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Missouri Gov Eric Greitens Is Fifty Shades Of Fucked

Consent, how does it work?

A peeping tom

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Stormy Daniels Denies Denying Denial Of ... Oh Screw It, Just Read This

The stuff about Trump being deathly afraid of sharks has to be real. Give to the shark charity of your choice today!

Oh, she's a cagey one!

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Hackers Are Holding All The Voter Rolls In California Hostage

Empty your wallets or you'll never see your precious elections ever again.

On Friday, while the country was worked up in a frenzy over Republican tax fuckery, a cybersecurity firm announced that it had discovered a two databases containing a total of 19 million California voter records had been breached. Hackers had deleted the data, installing a note in its place that simply read, "your database is downloaded and backed up on our secure servers," with a ransom note for .2 bitcoin (at this moment, that's around $3,500).

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Kentucky Pastor Molester Lawmaker's Widow Vows To Finish Work Dead Husband Started

She seems terrible.

Dan Johnson, the Kentucky GOP state Rep. and pastor, was the subject of an extremely thorough, months-long investigation; he also committed suicide after it came out. We felt terrible about this, honestly; you never want someone to make himself dead right after you called him out as part of a human centipede. Having read the report in its entirety, we are feeling less terrible -- not because we ever take joy in someone taking his life, but because he seems to have been a mean, racist, grifty fraud, in addition to having allegedly molested his daughter's friend. Now his wife, Rebecca Johnson -- who told investigative reporters sniffing around her husband's church they "would have blood on their hands" if they investigated an elected state official -- wants to take over his state House seat for the 49th District. In a statement given to the AP the day after her husband posted a suicide note on Facebook and then shot himself on a bridge, "Rebecca Johnson referred to her husband's death as a 'high-tech lynching based on lies and half-truths.'"

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