An old Wonkette 'favorite' flares up again.
Like that rash you get in the warmer, wetter months -- when you thought the cream your doctor gave you had taken care of, but still gives you an odd sense of satisfaction when you scratch it -- Joseph Dee Morrissey is back. A few years ago, Morrissey was a regular embarrassment to all Democrats, and especially to the Virginia House of Delegates, where he waved around an AK-47 on the floor, and sexed his underaged secretary.
Well get ready for a new outbreak. On Tuesday, Morrissey won the Democratic primary for the 16th district of the Virginia Senate, knocking off incumbent and establishment favorite Senator Rosalyn Dance by a 12-point margin. The SD16 is such a safe Democratic seat that the GOP didn't even bother to scare up a patsy to run there. In Virginia, there is a lot of pearl-clutching and shock about Morrissey's win, mostly from nice optimists who should not be surprised by the success of an amoral creep.
Morrissey's primary campaign was not without controversy, albeit much more mundane than what we've come to expect from old pervy Joe. The Richmond Times-Dispatch reported on some irregularities with his campaign finance reporting. Also too, his family lives outside the district in a nice house in a "good" school district in Richmond's Northside (also home to everyone's favorite Senator/Dad Tim Kaine). Morrissey bought a place in the 16th District and registered to vote there to satisfy the Commonwealth's residency requirement for state Senate eligibility, but folks doubt that he really lives there as he claims. Still, let's be fair: We don't think it's a stretch to believe his wife and kids live in the big Northside house while Joe spends most nights in his Church Hill fuck pad.
When we last heard from Morrissey, he was fighting accusations of trying to trade his legal work for sexual favors while also widely being considered the frontrunner for the Richmond mayoral election. (SIDENOTE: He lost that race and was never really the frontrunner -- but he was the first name after "undecided" in most polls, in a race with like 50 candidates, in an election with byzantine rules about winning a majority of councilmanic districts...) But sure, Fightin' Joe ALLEGEDLY did legal work pro boner.
This was all a couple years after he, at the tender age of 56, allegedly sexed the 17-year-old receptionist at his law office (now his wife and mother of three of his kids). There were serious consequences of that episode. He resigned his seat in the Virginia House of Burgess Merediths, under pressure from his Democratic colleagues. He also pleaded down to "contributing to the delinquency of a minor" and served a little time. BUT while serving that time, he won the special election to fill the seat he had just resigned. Yes, from jail. Morrissey also had a work-release arrangement to go to the state Capitol during the day for the General Assembly session, and was allowed to keep his Jaguar in the parking lot of the Henrico County hoosegow at night.
These are only the most recent scandals in the Saga of Fightin' Joe, so we can understand the disgust and pearl-clutching from Virginians. The man is a sleazebag, reputed to prey on young women and people in legal trouble. What we can't understand is the surprise. He won a special election FROM JAIL, and the positive side of his reputation is that he is accessible and will help you if you need it, without judgment (other than judging your value as a target for his sexual attention).
The guy is scum, but he's glad-handing, politically adept scum. Morrissey hit the streets and talked to a ton of people, and Senator Dance missed her steps.
Follow Fitzy on twitter @chestyfitz, and give Wonkette some goddamn money.
We aren't going to start suddenly liking Ralph Northam again, mind you.
Following last Friday's mass shooting in Virginia Beach, Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam said Tuesday he will call the state legislature into special session to consider several bills aimed at stopping all these GODDAMN shootings. Among the measures Northam wants to sign are a ban of high-capacity magazines and of suppressors (don't call them "silencers" or the gun-humpers will yell at you), both of which were used by the shooter last week. Northam said, "The nation will be watching," and wants lawmakers in the Republican majority to go on the record with their votes on all the bills, not just kill them off in committee.
The AP reports Northam wants the legislature to consider a number of measures, including
a ban on silencers and high-capacity magazines, as well as a broadening of the ability of local governments to prohibit guns in city buildings. The governor said he also wants mandatory, universal background checks before gun purchases; a limit of one handgun purchase per month; and a "red flag" law that would allow authorities to seize weapons from people deemed a threat to themselves or others.
"I will be asking for votes and laws, not thoughts and prayers," he said, mocking the usual response to gun violence by supporters of the gun lobby.
The Republican speaker of what normal places would be called the state House or Assembly suggested a special session was just a terrible idea, given that Northam was caught up in that ugly blackface scandal a few months back. Kirk Cox said calling for a special session was "hasty and suspect when considered against the backdrop of the last few months," which the AP says referred to the blackface mess. But considering the ongoing implosion of the National Rifle Association, which is based in Virginia, perhaps Cox thought it was unfair to talk about guns in this difficult and tragic time for Republicans' loved ones.
Instead of trying to keep guns out of the hands of potential killers, which might inconvenience responsible gun humpers who only become killers when they go all irresponsible now and then, Republicans intend to
toughen penalties — including new, mandatory minimum sentences — for those who use guns to commit crimes.
"We believe addressing gun violence starts with holding criminals accountable for their actions, not infringing on the constitutional rights of law-abiding citizens," he said.
Why yes, surely the prospect of a longer prison sentence would have deterred the Virginia Beach shooter from killing his 12 victims, except for how he was killed in a shootout with police.
With Republicans in control of both houses of the Virginia Lege, the passage of any tighter gun laws in the special session -- which hasn't been scheduled yet, but is likely to be called for later this month -- seems like a long shot, like the kind you'd want a sniper rifle for. But all the seats in the legislature are up for election this fall, and with attitudes on guns starting to shift, even in Virginia, having all the Republicans on record voting against common sense gun laws could help flip control of one or both houses.
That's an especially appealing prospect for Shelly Simonds, who in January 2018 lost a House race in a "tie" that resulted from Republicans insisting a spoiled ballot was really a vote for the R candidate, David Yancey. A random draw tie-breaker then handed the seat to Yancey, keeping Republicans in control of the House of Dillybars.
Simonds told the New York Times,
"I'm absolutely delighted," Ms. Simonds said of the prospect of putting gun control measures up before the entire House of Delegates, including Mr. Yancey, whom she is running against again. "I can't wait to find out how he votes."
Yr Wonkette certainly isn't going to get on any Ralph Northam rehabilitation bandwagon (could we find someone with no blackface photos to primary him in 2021, please, or is that fucking impossible? Update: Several readers point out Virginia governors are limited to a single term, so no need!), but we're all for Dems taking the legislature this fall -- and passing the shit out of some gun laws. Wouldn't that make this session special?
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