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NFL DESTROYS MCCAIN: On September 4, John McCain is set to accept the Republican nomination with a glorious convention speech, most likely about the latest wave of arthritis prescription drugs. This same night, the NFL is kicking off its new season with a big Prime Time football game. This presents a huge obstacle for both the GOP and the NFL, America's favorite pastimes. When will Al Gore step in as a Neutral Broker and fix this problem too? [Jonathan Martin]

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