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THUNDER? STOLEN: John McCain will appear on the Jay Leno program a week from tonight, which is opening night of the Democratic National Convention. Old Olympic swimmer gal Dara Torres will also be on the program, and she provides a clear contrast to the French Africans speaking in Denver that night: Michelle Obama and Nancy Pelosi. McCain is expected to make jokes about how he and a gorilla want to rape Michelle Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Dara Torres. [CBS4]

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