Trump Pretty Sure Ron DeSantis Going Single White Fascist On Him
It’s easy to forget, with all the coup-ing and low-rent gangster antics, that Donald Trump is also an emotionally damaged piece of shit.
Reports have circulated for a while about Trump’s growing resentment toward his personal All About Eve, Florida GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis. The Florida tyrant has been called the “smart Trump,” which isn’t sufficient for Mensa membership but is apparently enough for Republicans who want to move on from original recipe, extra-crooked Trump.
DeSantis, however, is what your objective observer might call a “big dork” whose only personality setting is “asshole.” Trump reportedly has noticed that the same guy who ran a shameless, suck-up ad describing himself as a “pit bull Trump supporter” is now stealing his act.
Oh, it’s as if there’s no more decency in Republican politics.
When Trump has seen video clips of of DeSantis speaking at public events over the past year and a half, the former president has scornfully mocked the ascendent Florida Republican for appearing to imitate Trump’s body language, movements, and even, at times, speaking rhythm. One of the other sources recalls Trump joking at a dinner event earlier this year that he’d ought to sue DeSantis for copyright infringement.
Trump, a soulless monster, famously has no actual sense of humor. We can imagine him seriously considering filing a lawsuit against DeSantis for “theft of mojo."
Rolling Stone notes that Trump has a "distinctive (and much-satirized) way of gesticulating while casually talking, delivering political speeches, or even ‘firing’ contestants on his former game show.” Yes, and it’s fucking goofy. That’s why it’s so embarrassing to watch DeSantis’s transparent Trump tribute act. He’s like an Elvis impersonator who specializes in his unpleasant death on the toilet.
The Recount first observed DeSantis’s Trump cosplay back in October, but Trump probably takes a while to process new information.
God, that’s pathetic.
Imagine thinking that Trump is someone worth emulating or believing that his weird assortment of verbal and physical tics is somehow the key to his inexplicable political success. The most positive thing you could honestly say about Trump is that he’s authentically awful. Mitt Romney wore dad jeans in a desperate attempt to connect with the common folk. Trump rarely removed his ill-fitting power suit. Trump disparaged prisoners of war and still won the 2016 Republican primary. DeSantis has adopted the belligerence and contempt for others — so have most Republicans — but he can’t even tweak the formula. No one wants a shoddy imitation of Trump.
Last week, New York Times columnist Jamelle Bouie mocked the "obviously silly idea” some Republicans have that DeSantis represents a “post-Trump” future. Bouie tweeted, “The man has literally adopted [T]rump’s posture and physical gestures."
DeSantis recently released another humiliating ad where he pretended he was Tom Cruise from Top Gun. That’s also something actual Donald Trump would never do. He’d probably insist at a rally that they based Maverick on him, after begging his permission while calling him "sir" a lot.
What’s interesting is that at least three people who’ve spoken to the one-term loser about DeSantis shared his frustration with Rolling Stone. Donald Trump Jr. laughably suggested that whatever deranged gibberish he tweets "ends up incorporated into the Florida governor’s talking points.”
This has happened enough times that Trump’s eldest son has come to believe, according to a person familiar with the matter, that DeSantis and his staff likely look to his Twitter account for inspiration and to raid it for their latest policy ideas or red-meat-hurling rhetoric.
Sure, Junior, your Twitter feed is the Holy Grail of right-wing culture war crap.
Fortunately for DeSantis, Donald Trump Jr. exists and makes everyone seem more impressive in contrast. Still, this isn’t the best press for DeSantis, who’s running for re-election to his current job. It makes him look (even more) ridiculous, when he’s been building a rep as a Republican leader who actively torments the powerless. That was once Trump’s beat. However, Republican gubernatorial candidates Tudor Dixon in Michigan and Doug Mastriano in Pennsylvania have both suggested they’ll make their states more like Florida if they win their elections.
Is Trump losing his grip on the party to a lumpen Memorex copy? It’s too soon to tell, but we support any and all tensions between those creeps.
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Stephen Robinson is a writer and social kibbitzer based in Portland, Oregon. He writes make believe for Cafe Nordo, an immersive theatre space in Seattle. Once, he wrote a novel called “Mahogany Slade,” which you should read or at least buy. He's also on the board of the Portland Playhouse theatre. His son describes him as a “play typer guy."