40 Game-Changing Ways To Use Pool Noodles! Tabs, Fri., Feb. 19, 2021

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Want to (pay to) watch the US version of "Life on Mars" that was so wonderful and confusing and I never understood what the fuck was going on and it got canceled basically exactly when I THINK they were going to splain it to me? You can find your options here.

Mars photo booth? Thanks NASA!

Has Ted Cruz repeatedly slammed politicians for vacationing during crisis? I hope not, that would be fucking dumb! Ted Cruz Has Repeatedly Slammed Politicians For Vacationing During Crisis (CNN)

Where should we all take our children on vacation during a global pandemic TODAY? Spin the globe, it's Globebop!

Texas was "seconds and minutes away" from a monthslong blackout. (Texas Tribune)

Ted Cruz was "seconds and minutes away" from getting away with it, wait no he wasn't. Also, he lied to your frozen-ass faces yestertoday. His poor little daughters didn't ask him if they could go to Mexico with friends; his wife, Heidi, was the one inviting all the neighbors on Wednesday to quick, drop this bummer ice storm and wing away to the Ritz-Carlton Cancun.

When Ms. Cruz wrote to the group text chain of neighbors trying to weather the extreme conditions early Wednesday, she said the family had been staying with friends to keep warm, but quickly pivoted to offering an invitation to get away.

"Anyone can or want to leave for the week?" she wrote. "We may go to Cancún." She teased a "direct flight" and "hotels w capacity. Seriously." Ms. Cruz promptly shared details for a Wednesday afternoon departure, a Sunday return trip and a luxurious stay at the oceanfront Ritz-Carlton in the meantime.

(Still, Heidi had a mental health emergency a while back, so maybe HAHA EVEN HER FRIENDS HATE HER isn't hilarious, and she's not the one who lied to our faces.) — New York Times

The Ritz Carlton Cancun looks very boring to me. (Website) Here's where I would go for exactly TWO NIGHTS before I had spent all your money! (Hotel Zamas)

Ah, now that NYT has the texts, Ted Cruz decided not to lie to our faces a THIRD time. You know, he could have said this from the beginning but um LOOK OVER THERE.

Sweet, my home of Montana wants to stop paying me for my solar so we can make extreme weather MOAR EXTREMER. Well, joke's on them, my energy company never figured out my meter problems and was already charging ME to put electricity back into the grid anyway! (MT House Bill 359)

Montana Gov. Greg Gianforte repealed his Dem predecessor Steve Bullock's mask mandate, but said local mandates could remain. Luckily, a bill to ban local mandates just passed the House by a two-thirds margin! Maybe soon it will be against the law to wear a mask at all! — Montana Free Press article mostly repeating GOP talking points about how sad it is for businesses when they have to tell their customers there is a mask mandate :(

o.O

Does this Capitol riot lady have the Second Amendment right to "shoot [the FBI's] fucking ass"? Chin-stroking emoticon! (HuffPost)

New York arrested the fashy-looking dude who knocked down an Asian American (NOT ELDERLY JUST HEALTHILY MIDDLE AGED, 52, COME ON YOU GUYS) lady yesterday, but there's a WHOLE LOT of unsolved assaults against Asian Americans happening since Trump decided to blame a country of a billion people for our poor response to the coronavirus. — ABC7

Facebook and Australia are in a pissing match, so Facebook cut off Australia's access to news. (Platformer) With one tiny little exception, can you guess? (Gizmodo)

Oh hey, Mick Jagger sang backup on "You're So Vain," which you can hear in the remaster (it doesn't really add much? I can see why they drowned him out), and yes of COURSE it's about Warren Beatty. (Showbiz 411)

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