Lindsey Graham Nice Enough To Make Free Campaign Ad About Abortion, For Democrats

As promised, Republican Senator Lindsey Graham held his press conference at noon today, announcing his backwards-ass plan for a national abortion ban after 15 weeks, against the will of the people. He was flanked by a veritable who's who of female Christian Right leaders, because we guess they had enough PR sense to make it seem like the misogynistic events of the day at least didn't look that way, if you had the TV muted.

AS PROMISED! Lindsey Graham Has Flawless Plan To Step On Rake With National Abortion Ban!

Of course, it was misogynistic as fuck, as they spewed forth their forked-tongued lies about a medical procedure most Americans really would rather keep between them and their doctors.

In the process, Lindsey Graham, looking like he slept outside and woke up 20 minutes ago when the pavement on the right side of his face started getting hot, accidentally made a campaign ad. For Democrats. For free.

Graham promised that if Republicans take the House and the Senate there will definitely be a vote on his bill to make sure Lindsey Graham gets to be the boss of your privates just like Samuel Alito is boss of your privates. Likewise, he said if Democrats in charge, he doesn't know if Congress will EVER vote to come up with some kind of timeshare system whereby white Republican men take turns bossing around your privates.

You heard the man, America!

But wait, why are we here again? People have been noting today that several months ago, this very same Lindsey Graham who looks today like he slept in a dumpster after a rough night at the club said repealing Roe v. Wade would make abortion a state's rights issue. And now here he is trying to do a national abortion ban. How can Lindsey Graham explain this, outside of saying "Ha ha, what a liar I am"?

He said it's easy to explain, because when Democrats introduced a bill to codify abortion in American law, he "thought it'd be nice to introduce a bill to define who we are."

So that was a meaningless answer, from a meaningless man.

The rest of the presser was just unscientific, non-medical garbage and a breathtaking number of lies per minute.

Graham said repeatedly that at 15 weeks, fetuses can feel pain, because this is a religious-Right talking point. It's a lie, just like it's a lie to call a 15-week ban a "late-term abortion ban." It's firmly in the second trimester, and it's two months before a fetus would be viable, or able to survive outside the womb.

Graham lied and said at 15 weeks, a "strong majority of Americans believe abortion should be the exception, not the rule." We were not aware there was a contingent of Americans who were advocating for abortion to be "the rule" for pregnancies at 15 weeks, but we're open to hearing both sides of the debate.

He lied about Democrats supporting abortion "up to the moment of birth."

He sneered about "abortion on demand," as if that means anything besides a person who needs an abortion being able to get one without kneeling prostrate before a white man and begging his permission.

He lied and said the bill the Democrats introduced to protect abortion would make us just like "North Korea" and "Iran," because those are scare words. In North Korea, they allow abortion right up to the moment the fetus sends a love letter to Donald Trump, apparently.

Oh wait just kidding, Graham is citing a report from the Family Research Council fascist Christian hate group. This is part of a dishonest tactic they've been trying, where they say that if America bans abortion after 15 weeks, then we'll be "just like Europe," whereas if we have more permissive laws, we'll be like stinky hellhole countries like North Korea, China, and also Canada and South Korea. (They don't tend to mention those last two. Also the Family Research Council's depiction of North Korea as an abortion theme park is questionable, at best.)

Lindsey's Law will not make us "just like Europe," by the way. Another lie, surprise!

The abortion rights group Reproaction live-tweeted the entire press conference, where the religious Right leaders also took turns speaking, so check that out when you're done here. Sounds like this was a moment:

Cool. Oh look, here's video. It's even more atrocious than that tweet suggests. Look how seething sweaty MAD Graham gets, in response to the woman who said her child had a condition that made it "bleed from every orifice" before dying.

So, again, this is the campaign ad Lindsey Graham just made for Democrats, free of charge.

We appreciate him for that, what a very southern gentleman thing of him to do!

Onward to November.

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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