Elections

Senate's Dumbest Republican Defends Title On 'Meet The Press'

It's your first Sunday show rundown of 2021!

2020 sucked in all the worst possible ways, and it seems 2021 will begin with 2020's death throes. So with that said, let's take a look at the first Sunday shows of 2021!

We begin with GOP Senator Ron Johnson, Wonkette's 2020 Legislative Shitheel and Senate's Dumbest Republican. Appearing on NBC's "Meet The Press," Johnson defended his titles while making (gasp!) Chuck Todd do his first journalism of 2021:


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coronavirus

Your Sunday Show Rundown Is Mostly About GOP Sen. John Barrasso Being An A-Hole

The GOP is very humanitarian and good. Obviously.

With just a few days to go before Christmas, the GOP has decided that putting the most minimal effort they can should earn them awards for their "courage." Like rotten children trying to do last-minute chores to stave off their well deserved lumps of coal, the GOP is trying to pretend it always does good.

An excellent example of this would be Wyoming GOP senator and third ranking member of Republican Senate leadership, John Barrasso, on "Fox News Sunday":

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Legal

Georgia Gippers Take Break From Kicking The Sh*t Out Of Each Other To Get Beat Up By Judges

Knock yourselves out, fellas.

Republicans are tryin' it in Georgia, with a whole spate of lawsuits aiming to make it harder to cast a ballot in the Peach State. But as with most GOP election litigation, their claims are shit, so they're not having much luck.

Yesterday, Georgia Gippers got tossed out of federal court twice on cases so stupid the judge didn't even need time after oral argument to deliberate. So much winning, y'all!

In the morning, the 12th Congressional District Republican Committee made their case to US District Judge J. Randal Hall that ballot drop boxes are UNLEGAL, and opening absentee ballot envelopes before the election is UNLEGAL and Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger is mean and bad for telling election workers that they're not handwriting experts, so don't get cute.

But Judge Hall was not impressed with the plaintiffs' claim to standing, and was even less down with their belated realization, less than a week before the runoff, that election procedures in use throughout the primary and the general were suddenly illegal. The suit was filed on Dec. 9, and, as of today, one million Georgians have already voted early. It is far too late to be trying to change the rules of this game.

"We are not on the eve of an election," Judge Hall, a Bush appointee said. "We are, as it relates to this particular election, closing in on halftime."

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2020 Congressional Elections

Georgia Republicans Gear Up For Runoff By Kicking The Sh*t Out Of Each Other

It's a Festivus miracle!

After a month of getting publicly shit on for the unpardonable sin of allowing President Trump to lose an election, Georgia Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger is getting SALTY.

Last week Senators Kelly Loeffler and David Perdue released a joint statement accusing Raffensperger of "fail[ing] to compile and release a final list of newly registered voters." Because it's more important to sing along with Trump's "Evil Brad Stealing Elections" tune than to give their own voters confidence in the Jan. 5 runoff they're both in after failing to hit 50 percent on Nov. 3.

In-person early voting starts today, and the public remains without a full accounting of who is registered and who may attempt to cast a ballot in the runoff. This lack of transparency needs to be rectified immediately, or the integrity of our elections will remain threatened. Georgians demand transparency, accountability, and accuracy in our elections process – and the Secretary of State is failing to provide it in a timely manner.

The Republicans have been telling themselves spooky ghost stories about hordes of Democrats moving to Georgia to vote in the runoff. Here on Planet Earth, the only ones getting caught illegally registering to vote in Georgia are — gaspRepublicans. Try not to faint.

But Raffensperger has already vowed to crack down on anyone attempting to game the system, and he's not here for it.

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