stop for ice cream. That would’ve really crushed all his secret kids.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."