2022 congressional elections

Trump-Loving Senate Candidate Ready To Bone GOP In Nevada

Blessings!

How many Senate races can Trump screw up for the Republicans?

A fair few! And today we can add Nevada's to the pile, since Trump's lackey Adam Laxalt has officially announced he's running against Democratic incumbent Catherine Cortez Masto next year.

Get a load of this ad, you guys ...

Tell me you're a racist who's never watched Star Wars without telling me you're a racist who's never watched Star Wars.

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2022 congressional elections

Herschel Walker Found The Illegal Voter, It Is Maybe His Wife (Allegedly!)

That Georgia Senate run is going GREAT!

"Play by the rules.....the American people demand ONLY LEGAL BALLOTS be counted. Anyone manipulating this election should be prosecuted," tweeted retired football player Herschel Walker on November 4.

On November 6, the putative Senate candidate called again for arrests in the supposedly rampant fraud in the presidential election: "Are you telling me this isn't an attack on our Democracy? No one in America should be ok with this. Anyone committing voter fraud should be prosecuted."

In fact, Walker spent months flogging debunked claims of massive electoral fraud perpetrated to steal the election from Donald Trump.

"After reading @SidneyPowell1 's 270 page report, any person that certified Votes for their state when their state may have had voter fraud but they turned a blind eye and did no research and certified anyway, they need to go to JAIL ASAP," he railed on December 27. "Our Country was built on LAW AND ORDER."

Turns out that Walker should have been looking for that fraud a little closer to home in Texas — i.e. not in Georgia, where he may or not be running for Senate, despite having left the state decades ago.

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2022 congressional elections

Mitch McConnell Will Make Senate Great Again By ... Bringing Back Kelly Loeffler? That Can't Be Right.

Oh, but it is!

Bring back Kelly Loeffler!

Said NO ONE EVER. And yet, an increasingly desperate Mitch McConnell is plotting to do just that. Or, hell, maybe that stuffed shirt David Perdue — our Mitch isn't real picky. He just wants a warm body who can mount a credible Senate campaign against incumbent Raphael Warnock in Georgia next year. And Donald Trump looks to be doing his darnedest to make sure that never happens.

We've LOL-ed many belly laughs at McConnell's predicament, stuck between 2022 and a maniac who'd endorse John Wayne Gacy if he flattered him just right. But let's stop for another delicious afternoon rubberneck — a quickie, if you will — since CNN is out with a new piece on the slow motion GOP disaster in Georgia, where Trump's insistence that Herschel Walker is the one to take on Warnock has effectively frozen the GOP race in place as the former football star makes up his mind whether or not to run.

There are of course one or two teensy problems with the bruited Walker candidacy. To wit, he does not now and has not in decades resided in Georgia. Also Walker's well-documented mental health struggles are guaranteed to be an issue in the campaign, along with allegations of spousal abuse, including that he once held a gun to his ex-wife's head and threatened to "blow your fucking brains out." And, as the AP recently reported, he appears to have played fast and loose with his business valuations to make himself seem more successful that he was.

But perhaps most offensive of all, Walker refuses to shit or get off the pot. Trump's been promising for months that this guy will declare and put together a real campaign, and he still won't formalize his candidacy or nope out. Which means that the "real" candidates, i.e. the ones who got their shit together to declare already, can't formulate a campaign strategy and start lining up local endorsements, because no one wants to get crosswise with Trump by backing the wrong guy.

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2022 congressional elections

Trump Candidate Wins Flawless Victory In Ohio, Every GOP Knee Must Once Again Bow To Trump!

There were primaries in Ohio last night.

If you are not a political nerd, you might not be aware there were primary elections in Ohio last night. You might have been watching Simone Biles come back and win bronze on the balance beam. You might have been watching the male divers strut around in their buttcheek Speedos, a porn show that apparently was part of an athletic competition of some sort. So since that's what we were doing too, let's all learn about the Ohio special primaries together!

First of all, we regret to inform you that Donald Trump must now be worshiped yet again until kingdom come, for his anointed candidate, energy lobbyist Mike Carey, hath won his primary in the 15th Congressional District, which is just south of Columbus, for the seat recently held by Republican Steve Stivers. There had been concern, as Trump's chosen candidate in a Texas runoff last week lost her race. Was it possible Trump was not literally the GOP's lord and savior, who cometh upon the clouds and grabbeth all the clouds by the pussy? Were Trump's candidates total losers, now that Trump isn't allowed to have Twitter?

Well have no fear! Every GOP knee shall once again bow, in earth and in heaven, and every GOP name shall confess that Trump IS lord. Because his guy won! Of course, there were 10 people running, and Carey was able to win with a grand total of 36 percent, but that's OK, Donald Trump didn't win his presidency with 50 percent of the vote either. Majorities are for losers.

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