Did Trump write this?
Reality is a DEEP STATE plot! Luckily President Bunkerbitch knows just how to deal with objective facts and their damn, dirty scheming. That's right, he pays someone to spin him a nice little cocoon of fairy tales. A safe space if you will. It's warm in there, and as long as you keep OANN playing at all times, there's no chance of upsetting truth leaking in.
The president's most recent hire is famous poll un-skewer John McLaughlin, brought onboard to prove it is just science fact that all the polls showing Biden beating Trump are bullshit.
...Crooked Hillary Clinton in 2016. They are called SUPPRESSION POLLS, and are put out to dampen enthusiasm. Despit… https://t.co/v5JnPAEx80— Donald J. Trump (@Donald J. Trump)1591643687.0
Five months before the election, and Trump is already whining that the pollsters are trying to suppress the vote? Criminy, it's going to be a long, stupid summer. It was nice of that nutbag to give political Twitter a chance to come together and dunk on John McLaughlin, though. Last night was a veritable hit reel of races McLaughlin whiffed badly, taking his Republican clients' money and telling them what they wanted to hear.
Like when he told Rep. Barbara Comstock she was one point ahead of Democratic challenger Jennifer Wexton in 2018. Now Wexton represents Northern Virginia in Congress, and Comstock is in the private sector after losing by 12 points.
In 2012, McLaughlin predicted Mitt Romney would win Virginia by 7 and Colorado by 4. He lost them by 4 and 6 points respectively.
That same year, he said that New York's safely blue Sixth District was a 36-33 toss-up between Democrat Grace Meng and Republican Dan Halloran. He managed that magic number by cooking up a poll that showed 30 percent of respondents undecided in October. Meng won 68-31.
The list of McLaughlin flubs is long, but none can top the 2014 GOP congressional primary in Virginia's Seventh District, where McLaughlin showed his client Rep. Eric Cantor walloping challenger Dave Brat by 34 points. Brat won the seat with an 11-point margin, after which the National Republican Congressional Committee told its caucus to think hard about whether they wanted such an incompetent boob running their polling operations. Safe to say the president may be taking some liberties when he describes McLaughlin as a "highly respected pollster."
And indeed this "memo" is of a piece with McLaughlin's work product generally. His main point is that 2016's turnout model, when large numbers of Democrats stayed home because they didn't love Clinton and the media assured us she was going to win anyway, is the only legitimate metric, and everything else is a deliberate attempt to suppress the vote.
"So instead of the 33% Republican turnout which actually happened in 2020, they are reporting polls on only 26%, 25% or even 24% Republicans," McLaughlin blustered. Let's assume that he means 2016, not 2020, since the Republican presidential primary this year was a foregone conclusion, and Democrats accounted for 68 percent of total votes cast. Why is it illegal to disregard changing demographics, actual voter registration, or the massive Democratic turnout in 2018? Okay, to be fair, it's understandable that McLaughlin might want to memory hole the midterms, since he predicted the GOP would hold the House and possibly even pick up a seat or two, when they wound up losing 41 seats.
"For example, the CNN poll out today is another skewed anti-Trump poll of only 25% Republican," he continued in a grammatical style which sounds suspiciously like his client. "It's a poll of 1,259 adults — not even registered voters, let alone likely voters." Well, actually, the 14 percent Biden margin came from a poll of 1,125 registered voters. But, go off, dude!
"Also, it was done between June 2nd and 5th, before the great economic news from last Friday," he continued. McLaughlin accused both CNN and the NBC/Wall Street Journal pollsters of deliberately skewing their polls by conducting them before the unexpectedly good jobs numbers came out last Friday. How is it cheating to conduct a poll to exclude an unanticipated future event which might affect the outcome? Obviously, the space time continuum is #RIGGED!
"The latest media spin is that it's too late to define Joe Biden and it's too late for President Trump to win," McLaughlin theorized. "We can hardly wait until they start spinning a 'Biden electoral lock'. It has to be a strategy to counter the enthusiasm of Trump voters."
UH HUH. Well, leaving aside the wisdom of using a guy whose entire job is to brew up insanely rosy polls for GOP candidates, that language about it being "too late to define Joe Biden" sounds kinda familiar. Hey, Jonathan Chait at New York Magazine, remind us where we heard it before.
