Charlie Kirk Thinks Scott Perry Phone Seizure Is 'Separation Of Powers' Issue. Stay In School, Kids.

We know, two days of Charlie Kirk meltdowns in a row? Do doctors even recommend willfully exposing yourself to his poorly shaped face on such a regular basis? Is looking at Charlie Kirk's face for too long like getting Chernobyled? Can YOUR face start looking like that? And is there a vaccine for that?

But this week is a week for schadenfreude. Yesterday, we had Charlie being extremely extremely very extremely upset about the legal search of Donald Trump's ugly house in Florida and saying Republican attorneys general should retaliate against the FBI by doing their own raids of Black Lives Matter and Planned Parenthood and George Soros. Ayup.

Today we have Charlie being extremely extremely very extremely upset that Pennsylvania Rep. Scott Perry (R-Seditionist Human Trash) got his phone seized by the feds. Is this not a SEPARATION OF POWERS ISSUE, Charlie asks? We are guessing what little time Charlie spent in school wasn't all that productive.

CHARLIE KIRK (HOST): So, I guess you can just go and grab a lawmaker's cellphones now. How is that not a violation of separation of powers?

There are too stupid questions, kids. Stay in school.

How is that not a violation of the executive branch and the legislative branch being co-equal branches?

Stay in school!

Under this precedent, why can't the — Congress — if we get back Congress in January — just go walk into the FBI and grab all of their cellphones?

Did we mention stay in school? Kids, you should really stay in school. Otherwise you never know how you'll turn out. (*Wonkette wildly gestures toward picture above*)

Why can't Scott Perry, as chairman of the Freedom Caucus, just walk into the FBI and IRS building and just go grab all of their cellphones?

We'd like to see Scott Perry try to muster up the balls to do that. Please televise!

Anyway, Charlie just kept babbling and babbling and babbling. We got bored about the time he started drooling about Eric Swalwell and Chinese spies.

Again, children, there is a moral to this blog post story, and it is stay in school.

Wonkette exhaustively explained today all the reasons the January 6 Trump terrorist attack/coup-related reasons feds might need to see Scott Perry's Traitor Phone and therefore be able to — real slow for Charlie Kirk here — get a warrant for it. No need to go into it again, it's a fucking no-brainer. And Perry's a member of Congress, so there's no poorly reasoned memo jammed in a toilet paper dispenser at the Department of Justice that says he can't be indicted while in office. He can, and he very fucking well may be, very fucking soon.

And if that happens, we look forward to see the contortions Charlie Kirk's permanently contorted face makes about that.

Did we say stay in school, kids? It is a good idea to stay in school.


[Media Matters]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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