2020 Congressional Elections

Let’s Show Some Love For Our Man In Alabama, Doug Jones

The senator’s reelection is a long shot but he deserves to win.

Democratic Alabama Senator Doug Jones beat Republican Roy Moore in the 2017 special election by less than two points, which is not the most comfortable margin if you want to defend your seat against candidates who aren't mall-cruising perverts. Come November, Jones will either face off against Alabama's former senator and Donald Trump's current punching bag Jeff Sessions or Tommy Tuberville, the former Auburn football coach the president endorsed because of his promising “Not Jeff Sessions" platform.

The coronavirus outbreak postponed the GOP primary runoff from March 31 to July, so Sessions will have to wait awhile for his public humiliation. Jones currently has $8 million in the bank, which is 10 times more than Sessions or Tuberville. Still, Alabama is a deep-red state, and the few polls available show either Republican candidate handing Jones his ass.

If Jones loses reelection, Democrats would need to flip four other seats to regain the Senate majority. (They can even get by with just three if Joe Biden wins the presidency and Vice President Kamala Harris breaks the tie.) This still seemed insurmountable -- most of the races were in states Trump won in 2016. However, now Democrats appear to have something more than a hope, and several Republican incumbents have something less than a chance.

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coronavirus

GA Gov Brian Kemp Has Lost His Damn Mind

We really needed Stacey Abrams to win this, didn’t we?

Georgia's fake Gov. Brian Kemp declared war on the public health of his constituents Monday when he announced that he was reopening certain businesses in the state effective April 24, which is Friday. It's also months too soon. The White House's model, from the Institute of Health Metrics and Evaluation, states that Georgia hit its projected “peak" for daily deaths April 7, less than a week after Kemp realized COVID-19 was super contagious. Hooray! Unfortunately, the model still predicts that dozens of people will die every day from the coronavirus in the coming week, and if social distancing measures are relaxed before June 15, the virus will — unlike the South — rise again.

Kemp, whose brain must be frolicking on a Florida beach somewhere, specifically said he's reopening the doors of fitness centers, bowling alleys, body art studios, barbers, hair and nail salons, and massage therapy businesses. This is not just bad governance. It's criminally negligent homicide.

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2020 Congressional Elections

Poll Finds Kris Kobach Narrowly Beating Coronavirus, But Losing To Democrat In Kansas Senate Race

They hate him. Still.

Time for some Poll Porn, bow chicka bow bow! Now, don't get too excited — we are talking about Kansas here, so you know the GOP dude will be a godbothering freak show and the Democratic lady will have sensible, midwestern hair. Also the poll is from Public Policy Polling, a Democratic shop. But FiveThirtyEight gives PPP a "B" rating, and that's good enough for us, so TAKE IT ALL OFF BABY!

Actually, Kris Kobach can keep his clothes on forever, thankyouverymuch. And he might not want to quit his day job either, if the latest Senate polling is correct. (Does Kobach have a day job since that vote-rigging commission got disbanded and his legal insurance scam dried up?) Because PPP gives Democratic candidate Barbara Bollier a narrow, two-point lead over Kobach in this year's Senate contest. Which is, coincidentally, the same margin polls had for Democrat Laura Kelly over Kobach leading up Kansas's 2018 gubernatorial race, before she dick-kicked him 48 to 43.

In the PPP poll of 1,271 voters, about half approved of Donald Trump and preferred to vote for a Republican in November. But when asked, "If the candidates for US Senate this November were Democrat Barbara Bollier and Republican Kris Kobach, who would you vote for?" 44 percent chose Bollier, 42 percent went for Kobach, and 13 percent were undecided.

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State/Local Politics

Wisconsin GOP Vote Suppressing F*ckery Bites 'Em In The Ass

Karma's a bitch.

GOOOOOO BADGERS! The Wisconsin GOP's gambit to rig last week's election by forcing in-person voting during a pandemic backfired spectacularly. Last night the votes came in, and Republican hack Supreme Court Justice Dan Kelly got crushed at the polls by progressive Dane County Judge Jill Karofsky. Remember 2016 when Donald Trump won Wisconsin by fewer than 23,000 votes? Well, last night Karofsky won by more than 163,000 votes. Because we are madder than they are!

"Obviously I had hoped my service would continue for another decade, but tonight's results make clear that God has a different plan for my future," Kelly said last night. Indeed, God and the people of Wisconsin seem to have expressed their preferences pretty strongly, despite multiple tweets from the president endorsing Kelly and urging Wisconsinites to go out and vote for him.

This election was batshit from the jump. Kelly was appointed by then-Governor Scott Walker to fill out the last four years of a retiring Justice's term in 2016, and Wisconsin Senate Majority Leader Scott Fitzgerald publicly mused about moving the election so it wouldn't coincide with the Democratic primary for the express purpose of depressing turnout for Kelly's advantage.

The same Scott Fitzgerald teamed up with Republican Assembly Speaker Robin Vos to block every single change that would have made voting safer for Wisconsinites. No postponement of the election, no switch to vote by mail, no waiving the signature requirement, no accommodation at all for the hundreds of thousands of Milwaukee voters who would have to cram into five polling places instead of 182 because the state couldn't muster enough poll workers during a highly contagious pandemic, and no extending the deadline for absentee ballots — with a special assist from Chief Justice John Roberts, who torched his last remaining shred of credibility for nothing.

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