A slew of polling finds Biden's lead ranging from a low of 7 to CNN's high of 14. Trump's staffers backhandedly acknowledge this fact by the rote denials they have been giving reporters whenever asked about Trump's polling: "Our internal data consistently shows the president running strong against a defined Joe Biden in all of our key states." This line might sound confident, until you realize "defined" means "after pollsters have given respondents one-sided attack messages against him" and "running strong" means "still losing."
OH RIGHT! So Donald Trump's own internal pollsters can only get good numbers when they ask a question like, "If we told you that Joe Biden is a China-loving career politician whose son may have taken bribes in Ukraine, would you vote for him? What if we told you he kicks puppies?" But, please, tell us more about how the media is trying to suppress the vote five months before the election by undersampling Republicans.
Okay, enough of this pathetic shit. We've given it too many pixels already. In summary and in conclusion, Donald Trump is a demented little snowflake surrounding himself in ever-thicker layers of nonsense because objective reality is DEEP STATE. At this rate, the entire White House will be one huge rubber room by November.
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GOP leadership is shocked, shocked!
California Republican Ted Howze thought he could run for Congress without anyone checking his social media, or maybe he assumed everyone would stop using social media and have more “game nights" with their families. Neither happened and now he has to answer for offensive posts about Muslims and immigrants that appeared on his Facebook and Twitter accounts.
The inflammatory content is your typical Rush Limbaugh/Ann Coulter garbage: Hillary Clinton is accused of murdering Seth Rich. Rep. Maxine Waters doesn't just have distracting black lady hair, she's also a crackhead. Parkland shooting survivor David Hogg is a fraud who hasn't witnessed real gun violence. Also, Islam sucks. None of this is true or all that “shocking." It's boilerplate rhetoric from your MAGA relative. But Republicans like to gaslight us into thinking their party isn't a pack of bigots.
Howze claimed he didn't know how those "negative and ugly" posts got on his accounts. He certainly didn't write them! He was a regular user of Facebook, but he apparently never read its security guidelines, so he gave people access to his accounts ... for reasons. Facebook isn't Netflix or Hulu. Facebook is free.
We all know the #FakeNews media is joined at the hip with the Democrats. They don’t even hide it! Now they are afte… https://t.co/ryolDuYE2M— Ted Howze (@Ted Howze)1589988945.0
Earlier this month, Howze tried to smooth things over with a social media security PSA.
"Like many folks in my middle-age group, I learned the very hard lesson to never allow anyone access to social media accounts or passwords," Howze said in a statement.
Dude is in his early 50s. Generation X is middle-aged, sure, but we're not your nana. We understand the Internets. Howze
is was even a member of the GOP's “Young Guns" program.
"I made the mistake of allowing others access to these accounts unknowingly — and I am angered, horrified and extremely offended that these ugly ideas were shared or posted by those individuals several years ago."
Howze declined to identify the drooling bigots he trusted with his account (probably because they don't exist), but his flimsy excuse was enough for the GOP. Then more posts emerged. He signed his name to one and tagged family members in others. It's a dumpster fire of anti-Muslim sentiment, as well as conspiracy theories about Hillary the serial killer and Obama the secret Muslim who's going to impose Sharia law.
House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy endorsed Howze before the March primary. No one in his office thought to check social media, either, but now McCarthy is preparing to cut his losses.
MCCARTHY: The content in question on Mr. Howze's social media channels is disappointing and disturbing. Bigotry and hateful rhetoric — in any form — have no place in the Republican Party.
They keep saying this as if Trump isn't a Republican. He gave Limbaugh the Presidential Medal of Freedom shortly before the world ended and yes, there is a connection.
MCCARTHY: These posts are unacceptable and do not reflect the Ted Howze that I have briefly interacted with.
See, McCarthy didn't know Howze was a creep when he endorsed him. It's not like he spat on a Muslim or anything during the five minutes they spoke at a meet-and-greet.
National Republican Congressional Committee chair Tom Emmer was also shocked and appalled.
EMMER: These statements are unacceptable and not indicative of the Republican Party and what we are building here at the NRCC with our diverse slate of candidates.
McCarthy and Emmer pulled Howze from their “Young Guns" roster. They no longer want him, dead or alive. This makes reelection much easier for freshman Rep. Josh Harder, who represents California 10th district. He is neither a bigot nor does he hand out his social media account passwords like candy.
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Is she our next vice president?
