OMG RUDY IS LEAVING US! Turn on your teevee and cry 911 tears, because Rudy's going on live right now to say good-bye to us, forever, and to endorse crazy old weirdo John McCain.
What did he say?
* Rudy has always loved John McCain and loves to touch his tortured hands.
* Rudy really wanted to be the nominee, but everybody hates him.
* In order not to "flip flop," Rudy will do this endorsement, and then he can pretend to be Attorney General when McCain pretends to become president next year.
* McCain even looks awkward and uncomfortable when he's getting an endorsement.
* END MESSAGE: They both hate fucking Mitt Romney.