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Jared Kushner Is Going To Hell

Jared's abuse of Kanye West's apparent mental illness is so much more disgusting than we knew.

On Wednesday, we learned that Kanye West — a totally real independent presidential candidate who just happens to be entirely propped up by Trump-loving Republican operatives trying to ratfuck the election, because they think that Black people are incredibly stupid — met with Jared Kushner last week in Telluride, Colorado. As we have noted, and will continue to note, Kanye West appears to be suffering a MAGNITUDINOUS mental breakdown at the moment, which is too a word, shut up.

So, on top of how Trump supporters are vile disgusting deplorables who think Black people are so GARGANTUONOMOUSLY dumb that they will vote for Kanye instead of Joe Biden because of how he is a fancy rapping man, they are vile disgusting deplorables more than willing to do that by psychologically abusing a person who seems to be suffering a breakdown.

They're just plain garbage.

Not long after Wonkette's piece on that went to print (not actual print), Forbes came out with a report on Kanye's relationship with Jared — WHO BASICALLY RUNS THE TRUMP CAMPAIGN — and oh my God, it is so much worse and grosser than we knew. They didn't just meet in Telluride last week. They talk every day, apparently. Or at least "almost daily," as Kanye has been telling his friends. You know, just Kanye and Jared, two old friends talking about all the things old friends who are definitely real friends talk about.

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2020 presidential election

'Like Everything Else He Inherited, He Ran It Straight Into The Ground'

Joe Biden picked a pretty badass running mate.

Joe Biden and Kamala Harris did their first event together on Wednesday as running mates, and it was huge. There were balloons and a parade and Hunter Biden dressed up like a clown and yeah just kidding, we're in a pandemic and Democrats actually believe in science, so it was kinda weird. The two candidates addressed journalists in a big room all by themselves, but the livestream was great and had loud bouncy music and everything. Hooray!

We're gonna say it right now. You ready for us to say it? We're just gonna say it. Joe Biden picked a badass running mate.

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Legal

GOP Makes Voting Great Again By Murdering Ballot Drop Boxes

They've already ratfucked the post office, it was next on the list.

Having successfully ratfucked the post office to prevent timely delivery of mail-in ballots and create maximal chaos and distrust around remote voting, Republicans have now turned their attention to drop boxes for ballot collection. Because making it impossible to vote in urban areas is pretty much their only election strategy.

Well, that and racism. They're certainly not going to go out and enact policies that appeal to Americans!

In Pennsylvania, the Trump campaign and RNC have filed a gobbledlygook lawsuit alleging that ballot drop boxes violate the Equal Protections Clause. 'Cause, sure, fuckit, why not.

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2020 presidential election

This Sh*t Is Not In The Bag

Get to work, assholes.

Hello, it is August 13, 2020, and there are 82 days until the US American presidential election of presidents.

Things have been looking cautiously optimistic, which is the best we really want to say about an election season where so far Joe Biden has been beating the fuck out of Donald Trump in every poll, sometimes by double digits. The average right now is 8.2 percent. Monmouth, Nate Silver's top-rated pollster, has Biden up by 10 and over 50 percent. Just yesterday, new swing state polls came out from CNBC and Change Research showing Biden up six points in Florida, five points in Michigan, four points in Wisconsin and Pennsylvania, a point up in Arizona, and just a point down in North Carolina. Things tightening a wee bit? Maybe. But they always tend to, as we get closer to Election Day.

At the same time, there are certain things about the election that do not look good. As we've been detailing this week, the Russian attack is back, and this time they're using Republicans in Congress as willing and useful idiot assets to achieve their goals. And their chief asset sits in the White House, where he and lackeys like Attorney General Bill Barr are doing everything they can to hurl dildos in the gears of American democracy, fucking with the post office, fucking with the rule of law, fucking with whatever they can find to fuck with. And of course, Barr is planning to announce the results of his bullshit clownshow "investigation" into the origins of the Russia investigation, which, as if we needed to be reminded, was the investigation into the Russian attack that helped Trump get into office in the first fucking place.

And of course, that's not to mention all the state-level fuckery, as we contend with voting and voter suppression in the middle of a pandemic, in a climate where Republicans everywhere already don't want people voting, because of how they lose when lots of people vote.

So, cautious optimism, always on guard, no resting until they wheel the motherfucker out between two giant Big Mac buns if they have to. Don't care how he leaves, but he can't stay here.

On that note, Nate Silver has released his big election forecast for the general, and it's interesting. His headline is a much less funnier version of ours, "It's Way Too Soon To Count Trump Out." His model currently gives Trump a 29 percent chance of winning. However, he says that if he tricks his model into thinking the election is today, Biden has a 93 percent chance of winning. We did not know you could play a trick on Nate Silver's nerd math model.

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