HOLD THE PHONE! Except Not The MyPillow Guy's Phone, Because The Feds Grabbed His At The Hardee's
Giphy

Oh noooooooooooooooooo!

America's never gonna see the packet captures that prove 100 percent beyond a shadow of a doubt that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump, and probably also other elections he wasn't even competing in. Because Mike Lindell, AKA the MyPillow Guy, was at the Hardee's in Mankato, Minnesota, and the feds they just came outta nowhere and took Mike Lindell's phone and now he can't even finish today's Wordle or prove the election was stolen. (His starting word is "Frank." You know, probably.)

Let's see what Donald Trump says about this:



The majesty of America is gone! It was on the MyPillow guy's PHONE!

You might be assuming this is a follow-on to reporting from yesterday that the Department of Justice was going around throwing elbows and issuing subpoenas and confiscating Trump flacks' phones in relation to the fake electors scheme to overturn the election on January 6 and overthrow the government for Trump. You might be assuming WRONG.

It appears this is part of a different investigation.

Lindell [...] posted on social media a grand jury subpoena from a federal prosecutor in Colorado and what appears to be a search warrant related to a federal investigation into breached voting machines in Mesa County, Colorado.

The warrant requests “all records and information on the LINDELL CELLPHONE that constitute fruits, evidence, or instrumentalities of violations” relating to identity theft, intentional damage to a protected computer, and conspiracy to commit the previous two crimes. The warrant cites violations “involving Tina Peters, Conan James Hayes, Belinda Knisley, Sandra Brown, Sherronna Bishop, Michael Lindell, and/or Douglas Frank, among other co-conspirators known and unknown to the government.”

Ahhhhhhhhh. That investigation into crimes related to trying to overthrow the election for Trump, with the batshit Tina Peters lady, former clerk and recorder for Mesa County, Colorado. It's so easy to forget about that investigation into crimes related to trying to overthrow the election for Trump. There are so many investigations into crimes related to trying to overthrow the election for Trump!

PACKET CAPTURES! Mike Lindell's Cyber Guy Gives Up Polishing 'Turd' Into 'Diamond' As Lindell Says Everyone Is CIA

BATSHIT LADY! CO Election Truther/Clerk Tina Peters In The Hoosegow Just For Violating Bail!

And what else did that warrant say?

A copy of the search warrant [...] said the government was seeking “all records and information relating to damage to any Dominion computerized voting system.”

Aha, yep, mmhmm.

The Denver FBI field office confirmed to the Daily Beast that it did a search warrant at the time and place (the Hardee's drive-thru) Lindell said. All these other people have been under investigation, and now it's Mike Lindell's turn to be persecuted.

“They took my phone,” Lindell told The Daily Beast on Tuesday evening via phone. “The FBI did!”

Just took it! The FBI!

Lindell claimed the FBI was looking for information on fellow election fraud conspiracy theorist Dennis Montgomery.

“They are looking for the terabytes from Dennis Montgomery,” Lindell further told The Daily Beast. “I hope they lift the gag order.”

Wonkette explained all the bugfuck about Dennis Montgomery right here. Wonkette is skeptical the FBI was looking for "the terabytes" from Dennis Montgomery, just like Wonkette is skeptical the FBI raided Mar-a-Lago to find Donald Trump's proof that Hillary Clinton framed him for RIGGED! We are thinking it's probably about this investigation into breached voting machines and election tampering in Colorado — there's a state investigation for just about the same thing in Michigan too — just like the warrant says, and just like Lindell also said when he wasn't telling the Daily Beast about "the terabytes."

RIGGED! Trump Knows Real Reason FBI Raided Mar-a-Lago, They Were Looking For Hillary's Emails

This is from the New York Times:

In an interview with The New York Times on Tuesday night, Mr. Lindell said that he had been in a drive-through line at a Hardee’s fast food restaurant in Mankato, Minn., on Tuesday afternoon, while returning with a friend from a duck-hunting trip in Iowa, when his vehicle was surrounded by several cars driven by federal agents. The agents presented him with a search and seizure warrant and interviewed him for about 15 minutes.

The agents asked him about his relationship to Ms. Peters, he said, and about an image copied from a voting machine in Mesa County that had appeared on Frank Speech, a website and hosting platform that Mr. Lindell operates.

Tina Peters has been charged on the state level, but it's a federal grand jury doing these persecutions to Lindell. Back to the Daily Beast, for more quotes about the persecutions:

“The FBI came after me and took my phone,” he said on Facebook. “They surrounded me in a Hardee’s and took my phone that I run all my business, everything with. What they’ve done is weaponize—the FBI, it’s disgusting. I don’t have a computer. Everything I do [is] off that phone. Everything was on there. And they told me not to tell anybody. Here’s an order: ‘Don’t tell anybody!’ ‘OK, I won’t!’ Well, I am.”

And here is Lindell ranting and raving about this plot to "arrest my phone":



What is the world coming to when the MyPillow guy cannot even go to Hardee's without being surrounded and having his entire phone stolen by the FBI? That phone had all the special promo codes on it, the ones you enter on the MyPillow website to get 20 percent off your first order of pillow!

Now nobody will get 20 percent off their first order of pillow, and America doesn't have any majesty, and Mike Lindell's cheeseburger from Hardee's is cold and his milkshake is melted.

JOE BIDEN'S AMERICA!

[Daily Beast / New York Times]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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