2008 Backlash Watch

Lonesome John Edwards warns Barack Hussein Obama not to give him the sass-mouth. - WonketteIt is still, last we checked, January of 2007. The next Presidential election is scheduled for November of 2008, barring radioactive rain or martial law. So while you're polling yahoos on Hillary's favorability or printing terrifying obamaganda posters or beating up some Vilsack supporter and taking his wallet, remember this: at this point in 2003, Tom Daschle looked good.

In other words, our current crop of front-runners have a lotta time to piss away the voters' good will. Don't believe us? Let's take a look at the two most "charismatic" candidates, after the jump.

Why You'll Be Sick of Barack Obama By May

* Continued, irritating tendency to respond to mild ribbing about his appearance with overly-sensitive whining.

* Inspiring vagueness.

* Will probably be spending a lot of time "reaching across the aisle" and displaying token, obnoxious nods toward bullshit "bipartisanship" with Republican Senators you hate, like Joe Lieberman.

* Will be on Oprah more.

* No sense of humor evident (stupid Monday Night football ad doesn't count, as it wasn't funny).

* Everyone else loves the bastard.

Why You'll Be Sick of John Edwards By May

* Shit-eating grin.

* Folksy drawl.

* Still a pretty-boy.

* But now an angry pretty-boy.

* Everyone is terrified of his wife.

* Eerily reminds Wonkette of a terrifying and sociopathic grifter played by a young Andy Griffith in a classic old movie.

In other words, neither of these jokers stands a chance! Get ready for Kucinich/Paul in '08! Or, more realistically, Hillary, because everyone in America already got sick of her years ago, and soon they'll move on to "resigned to the inevitable."


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