40 Cheaters Who Got Caught Via Text Message! Tabs, Thurs., April 29, 2021


OK that Joe Biden speech was a goddamn barn burner, and not just because I am high. Go watch the whole thing in Evan's livebloog if you haven't! Thank us with money!

Vox wrote words about it. WE WILL GET TO WORDS ABOUT IT TOO VOX, JEEZ.

Don't let this comparison of Obama's and Biden's first 100 days hurt your feelings. It doesn't mean Obama was bad (Larry Summers and Rahm were though), just that he (and his Obama alum team) learned the hard way not to try to tone it down for the sake of the rat bastards in the GOP.

"Don't trim the price tag of your proposals based on bad advice from Larry Summers types. Don't get bogged down about pay-fors based on bad-faith concerns from phony deficit hawks," [Brian Fallon] said. "Don't forget about judges or purposely de-prioritize them, as Rahm did. Don't write off progressive activists as a group that you can never satisfy."

Also: Implicit bias is (obviously) real. — MSNBC

What does an FDR-sized presidency mean? I don't know, this HuffPost story was kind of boring. But I wouldn't mind it if (via Erik Loomis at Wonkette) he seized the shit out of Montgomery Ward.

Well, shoot, our bad!

(Oh right and the then-Republican-led Senate Intel Committee disagreed, but we guess John Solomon says so? So take that either to the bank or from your bottom.)

Wait, I gotta, sorry, one more.

Uh oh, Brian Stelter says so many stories this week were LIES! I'm two beers in, so it might be me, but I don't see the word Fox anywhere in this story. — CNN

Matt Gertz says so many stories this week were LIES, and says Fox a lot. That is correct. (Media Matters)

Even correcter, maybe?

"Oh," Chicken Little said, "Joe Biden is coming for everyone's meat! He is going to stop everyone who is eating New York strips and turn them into a windmill, and if you try to object, he is going to put you in an enclosure where you will have to sit while Greta Thunberg makes withering remarks."

It just feels true. — Alexandra Petri at the Washington Post

Congratulations, red states, you Census played yourselves! (Democracy Docket)

To keep these Black women off the bench, how low will the GOP go? Eleanor Clift would like to know! (Daily Beast)

RIP Ole Anthony, old baller. — New York Times

Florida GOP Lady So Mad Big Jerk Hasn't Venmo-ed Her For His Half Of 'Insurrection' (Talking Points Memo)

"The CDC recommends Joan mind her own damn business." — Everywhereist

Vaccine side effect, or have you been alive for 40 years? (McSweeney's)

This is an excellent, and I mean excellent, science fair project: Does Your Cat's Butthole Really Touch All the Surfaces in Your Home? Better click and find out! (PopSugar)

Fuckin' Joe Biden, man. He's all right.


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Rebecca Schoenkopf

Rebecca Schoenkopf is the owner, publisher, and editrix of Wonkette. She is a nice lady, SHUT UP YUH HUH. She is very tired with this fucking nonsense all of the time, and it would be terrific if you sent money to keep this bitch afloat. She is on maternity leave until 2033.


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