Josh Hawley Probably Had Very Good Reason For Golosovatʹ Protiv Chlenstva Shvetsii i Finlyandii v NATO

Yesterday, the Senate voted 95 to Josh Hawley to affirm Sweden and Finland's entry into NATO.

In his speech explaining why, Hawley used subtly scary intonations when he said words like "expand NATO," as if that were a bad thing. He said it is in Finland's and Sweden's interests to expand NATO, but asked if it's in America's interests. It should be obvious to literally anyone that a strong and more united Europe is in the interest of American security and indeed security for the entire west.

Of course, the gigant·skiy russkiy medvedʹ in the room is that refusing to admit Sweden and Finland to NATO redounds to the benefit of just one country and its loser leader: Russia and Vladimir Putin.

The entire reason Sweden and Finland have decided to join NATO is because the world watched in horror in February when Putin decided, for no reason other than his own delusions of grandeur about creating a new holy Russian empire (and maybe also because one of his anal herpes was flaring up that week), to embark on a genocidal invasion of Ukraine, the country next to him. Finland, which also shares a long border with Russia, had long been reticent about joining up. No more!

As for Josh Hawley, the cheese stands alone in this situation, and we are pretty sure that's exactly how he wants it. (Even Ted Cruz baaaaaasically called him a moron.) Josh Hawley wants to be famous. Josh Hawley literally fist-bumps the sky in solidarity with anti-American terrorists. Josh Hawley runs away to make sure his effete lily-white ass doesn't get caught in the fracas once the terrorists have breached the door.

And look, we are not suggesting anything about anything, but if we were a young Republican with our eyes on stealing the presidency, we'd have a hard time not noticing that Russia's heart really didn't seem to be in its interference in the 2020 election for Donald Trump's benefit. We might wonder if Russia might not be ready to shift its allegiances to a newer, shinier model of authoritarian wannabe shitstain garbage. The old one may be too decrepit and pathetic.

So perhaps we might turn and face Moscow with our fist still raised up in the air and see what happens. How you say "pay it forward" in Russian?

Because there's one other cohort that benefits from keeping Sweden and Finland out of NATO, besides a fledgling Putin desperately trying to make the whole world respect his authori-tah, and it is the American Republicans who never loved the real America in the first place, who actively want to destroy the Constitution so they can turn the United States into a white supremacist Christian fascist state. In other words, pretty much any Republican with designs on power these days.

A future America remade in that image would be a natural ally of Putin's Russia. NATO would not be.

Donald Trump always hated NATO. When he looked out at the world, the leaders he saw and admired were the strongmen, the dictators, the murderers, the oppressors. That ain't NATO. That ain't the good guys.

Josh Hawley has just told us exactly which side he's on.

You'll be shocked to see where he walk-of-shamed to after his vote:

Man, we bet viewers of Russian state-run TV will be so sick of watching that Tucker clip by tomorrow.

Mission accomplished, Josh Hawley, right?

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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