“The View" is a depressing sight these days. Co-hosts Sunny Hostin and Meghan McCain are on opposite ends of the table, keeping a safe six feet distance apart. That's good news for Hostin, but it makes for a somber set. Joy Behar stopped coming into the studio last week and is in self-quarantine for her own safety. Whoopi Goldberg's working from home because she's a national treasure and must remain safe if civilization is to endure after the coronavirus.
Goldberg interviewed Minnesota Sen. Amy Klobuchar via Skype Wednesday. She even let McCain participate. Klobuchar did a fine job auditioning for vice president. She talked up Joe Biden as the person to lead America during these challenging times.
.@amyklobuchar on Biden’s call for unity after his three-state primary win Tuesday: “He didn’t use it as a moment t… https://t.co/I15QMTy0Bk— The View (@The View)1584545605.0
Klobuchar was also gracious to her Senate colleague, Bernie Sanders, when co-host Dan Abrams asked her if it was time for Sanders to GTFO.
KLOBUCHAR: That is so his decision. Bernie is a friend. We came into the Senate together. We've worked together on all kinds of things, including the price of pharmaceuticals ... He'll make a decision when the decision is right for him. He's built a movement. He has a lot of people who fully believe in him. And I think Joe Biden's words last night say it all. He wants to bring Bernie's people with him.
McCain reminded Klobuchar that just because Biden's the nominee, we can't suddenly forget that Sanders supporters are a pack of drooling sociopaths.
MCCAIN: If Joe Biden secures the nomination, I don't think Bernie supporters are going to suddenly rally behind him. I've said on the show before that Bernie supporters are some of the nastiest people on social media. They harass people in ugly and sexist ways. How do you think [Biden] will be able to get them on his team?
It's worth noting while we're here that McCain once pushed back against a “View" guest who said Trump voters were part of a “cult." McCain's husband is publisher of The Federalist and while she's not responsible for what her spouse does, she should know that (the worst, not all) Sanders supporters do have some blue-checkmarked competition for “nastiest people on social media."
This reporter isn't just running defense for the Communist Chinese government, she's doing it at the expense of all… https://t.co/e1KK2uh2gN— Mollie (@Mollie)1584549557.0
Klobuchar didn't take McCain's bait and just stuck to the unity message.
KLOBUCHAR: [Sanders] knows what the stakes are here. And if and when he makes that decision that he would endorse Joe Biden, I think that he will do everything to bring his supporters with him.
She later politely sidestepped Sunny Hostin's questions about whether she was on a shortlist for Biden's vice president. Still, look at her face when she discusses the possibility. She's not Meryl Streep. She wouldn't look that happy if she suspected Biden was seriously considering Pete Buttigieg.
HOSTIN: Biden said on Sunday that he would commit to a female woman VP. Are you that woman?
KLOBUCHAR: I'm not talking about hypotheticals. I don't think he's talked to anyone about this. There are great women throughout this country and no one knows better about being vice president than Joe Biden. He did the job really well with Barack Obama for eight years. Right now, we're in a crisis and I think that's why people are turning to him. That's why you saw the voter turnout you did in Arizona and Florida. Because even though there was a risk to go to vote, a lot people went to vote.
That was very good deflection. Klobuchar kept making the case without saying anything that she's the “female woman" for this ticket. She's every female woman.
Sen. @amyklobuchar on so-called 'Bernie Bros': “[Sen. Sanders] knows what the stakes are here. And if and when he m… https://t.co/xUhr8BatW6— The View (@The View)1584549444.0
Klobuchar shared a lovely story about a time when Biden visited Minnesota for an event. This was years ago when we still had "events." She called to thank him and mentioned that her friend's husband who'd helped with the event had suddenly died. Biden asked for her friend's cell phone number.
KLOBUCHAR: [Biden] called my friend while she was driving home from work her first day. He made her pull over to the side of the road and write his cell phone number on her hand and told her he could call her whenever it was hard because he'd lost his own family members. That's just a story. No one knew that story until I told it on the show. That's the kind of empathy he has for people.
Klobuchar is an experienced politician who knows her stuff. You could tell when she talked about what was needed at the federal level to combat the coronavirus, but the vice presidency is ultimately a support role. It demands someone willing to cede the spotlight and convince people to vote for the top of the ticket. Klobuchar showed she can hit it out of the park for Uncle Joe.
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