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Someone's Projecting (Again). Wonkagenda For Fri., March 29, 2019

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Morning Wonketariat! Here's some of the things we may be talking about today!


During an orgiastic hate-filled frenzy for old white people in Grand Rapids, Michigan, Trump and his spawn yelled and screamed about their political enemies, and said dirty cusses on national teevee. First, DJTJ got the crowd all greased up through chants of "AOC sucks." When his daddy took the stage he proselytized and declared vindication from the #DEEPSTATE "elaborate hoax" known as the Russia investigation, announcing, "The Democrats have to now decide whether they will continue defrauding the public with ridiculous bullshit, partisan investigations, or ways they will apologize to the American people and join us to rebuild our crumbling infrastructure." Other low lights include Trump calling Rep. Adam Schiff a "pencil neck," and bitching about Rep. Jerry Nadler and (of course) the late Sen. John McCain (again).

A federal judge blew up a Trumpcare scheme that let small businesses skirt health care regulations. The judge called the scheme "clearly an end-run around the A.C.A." because it let small businesses band together to form shady association health plans. In previous administrations, federal regulators repeatedly found these schemes to be nothing more than scams for junk insurance, or for employers to pocket their employees' premiums.

Mitch McConnell has no interest in trying to make Trumpcare happen (AGAIN). Rather than risk reelection or Republican control of the Senate, McConnell says he "looks forward" to whatever scheme the administration concocts to strip healthcare from the poor, sick and elderly.

CMS Administrator Seema Verma, the poor-fucking troll who followed Mike Pence to DC to become the head of the agency overseeing Medicare, Medicaid and Obamacare, secretly spent millions on multiple conservative PR firms to make her look good. According to Politico, when Verma isn't trying to weasel work requirements into healthcare, her shadow comms team has been writing her speeches and selling her to national press outfits instead of healthcare journalists in order to raise her public profile. As usual, none of this is illegal since nobody's ever been so blatantly stupid.

Think Progress has a curious piece about SCOTUS ruling for a temporary stay of execution in the case of a Buddhist inmate facing a death sentence. Conservative justices (for once) seemed concerned the inmate was being denied religious liberty after Texas wouldn't allow a "Buddhist reverend" to accompany the inmate into the execution chamber. HOWEVER, just last month SCOTUS ruled against a Muslim man making a similar request, raising questions about about whether the court's religious zealots suddenly saw the light and decided to repent from their wicked ways.

The halls of government are empty thanks to the administration's insistence on loyalty over competence, so Mitch McConnell is quietly trying to change the Senate rules (AGAIN!!!) so he can pack lower courts full of conservative judges and shove Trump stooges into Uncle Sam's Cubicle Land. #NuclearOption.

The nominee to fill the the number 3 seat at the DOJ has curiously withdrawn herself from consideration. Jessie Liu, the US Attorney for DC, had been tapped to replace the long vacant seat of Rachel Brand. Maddow points out that Liu is now overseeing a number of Trump-Russia cases that were passed off by Robert Mueller to other jurisdictions, making her decision to decline the gig all the more interesting! [Morning Maddow]

Joe Biden still hasn't announced #HesRunning; now Vanity Fair gossips that Biden's apology tour and indecisive gimmicks are all features, not bugs, in the Biden machine. VF quotes political wizards quibbling about Biden ruining his reputation with a potentially dismal campaign (like a common Hillary!) while Biden's people weigh whether or not old white people will still outnumber the growing rainbow coalition of angry youths with itchy voting fingers.

The first DNC debates will be held in Miami on June 26 and 27 and be broadcast on NBC, MSNBC, and en español on Telemundo. The DNC says the lineup for both nights will be chosen at random, so it's possible we could see Andrew Yang making weird meme jokes about dicks while standing on the same stage as Kamala Harris and Elizabeth Warren.

While Trump was screaming incoherently in Michigan last night, Mike Pence was schmoozing super rich people in Northern Virginia as part of a 2020 push to flip blue states. Veteran pollsters are warning the Trump campaign that this is a woefully idiotic strategy, but Trump thinks he can paint Democrats as racist monsters, just like himself.

Democratic 2020 candidate Sen. Amy Klobuchar has unveiled a trillion-dollar infrastructure plan to help rebuild flyover country. Part of her plan would create an Infrastructure Financing Authority to help states and towns manage federal and private Ameros they desperately need to fix all the old roads, schools, and bridges, and build out rural broadband. To pay for it, Klobuchar would reverse part of the Trump tax cuts (for the super rich) so that corporations have to pay as much as 25 percent, and also revive and tweak an Obama-era bond initiative to include clean energy investments.

Miramar, Florida, Mayor Wayne Messam has announced #HesRunning for the Democratic nod in 2020. In an announcement video, Messam talks about making the American Dream a reality once again, centering his platform around a living wage, jobs, and the environment.

ICYMI: Creepy fuckwads have started using Apple's AirDrop feature to send random dick pics to women in bars and on subways. As cities like New York and Chicago debate strict punishments for cyber flashing, nerds advise you to turn off the feature for your own safety, security, and sanity, and to STOP SENDING DICK PICS!

Jared Kushner privately sat down with the Senate Intel Committee for the first time since he was forced to repeatedly amend his security clearance forms. Nobody knows what they talked about since there apparently wasn't any collusion.

Last summer Trump's TV lawyers were desperate to avoid a "perjury trap" from Robert Mueller, so they claimed Trump was too fancy and busy to be served a subpoena. A lengthy WaPo piece details how Trump's TV lawyers then slapped together a series of schemes with the sole purpose of keeping Trump from making anything other than incessant shitposts as they were confident Trump would lie to federal investigators.

A State Department spox sputtered his way through a non-answer after reporters began pressuring him to say whether or not the Trump administration believes North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un is responsible for the death of Otto Warmbier. The exchange comes after Secretary of State Mike Pompeo refused to say mean words about Kim during a congressional hearing on Wednesday where Pompeo dodged the question and called it a "political football."

Aunt Becky's daughter Olivia Jade Loughlin tried to trademark her name to sell some crappy makeup, but was rejected because her application was full of spelling errors and vague language.

Like the rest of us, Randy Rainbow has those Mueller Blues and is about three seconds away from just drinking straight from the bottle.

THE MUELLER BLUES - Randy Rainbow Song Parody www.youtube.com


And here's your morning Nice Time! NOSE BOOPS!

Cute animal nose boops www.youtube.com

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Dominic Gwinn

Dominic is a broke journalist in Chicago. You can find him in a dirty bar talking to weirdos, or in a gutter taking photos.

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