When Charlie Kirk Calls A Republican An Idiot And Charlie Kirk Is ... Right? U R NAILIN' IT.

Charlie Kirk opened his mouth yesterday to talk, and it looked very funny, because Charlie Kirk's head looks like what would happen if a child made a beautiful sculpture of a human person with Play-Doh and then the child's big brother drove their Big Wheel over just one part of it for the sole purpose of making their little sister cry. '

But it was weird, because the thing Charlie Kirk's face said was almost sort of kind of correct!

Kirk was criticizing Lindsey Graham for his stupid, dumbass decision — from the perspective of a Republican who wants Republicans to win in November — to announce a bill for a 15-week national abortion ban this week.

STUPID DUMBASS DECISION! Lindsey Graham Nice Enough To Make Free Campaign Ad About Abortion, For Democrats

And Kirk was pissed off, because Graham doesn't have the votes for his bill, and all he's done is put abortion in the spotlight, at the exact moment Americans are really correctly seeing Republicans for the fascist anti-abortion extremists they are.

Kirk, of course, didn't phrase it exactly that way. He phrased it this way:

"... You want this election to be about abortion? And if it was Josh Hawley, I would say OK, or Ted Cruz ... Why is Lindsey Graham, 25 days from ballots going out, galloping in and saying we need a federal abortion ban. Really, where have you been, Lindsey Graham? That feels like election interference!"

You need to watch the video where Kirk says "galloping" because he does this little dance and it's so weird-looking.

Here's part of his dance:

There's our beautiful boy.

Kirk reiterated how anti-abortion he personally is, how he wants a total abortion ban. But, he added, "I'M ALSO NOT DUMB." Normally, we'd ask him to check his police work with such a statement, but in this case, he is correct. When he says Lindsey Graham has just made this election more about abortion, and that Democrats are clapping and thanking Graham, he is correct.

When you are a Republican and halfwit Charlie Kirk is calling you an idiot and halfwit Charlie Kirk is correct? Quite an accomplishment there.

As of yesterday morning, the only Republican senator we had seen who was stupid enough to say out loud that they supported Lindsey Graham's abortion ban was John Thune of South Dakota. Then it turned out Steve Daines of Montana decided to co-sponsor, so mark him down for the idiot column.

YESTERDAY MORNING! Everybody Hates Lindsey Graham's Stupid Abortion Ban, Especially His Republican Colleagues

Perhaps Marco Rubio was upset nobody was saying his name or giving him any attention, because he then announced that he, a senator who is in a tough re-election battle against Democratic Rep. Val Demings, is affirmatively that stupid. Little Marco, who daily tweets Bible verses he doesn't understand. Little Marco, who promised to get the fuck out and leave after he failed so spectacularly in the 2016 GOP primary, and then reneged on that promise, because he doesn't even have the backbone to stick to his convictions when he's decided to quit.

That fuckin' idiot announced he will co-sponsor Lindsey Graham's stupid idea.

Oh, honey. Bless his heart.

This isn't about whether Rubio falsely calls himself "pro-life." This is about if he is stupid enough to do this right after the Supreme Court enraged all decent Americans by giving Samuel Alito a whistle and allowing him to declare himself the special officer in charge of standing inside everybody's underpants and making sure no unborned babies come out before Catholic Jesus says it's time. This is about if Rubio is, moreover, stupid enough to do this as he is up for his own re-election in November.

The Orlando Sentinel notes that Rubio said this last month:

“I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again on this issue, because it’s so fundamental, life. I would rather be right and lose an election than wrong,” Rubio said.

Your mouth to God's ears, get the fuck out.

Rubio, of course, has flip-flopped on this position, as the Sentinel notes that as recently as this current month of September he was in the "let the states decide" crowd. Considering how Rubio is an anti-abortion extremist, we'll assume he was lying then and is being more honest now.

Val Demings is on it:

She continued in a statement:

“As a 27-year law enforcement officer who investigated cases of rape and incest, I’m appalled and disgusted,” Demings said in a statement. “Rape is a crime, incest is a crime, abortion is not. In the U.S. Senate, I will never stop fighting to codify Roe v. Wade and protect the fundamental freedom of women and girls to choose our own destiny.”

Which one of these politicians sounds more like what America wants to hear right now?

But sure, good job, Little Marco, and Val Demings thanks you for the free campaign ads just like the entire Democratic Party thanks Lindsey Graham.

All of you, just nailing it.

[Local10.com / Orlando Sentinel]

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Evan Hurst

Evan Hurst is the managing editor of Wonkette, which means he is the boss of you, unless you are Rebecca, who is boss of him. His dog Lula is judging you right now.

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